Just a question re transgender

[drasticdonkey]

I'm part of a following online (think sci-fi) and I've noticed that this group of people is increasingly made of trans people/gender fluid/queer people etc.

Not only that, but as I've gotten to know the group more/become closer to people I've noticed the following:

• The prevalence of mental health issues in this group
• the prevalence of adhd/autism in this group
• many of them have POTS, or chronic pain conditions or ehlers Danlos.
• the clothing and hair is also very similar, almost like a uniform
• they enjoy certain sci fi shows/certain characters and really become fixated on every aspect of it
• fights often erupt as people get easily offended over very silly things and almost compete to be the "worst off or have the worst mental health" if that makes sense

I suppose my question and thoughts turned to "is any of this connected?!". Has any science/research properly investigated these links? Aibu to wonder if all these things are connected - in particular the medical aspects?

I'm not aiming to offend on this thread but really I'm just curious re the genetic aspect

And what would you consider an appropriate place? One where anyone who points out biological reality is deemed a bigot and a TERF?

Yes I have an autistic young adult son who would fit most of what you describe in your OP. He also works in a field where many of his colleagues are similar, lots of them identify as trans / non binary / bi sexual / gender fluid etc .

My son is straight and gender critical, most of his peers assumed he was gay until they asked him recently so he came out as straight 😂. It will be a lot harder to come out as GC. He has tried to remain neutral on this so far but it’s hard as so many of the ( biological ) girls are self harming in one way or another (drugs, binders ) . Of course, none of the boys are ( ‘‘twas ever thus).

Most of them are very nice young people but he’s becoming a little tired of the tendency of a small minority to try and take over the group with their oppression Olympics. These are usually the most privileged white, male, middle class kids (often from public schools ) who are trying to tell others e.g. those who have been asylum seekers/ refugees, care experienced etc that somehow they are the most oppressed.

“ It’s all right for you Maria, not knowing if you father and brothers are dead or alive as they fight on the front line in Ukraine, but my great gran misgendered me. So check your cis het privilege, bitch “.

He has also noticed the tendency of some of them to imply that their families hate them and that they’re completely estranged from them when this turns out not to be the case. For example, he recently visited the home of one of his friends who claims that his parents hate him for being gay and will have nothing to do with him . When in fact they are supporting their son financially through for university and giving him extra money so that he can rent a flat in a nicer area because he’s supposedly scared of being attacked in a rougher area.

My son is aware that it seems fashionable to claim that your parents hate you, when they simply don’t understand you. Which of course is the plight of every generation of teenagers in the west for the last 100 years 😬

So yes there’s a lot of Groupthink and pressure to fit it. Probably like most groups TBH.

Sorry, I'm confused. Are you saying that your biologically male autistic children are being coerced into identifying as trans girls by people in medicine and education and actually misgendered by them because they call them she/her/girls?

Not judgment, but some cynicism. I believe that these conditions exist and some people suffer from them. But unfortunately some of the conditions have been picked up by certain groups of people, and now form part of an identity. I’ve seen patients who’ve come in saying they think they’ve got fibromyalgia, so they get their diagnosis, and then a few months later they come back with POTS. Then they come back with a trans friend who also thinks they have POTS. Then they come back asking if they can be tested for long covid. Then they both want referral to the gender reassignment clinic, and referral for ADHD. The latter rarely happens because they often don’t complete the long form that is required for all referrals. Then one of them comes back with a new partner , also trans, who thinks they have EDS. Then the original patient things they have EDS too. And most of them are already on medication for anxiety and depression. And so it goes. I doubt you’ll believe me but this is something I see.

As I say, I think it’s part of their identity. Like listening to the same music, fighting the same causes, wearing the same clothes, following the same influencers, often sharing history of abusive childhoods. Having the same medical conditions (often with no formal diagnostic tests available) is part of “finding their tribe” as people say on MN. So yes, sometimes I think it’s subconsciously imagined. Not a deliberate deception, but a subconscious desire to further identify with their chosen friendship group.

I’ll get slated now for sure.

Maybe join the doctors with long covid group online, a friend is a part. You can tell all the doctors in there who are no longer able to work or significantly reduced that they are right when they have been marginalised by their own colleagues. That going from working full time/marathon running etc post covid to having to give up being a doctor and leaving the house is, you know, just because they is young wimin.

I think it's difficult for young people. Suddenly there are all these new questions. What is my gender? Am I healthy? Might I have long COVID? Lists of symptoms and definitions. With no straightforward answers. And them trying to fit into categories. It's the current way. I don't know can feel stupid and unsatisfactory. So they pick something.

I think there are lots of straight ND or 'geeky' children who feel like social outcasts being lured into the LGBTQ scene because it is a place they feel accepted. Unfortunately it often causes further confusion regarding identity when you have surrounded yourself with people convincing you that you must be gay. Psychologically, it can be a likened to cases of mass hysteria.

So what sex are your children? We don't understand what you are saying without that info. You may be combating pro-trans teachers, for example. We can't tell.

What is unclear about their post? I find your post the unclear one. It is clear that the poster is 'combatting pro-trans teachers', who try to tell the boys that they are really girls.

There are just so many in the fandom I'm mainly referring to... doctor who. My husband was the one that was into it first and he's a typical middle aged man that enjoys sci fi. We've been to screenings and conventions. But it is literally overrun with these other people I speak of.

I honestly find it so weird but then maybe I am the weird person. When I think about my "identity" I guess I start with "woman" "mother" "English" then I might go into my job or things I like eg music.

I do not naturally think of my health conditions (deaf in my case or heavy periods) or whether I have sex with men or women etc.

@ProbablyOverEmotional did you read my post?

It's not clear to me, but thanks for the clarification. She deserves lots of support for that stance. I take it the boys are interested in painting, poetry - those exclusively female past-times, which makes you wonder what JMW Turner, Michaelangelo, Kit Marlowe etc were doing painting paintings and writing plays!

Last 100 years? They had that problem in ancient Sumeria. My dad/mum doesn't understand me is the most repeated phrase in history!

@Grammarnut 😂. Your history is a lot better than mine .

It's really not surprising. Sci-fi is fantasy. Transgenderism is fantasy.

I don't think writing speculative fiction/fantasy/sci fi requires a trans ID. I write these and I am as GC as all get out (suspect that's clear from what I write though it never comes up in the worlds I create - they are all biological reality places!). I also know a few others who write ditto and they may not be GC (can't ask, don't know well enough) but not in any way 'trans' afaik. However, I know there is a sci fi group that meets in my area and I have toyed with the idea of joining, but the woman who runs it (I meet her at my voluntary work) - although she loves MN - definitely presents as non-binary, so I haven't. But that's not so much writers of the genre but some consumers.

It’s interesting a few PPs have said people faking illness has caused them to receive poorer care. Have Drs said anything to you directly? I guess it doesn’t help but I’ve generally found poor care to be because Dr haven’t heard of my condition and aren’t curious to find out more. I also suspect that being a woman doesn’t help

That sounds really frustrating! I think it’s important to focus on self help. I’d be really keen to know the name of the good forum

I'm sorry if this has been discussed already - I've not had the chance to read the whole thread yet - has anyone noticed the seemingly high number of trans offspring of A-list US actors?
I can only imagine the disruptive upbringing many of them have probably had.

I think it makes medical professionals suspicious. I had the same reaction when I asked a GP about pain relief for nerve pain. He seemed shocked and told me I could take paracetamol.

A thirty second glance at my medical history would show I have no history of addiction etc. When I did experience nerve pain my consultant neurologist immediately prescribed me appropriate medication. The GP had an immediate 'she just wants drugs' reaction.

I don’t bother with online fandom for scifi or fanfic anymore because even around 2010 I could see the type of behaviour that OP describes was happening and beginning to escalate. I think online fandom behaviour is an intensified version of behaviour I’ve experienced in real life over the years in various geek spaces like hobby groups, scifi clubs, or tabletop gaming.

When I found out about the theory of Five Geek Social Fallacies a lot of the behaviour in geeky spaces made much more sense to me:

https://plausiblydeniable.com/five-geek-social-fallacies/

@StMarie4me You mean a blatantly PRO WOMEN forum?
Unless, you are admitting that to be pro-trans is indeed, anti-women.

I've been involved in the lesbian community for several decades. I'm now seeing quite a few young lesbians, clearly ND once you get to know them, whose lives are mainly virtual (SM and work too), all of them identifying as NB or transmasc, all into sci-fi and fantasy, all with certain tattoos and haircuts. A couple of them make their living as illustrators or creating virtual 'stuff' for followers of certain video games/ communities. Most of them have a fairly loose grip on reality and find it difficult to find RL groups and communities who support them. When they meet each other they talk very intensely about their shared interests but don't seem able to relate or talk freely with others outside their interest groups.

I'd laugh it off as just another teen/ youth tribe like Goths or Emos, except that some of these younger lesbians are now in their 30s and show no sign of joining what I suppose I think of as mainstream society.

The Australian POTS foundation for webinars and research. Paid membership also gives you a discount on a high sodium drink which I’ve found really good - I get it shipped from Australia.

The subreddit for POTS can be really helpful, and I also became a member of a ‘teachers with POTS’ group.

Echo, I can well understand that the expectation of 'performing' as an assigned gender is another layer of discomfort in an uncomfortable world.

But surely, the whole transgender thing is about performing a sex stereotype? And therefore I would have thought harder work.

Whereas you can refuse to perform the stereotypes of your own sex, as I and many young feminists did. I didn’t wear make-up or high heels, simply because I didn’t want to.