Just a question re transgender

[drasticdonkey]

I'm part of a following online (think sci-fi) and I've noticed that this group of people is increasingly made of trans people/gender fluid/queer people etc.

Not only that, but as I've gotten to know the group more/become closer to people I've noticed the following:

• The prevalence of mental health issues in this group
• the prevalence of adhd/autism in this group
• many of them have POTS, or chronic pain conditions or ehlers Danlos.
• the clothing and hair is also very similar, almost like a uniform
• they enjoy certain sci fi shows/certain characters and really become fixated on every aspect of it
• fights often erupt as people get easily offended over very silly things and almost compete to be the "worst off or have the worst mental health" if that makes sense

I suppose my question and thoughts turned to "is any of this connected?!". Has any science/research properly investigated these links? Aibu to wonder if all these things are connected - in particular the medical aspects?

I'm not aiming to offend on this thread but really I'm just curious re the genetic aspect

There's so many of them! It's actually quite shocking! I think I know who you mean, she's a frequent subject of discussion on the Reddit Illness Fakers sub.

Yes it is all linked. Birds of a feather stick together. They are trying to find their flock within a world that feels overwhelming and uncertain.

I wanted to be a boy when I was very young, because it was shit being a girl.
In my teens, I never really fit in (too tall, too competitive, too impulsive, too not- pretty and feminine), but found my alternative tribe and again in uni.

It's 30 years ago now and I wonder how many of us back then would have decided we were actually surface trans? I know 2 at least in adult hood have been dx with autism and adhd. I too, work in schools, so see lots of adhd girls. I see myself in lots of them. But my son is autistic, so perhaps...

What is interesting though, is that you don't very many cool kids transing; not many dodgy little road men suddenly deciding they want to be a girl; Peggy-Soo-Maey wanting to go by 'Kevin', discarding her talons and cutting back on the fake tan and bleach.

I have a personal theory about neurodiversity and trans identity which is that for neurodivergent people, especially on autism spectrum, the expectation of 'performing' as an assigned gender is another layer of discomfort in an uncomfortable world and being able to 'take that off' just makes it easier for them to move through the world. Transitioning socially has had a very positive effect on an autistic relative and enabled them to re-engage with education and be happier and more confident

@GoingPotty39 I'm judgmental because the impact of self diagnosis and faking has directly had a negative impact on my medical care.

It's just amazing how far things have come too.

A few years back if we thought someone was mentally unwell (eating disorder, faking illnesses, anxiety etc) we would have treated it or tried to fix it.

Now we have a situation where it's clear that people are not well in more than one way often and we are expected to bend over backwards to just go with it. It's kinda like sending and anorexic person away with a diet book and a pack of slim fast shakes whilst saying "yeah you could do with dropping a few pounds"

Of course we would never do that! But the trans stuff we are expected to go along with it. Expensive, radical treatment and change language etc.

When did it all go so strange?!

One of my prompts for posting here was a thread I read by a poor young person who was left paralysed after an accident. One of the comments said "please don't use semi colons on your post as that is for suicide not for quadriplegics. It's rude to use it"

When I looked at that poster. She (or they) was a sci fi fan, blue hair, large glasses, piercings, liked anime, and had "queer" written at the top of her page and had chronic pain conditions too. She was very vocal about how depressing her life was at age 18 but appeared to have a lovely mum and lots of close friends. She was studying at uni and appeared happy. She also had a girlfriend who was a trans person (originally a boy) and I just thought "my goodness. This can't all be a coincidence"

@verysmellyjelly was this meant for me? I was replying to a GP, different username. Are you saying that because others have self-diagnosed/faked it’s impacted care you receive? Or are you the GP talking about medical care you give? I thinking faking illness is wrong, albeit in some cases people doing this may be mentally ill which deserves compassion. Self-diagnosis is tricky. It can be very difficult to get medical care/diagnosis for certain conditions so some people might do it out of desperation. As someone with POTs I have generally found many health care professionals ill informed and some have been judgemental or sceptical. I don’t know if that’s because of other people self-diagnosing/faking, but I suspect more likely due to years of under-funding and disbelieving women’s health issues

Yes. Another thing they do is use this identity stuff to bully others and show everyone what a "good" person they are. I mean, they claim to be the most empathetic, but how was that response in any way showing empathy to that poster?

@drasticdonkey The impact of identity politics on people with genuine disabilities has been absolutely horrific. Most actually disabled people have always wanted to live normal lives and not be othered or defined by disability. But the identity politics schtick has been forced into our spaces and basically taken them over, to the point that it's now totally interwoven with other "identity" based beliefs, and you get all the other things you've mentioned cropping up too.

When everyone thinks that a given group of people is something you can identify into at the drop of a hat, it causes harm. But of course that's a very unpopular view these days

@GoingPotty39 Yes, I'm replying to you because you commented on this thread being judgmental. I'm saying that as one of the people using a sharp tone in this thread, I am extremely exasperated by self diagnosis, tiktokers spreading misinformation constantly, illness as identity politics, and so on. I know with absolute certainty (due to various factual things too lengthy to get into) that this "trend" has caused me real harm by impacting doctors' views of some of my medical issues.

The person was paralysed? So not surprising they might have chronic pain and be depressed associated with that? At 18 I can only imagine it would be devasting to become seriously disabled (as someone who has had serious and quality of life limiting disability from my early 20s.)

@GoingPotty39 OP is talking about two different people. The one she looked up left a nasty comment on the paralysed person's post.

I agree and, based on my own experience as a young adult, I was often searching for the 'reason' or thing that would a) explain why I felt the way I did (disconnected, constantly fearful etc) and b) legitimise it in the eyes of others (and my own).

I needed understanding and empathy and it's difficult to explain and for others to comprehend the effects of long-term emotional/psychological abuse.

@GoingPotty39

Sorry there were two separate people

A) op was a young man paralysed by an accident

B) commenter was a gender fluid/queer person that told the boy he could not use semi colons as that was only for suicidal people

Ah I see. I was specifically saying the earlier GP poster was judgemental. I do actually think some other posters are being judgemental but almost in an opposite way to you. I’m sorry your care has been impacted. I have a lot of sympathy as someone also with a serious disability who has not received great care on many occasions

Ah I see. I don’t get the semi colon thing?

Area 51 actually 😂

I know two.

Both pretty regular in our teens and early twenties though with anxiety and depression diagnoses. Both comic book / manga / subculture fans, both “queer” and non-binary, though have only ever been in relationships with men.

Both now have EDS, POTS, autism, ADHD, fibromyalgia, walking sticks and GoFundMe funded wheelchairs. Most recent diagnosis for both is functional neurological disorder. Neither have worked past their mid twenties and are now in their late thirties.

They don’t know each other (but are both very vocal online). It does seem to be something of a pathway.

Me? I'm not at all judgemental. I just know lots of people fake illnesses online and they are often found in these groups. They also cause a lot of harm to people with real diagnoses (and I am one of those people).

For what it’s worth, I don’t think they’re faking illness necessarily, but I do think whatever ails them is rooted in psychology. And I do wonder how they’d be if they spent less time online.

I wonder what the connection with POTS is? I have POTS and I had to leave a support group due to this kind of thing. Now that some PP have mentioned self diagnosis, I wonder if that’s the case for some of them? POTS is rather ‘invisible’, though the diagnostic criteria are clear. I wonder if any of them have even been to see a cardiologist.

It's called social contagion. It seems children with autism are much more likely to be sucked into this.

I think even the ones who are faking illness are genuinely unwell, just not necessarily in the way they are claiming. They need help and compassion for sure, but they also do a lot of harm too.

I have POTs too. What was happening in the support group?

I expect they have, but because it’s invisible it’s easy enough to read up on symptoms and self-diagnose first. Then go to the experts with the list of criteria. Same for fibromyalgia and functional neurological disorder, autism, ADHD and so on.