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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sadness of losing dog, and now this…

301 replies

Nurseamy87 · 19/02/2025 23:59

I’ve been very upset by something that has happened recently and I want to know if I am BU and should just pay up.. or whether I’m right sticking to my guns and insisting I’ve done nothing wrong here.

About a month ago, we suddenly lost our dog due to a serious illness. It has been awful and we miss him more than words could ever say :(

He’d been going to the same groomer every 8 weeks, for around 4 years or so. Because she’s in demand, we would block-book his appointments for many months ahead. I feel we’ve been good customers; - always turn up on time - I think we’ve only ever had to reschedule once, and we gave her plenty of notice - and we’ve sent new business her way on a few occasions, through recommending her on social media (she’s told us this).

Our dog used to love his appointments and would get very excited when we parked up outside the salon. As she had known him for quite a long time, I messaged her to tell him that he had passed away. She replied the same day, saying she was sorry to hear about this, and she was asking me what had happened to him.

His next appointment was due two weeks after he died. She requires 48 hours notice for cancellations, otherwise full payment is due. Maybe I’m crazy, but I just assumed that him passing away was confirmation that he would not be attending any future appointments..

The day after the appointment date, I received an email from the groomer. It was a no- show notification, saying that as per terms and conditions, we did not show up or notify her that he would not be coming, so full payment (£35) would be required, and there was a link to make the payment.

I was surprised to receive this but thought it was just an admin error, an email that had been automatically generated by her systems. So, I ignored it. We really have been grieving for our darling boy and I forgot about the email.

3 days later, I received a payment reminder email from her. This time, I decided to give her a call just to let her know that I’d received these emails, in what I
assumed was an error.

I was very taken back when she replied with “yes, you never told me that you actually wanted to formally cancel, so the payment is due as per terms and conditions that you signed when you became a client….!! “

I burst into tears at that point - I’ve been struggling with his death as it is - and asked her why on earth she thought I would bring him when he had passed away?! We only had one dog, so it’s not like I was going to bring another one in his place. She is only one woman on her own, and she does all her own admin, so it’s not even like there has been any kind of miscommunication.

She told that she was sorry we had lost him, but the terms of conditions still applied, she did not receive any kind of message from me specifically saying I wanted to cancel, so I owe her the full amount of £35.

I was very upset, so I told her that I needed to end the call at that point. Later on that day, I messaged her and said that I would not be paying. I reiterated that I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and also that we have been good customers over the years.

She told me that she will therefore be “taking things further, as is her right”.

…… what??!!

OP posts:
Pianoaholic · 20/02/2025 09:29

Will read the full thread later, but just wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear this, and I feel angry on your behalf.
We once had to cancel a cattery booking at short notice as our cat died. There was absolutely no mention of payment, the owner just said how sorry she was.

LunchtimeNaps · 20/02/2025 09:29

I'd definitely leave a bad review and tell the people you referred to her so that could maybe reconsider her behaviour.

I know of a dog groomer who had a complaint and she was shit scared of bad reviews even though in her case I thought she was in the right.

MotionofTime · 20/02/2025 09:32

What the fuck!

She's completely batshit.

Literallynoonecares · 20/02/2025 09:36

PersephoneSmith · 20/02/2025 00:16

texting her to tell her your dog had died was notice enough that future appointments were cancelled. You know that, tell her to crack on with ‘taking things further’

Exactly this ^

She won't do a thing. For £35? Will take more than that for her to even get things started so just ignore her.

As said above, telling her your dog has passed away was practically telling her to cancel the appointment although in not those exact words. You have done nothing wrong here but your groomer has behaved appallingly.

Sorry for your loss xxx

verityveritas · 20/02/2025 09:37

She forgot your dog had died, and sent a bog standard 'sorry' message, but didn't actually remember/ process it properly. When you didn't turn up she automatically sent the bill.
When you rang her I suspect she realised the error, but rather than admit the mistake, she's trying to brazen it out (as another poster said). Either that or she's incredibly thick, either way I reckon that's quite a nail in her business coffin.
Sorry about your dog Flowers.

Liv999 · 20/02/2025 09:45

I'd tell her to go on ahead and take things further, she doesn't have a leg to stand on, she sounds like a complete twat, so sorry on the loss of your doggy

Futb · 20/02/2025 09:47

WTf is wrong with people?! Stupid cow.

And for the sake of £35 she’s making you feel so bad. No wonder she works on her own with dogs, she clearly has no understanding of how normal humans interact.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such a silly woman.

Hdjdb42 · 20/02/2025 09:54

What?!! She cannot be serious?!!! Of course you messaging her explaining the dog had passed away, was cancelling all future appointments! When my cat died, I informed the vets he had died, and they offered condolences and cancelled all vaccination reminders! Your former groomer is crazy, I mean really crazy! Let her take you to court, I'd like to see the judge wipe the smile off her face. I'd actually leave a terrible review online explaining what happened. Upload screenshots too. I'm sorry this happened to you, she's stressing you out during bereavement.

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2025 09:56

I’m can only imagine they are on ‘shrooms or something🤔. You told her the dog was dead. What on earth did they think they would be grooming at future appointments? You telling them this WAS cancelling the appointments.

JSMill · 20/02/2025 10:02

I am not one for slagging off people on Facebook but it's right on this occasion. I want the person I send my dog to to be a genuine animal lover as I know they will take better care if they genuinely love dogs. This woman is showing you no empathy so she clearly doesn't care about dogs. Secondly, you actually have recommended her to others so I think you need to share this experience so those who followed your advice are aware.
Apart from that, I would let her crack on with pursuing the legal route, silly woman.

howshouldibehave · 20/02/2025 10:14

I want the person I send my dog to to be a genuine animal lover as I know they will take better care if they genuinely love dogs. This woman is showing you no empathy so she clearly doesn't care about dogs. Secondly, you actually have recommended her to others so I think you need to share this experience so those who followed your advice are aware.

Yep, this. I'd want the person I trust with my animals to not be a shitty person

CautiousLurker01 · 20/02/2025 10:20

I’m with everyone else here - notification of the passing of your dog was notice enough. Write one email stating: “you were advised well in advance of the passing of my beloved pet, indicating quite clearly if not expressly that we would not be needing any further grooming appointments. We will not be paying your invoice accordingly and will consider any further communications to constitute harassment. Your unreasonableness and lack of empathy over this is staggering given I had brought my business, and beloved pet, to you for over 4 years. I will be advising readers on RandomTown Community FB pages of just how appalling you have been over this issue.”

Then block her on everything and post on the local community FaceBook page to let everyone know how she has behaved. I’d want to know and would absolutely be moving my business elsewhere.

ChristmasPudd1990 · 20/02/2025 10:45

Let her take you to court. They would laugh their heads off.

ChristmasPudd1990 · 20/02/2025 10:47

bozzabollix · 20/02/2025 08:37

So sorry to hear this. How insensitive can one person be?

I would send her the following:

“I am shocked and saddened to see that you’ve chosen to go ahead with charging me for grooming my dog after being told he’s passed away. This is extremely insensitive and callous of you.

I can pay the £35 but you insisting on this means that I will be explaining this situation along with posting screenshots of your messages on every review site and local social media that I can. As you can imagine this will be very damaging to your reputation, but I do feel I need to warn other pet owners who they are dealing with. If you’re happy with that I will pay the bill that you’re charging me to groom my deceased dog.

Perhaps you haven’t considered how £35 is a small amount compared to loss of bookings elsewhere once people read about this?”

I would be absolutely wanting to destroy her if I were in your shoes.

Exactly this. She will shit herself.

Fontainebleau007 · 20/02/2025 10:52

So sorry about your dog 🌈 🤍 I agree with everybody else what an insensitive soul she is. Saying your dog has passed away is more than enough to let her know you won't be attending the appointment.

billybear · 20/02/2025 10:55

no words that i can print, i lost my dog very out of the blue last year, dog was prebooked in for next groom, message sent . groomer phoned me in tears saying how sorry she was, i got a new dog and rebooked, it is so shocking how your groomer has behaved, i am not a person who goes on facebook to slag someone off , but in this case i cant believe it so facebook post is needed .

SallySummerPop · 20/02/2025 10:59

This is so ridiculous that if this was on another platform where people get money for people liking and commenting etc, I would have thought this was a fake story due to how silly it is.

I'm so sorry this has happened, just don't pay and leave a bad review. Please don't spend too much more time thinking about this awful woman.

Chuchoter · 20/02/2025 11:09

What a disgusting way to treat you. The chances are as a dog lover that at some point in the future you may get another dog and would be a returning client but she's stuffed any chance of that now!

Of course you telling her that your dog had died should have me at her removing all future bookings as a matter of course.

Why she has taken this stupid approach is bizarre as she risks her reputation being sullied.

Do not pay her and keep all evidence of your telling her the dog had passed.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I would be blunt with her and tell her that she would have to be incredibly stupid to not have cancelled the appointments after being told the dog had died and you will be leaving another review which will reflect on her poor business skills and complete insensitiveness regarding your beloved dog who has passed away.

snoopfroggy · 20/02/2025 11:53

Disgusting. Tell her to do one and try being a nicer human being. Nothing will come of it and hopefully she might digest and reflect on what she has done.

Am so sorry about your dog. Flowers

snoopfroggy · 20/02/2025 11:53

NetZeroZealot · 20/02/2025 07:01

Name her and shame her on Facebook

Yes wouldn't normally approve of this tactic but in this instance ... I'd make an exception

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 20/02/2025 12:09

If you still have the message where she replied acknowledging the passing of your dog, let her take things further. This is going nowhere.

I would however by word of mouth rather than a written review let everyone know how she sees fit to treat her customers

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 20/02/2025 12:29

This is the sort of thing The Mail is good for. You probably don't want your face splattered across it's pages, but would be a good way to shame her.

Redburnett · 20/02/2025 12:33

Sorry for losing your dog. Telling her dog has died should be enough for anyone with any common sense to realise that dog will need no further grooming appointments. Send her a cease and desist type email so it is in writing and tell her you will be 'shaming' her on local social media if she does not stop chasing you for payment. This is never going to go to court so don't pay.

Grannyinnwaiting · 20/02/2025 13:19

shocking

Goldengirl123 · 20/02/2025 13:21

Do not pay. If she wants to take it further then you have proof that she knew your dog has died.
I would be sharing this with her other customers!!!!

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