Half/step siblings

[Pickledeverything]

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

I have 4 biological children by two different dads and one step daughter. They are all brothers and sisters. They are very close though.

I see from your later posts that you have accepted that YABU, so I won't go on about the sibling issue, but I did want to let you know that there are many step parents who continue to have a relationship with their step children after their relationship with the biological parent has come to an end.

My own biological father left when I was 2, and I have only seen him a handful of times in my life. However, when I was 4, my DM married my step father (DSF), and despite them divorcing when I was a teenager, he continued to be an important part of my life. I'm now in my 40's, and DSF never had any biological DC of his own, but to me he is the best Dad I could ever have hoped for. He's been there for me through everything, has helped me in emergencies, looked after my DC when needed, bailed me out of problems - everything a biological father should do for their child. My DDs call him Grandad, and I've always called him Dad. He's in his late 70's now, and has recently started to show symptoms of dementia, which is heart-breaking, but he knows that whatever happens, I will be by his side because whether we're related by blood or not, he is, and always will be, my Dad. No tattoos though, sorry!

That’s not how adoption works either.

If someone has a biological and adopted child do they love the biological child more?

Local authorities conduct extensive interviews to make sure adopted children are not placed in situations where this would become the dynamic. It’s a big reason why they like adopted children to be the youngest children in the family by a number of years.

Yes why can’t they say brother and sister? I don’t understand why it’s an issue and you feel the need to correct them.

you are trying to create issues and cause trouble in your family that doesn’t exist - does seem kind of psychopathic

Yes.

You’ve explained to them what their technical relationship is with their siblings/half siblings/step siblings.
Now leave them alone! How they deal with and define their relationships is up to them, not you. Stop being so controlling.

i am one of 5 but the only child between my 2 parents… so all of my siblings are ‘half’ I just refer to them as my brother/sister

Poor kid. Just let them enjoy their relationships.
You know the technical terms, you don't need to keep reiterating it to them.
It just comes across like you feel your feelings in this are more important than your child's? (I'm not saying that to be true, but that's how it reads.)

My parents remarried others when we were all grown up, I refer to my siblings as brother/sister and my step siblings as step brother/sisters if talking about them to someone who doesn’t know them.
If I say I’m meeting up with them to someone who knows me/my family I refer to them by name. My children call them all auntie/uncle regardless of if they are my siblings or not.
The difference here is that we were all adults when our families blended, we didn’t grow up alongside each other.
If we were all children my guess is we would have referred to them as we wanted to without interference from grown ups.
My children don’t call my step mum/step dad ‘step Grandma/Grandpa’ they are Grandma/Grandpa as much as my own my parents.
I don’t know why anyone would wish alienate family members over wording. I’m guessing your daughter’s other parent has met someone else and who has children and you’re trying to maintain some sort of boundary? Seems a shame to pick on the wording when an only child enjoys the company of step siblings.
edited for spelling

I’m glad you’ve seen the light OP as I was really starting to get concerned for your children reading through this post.

Oh, OP, I can relate to this — the not wanting your ex back, but wanting the life you thought you’d have/the life he and his new partner have. I struggle with it a lot (hence the username). But I also know that this jealousy and bitterness aren’t helping anyone, least of all me. I wish there was an off switch I could just press…

I think if step siblings due to marriage then yes you could say they are not your brothers/sisters . But I wouldn't be ott about it.
But if they are related as in the same dad then no i would agree they are brothers/sisters when talking about them.
I have 2 sister who have a different dad but would never say half siblings.
It sounds like it is hurtful to you . But it's not about you . It's about your kids. You don't want them growing up feeling awkward mentioning things or people.

my brother is my half brother but then the family always made it clear we were not brother and sister (no gift for me at xmas!).

We aren't talking about parent child relationships. We are talking about sibling relationships.

I think it’s cruel to correct them. Surely you want them to feel like they’re family?

Eeeew why would you correct someone they are siblings and comfortable and happy with that

Why are you making an issue of it

Thirty odd years ago I had a relationship with a married man. Not proud, wrong, bad thing to do. I had a baby. No contact with father. When she was 18, she contacted his older children. They all refer to each other as brothers and sisters.

My two kids refer to their half brother as brother, as do I, I would never correct it. They've grown up with him.
I refer to 2/4 of my step siblings who I see and am close with as my brother/sister and the other two I'm not (from a different parents marriage) as step. All 4 came in to my life when I was 18 and they're all younger.

I have 3 biological children and 1 step child. they all refer to each other as brother and sister. I would never 'correct' them. It feels like demoting their half sibling. As young adults they are now all very close but weren't always as younger children. I'd certainly say that their relationship is more important than how the family dynamics looks to others.

My sister is actually my half sister. Different dads, but we have never ever addressed each other that way! Same with my own two children. We are family, don't care who came from who. To make a massive issue with your kids about this says more about you I think. Why dont you want them addressing them that way?

I am so sorry you feel this way.
You still have a life to live, and it’s not too late to find what you really deserve and are looking for.

Don’t turn your disappointments into a trauma for your child(ren) though. Let them live, laugh, and love their extended family and forge strong healthy relationships with their siblings of whatever denomination. xx

I always call my husband ‘my current husband’ 😆

I refer to my ex's step kids and new kids as my kids siblings. My kids however always refer to them as step and half. No matter how much I correct them. Their dad basically ignored them and didn't really want much to do with them once he got extra kids - so it's possibly understandable!

This is a disgusting view point.
my husband is 100% my eldest dad regardless of the fact he was 4 when they met. Blood is irrelevant when it comes to love and family. If we divorced tomorrow he would still be his dad because he’s loved and raised him for 11 years (which is 5 years more than his bio did).
given your replies I’m sure this isn’t even your worst trait

Stop correcting them..it's not your call how they think about them, if the half matters to them, it matters. Back off.