Half/step siblings

[Pickledeverything]

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

As someone who had 2 older half siblings I genuinely hated it if anyone corrected me when I referred to them as my brother and sister. We also had a massive age gap (21 years between my sister and I and 18 with my brother and I). If people looked confused when I introduced them then we may elaborate but to us we were just siblings. I adored them both.

my daughter is adopted and I don’t refer to her as “my adopted daughter”. She’s just my daughter. The “correct”/official title in my opinion can at times devalue a relationship and should be kept for official purposes only.

No. My DC call their step sister, sister. I call her my daughter.

My son’s half sister and half brother are his siblings. We all live together.

his step siblings who are not related to him and who he does not live with he would never call them anything other than step siblings, he doesn’t see them as his brother and sister. He does see his half sister and half brother as his sister and brother.

I also grew up with a half sister I lived with. She is my sister.

half siblings and step siblings I didn’t grow up with I didn’t view as siblings and I didn’t and don’t have any relationship with them.

This

Personally yes I think you are. Respectfully it’s not about you. It’s about your children and what they need and want.

I come from a family where I have one full sister, three half brothers, one half sister, two step brothers and one step sister. If I referred to them all as brothers and sisters people would think that's mad, as I would have three sisters and five brothers. In reality, I grew up in the same household as my full sister, and then my parents both remarried and we now have multiple half and step siblings. Sometimes I drop the half bit because they are biological (and it's just easier to say brother rather than half brother) but often I will state the half and step bit because it's relevant. It all depends on context.

My children have older brothers who are their Dad’s sons. They call them their brothers because they are their brothers 🤣

Call him your current husband - keep him on his toes! 🤣

No absolutely not

I grew up with my half sister and always referred to her as my sister and never thought any different ( same mum different dad and 5 years between is).

one day suddenly as an adult she refers to me as her half sister! I was absolutely shocked and hurt, relationship has never been the same!

I have 2 sisters (share the same dad, but not mum) 14 and 16 years younger than me and have always lived with Dad and Stepmother, (I lived with my mum growing up). I have always thought of them as Sisters, never really wanted to split hairs and refer to them as 'half'. I would feel like it would put a strain on what relationship I do have with them and also feel annoyed if I kept getting 'corrected' all the time. It shouldn't matter to me, or them I don't think. unless one of them needed a kidney, or something and they needed a direct match, or my DC start asking questions once they get older and notice my mum is not their mum and I would have to explain the difference then. 🤷‍♀️

My half brother is just my brother (paternal side)

My other half brother (maternal side) is also, just my brother

My DD is 4, her half-brother is 22. She knows him as brother and nothing else. She knows her daddy is his daddy too and that he has a different mummy to her. He will never be referred to as anything but brother but if she asks questions about their relationship when she is older, I'll obviously clarify for her, but cannot imagine using the term 'half brother'
Her brother also has other various half and step siblings, who he refers to as sisters and brothers.

This makes me so sad. Growing up, if talking about my mum and stepfather, I would say “my parents”. He wasn’t technically my parent, he was my stepfather - my Dad is still alive and around. But for a child it’s exhausting having to explain your family situation all the time by using the technically correct terms. Especially if it’s not relevant to the situation in hand and you just need a shorthand. I did accidentally say it to my Dad once, and he was very upset. Understandably so. So I did try not to use the phrase in front of him again, to spare his feelings. But when talking to anyone else it was just a handy convenience. Don’t overthink it. And be thankful that your children have formed strong bonds with their half and step siblings.

I don’t really no how to vote on this one.

I have 2 sisters. 1 is a “half” sister. But it’s never felt that way. I have never even thought of her as anything other than my sister. I think because we are all from the same mum and have been brought up together.

My “sperm donor” has 2 other biological children and a step child. When we did see each other still if I spoke about them I did say step and half. I don’t actually see them as my siblings.

Gosh no! I have only given birth to one child but he has a sister. She is a whole person not a half person. She did once call my son her half brother to which her mum said something along the lines of - he’s the only one you’re ever going to have so you might want to not call him half a person. He’s your brother.

My husband has a half brother but again. He’s the only one he has so he calls him brother.

So my kids have a half sister. They’ve only ever called her their sister. And I’ve never had an issue. I sometimes refer to her as their other sister. Don’t think we’ve ever used the term half sister.

I did however have issue with them calling their sister’s mum their step mum. She wasn’t married to their dad. Their dad and her lived together for a few years with their half sister. Mine would visit. Dad and this woman have since separated so they never see her now and now refer to her by her actual name or their little sister’s mum.

I’m from a very split family and in total there are 10 of us full, step and half brothers and sisters but I don’t refer to them as that. They are my brothers and sisters no matter how divided we all are. To force a child into your way thinking is not the right thing to do.

Yes I do correct my dd if she refers to them as 'brother or sister'. She now calls them 'step' in front of me.

My ex goes through girlfriends like water and she'd have at least 2 new brothers or sisters a year. The last one has stuck for a few years which is good for dd as its stability, but we did once have a heated conversation about the fact that her step siblings aren't blood related and certainly not mine so I'd prefer if she refers to them as step, at least when I'm in earshot

I have 2 "half" siblings on my mums side but I don't refer to them like that, they are my sister and brother, though my brother was born after I left home

Evidently you haven't read my previous comments, so we will leave it there. The funny part is it is you who has made assumptions.

So actually she hasn't had any step siblings at all, and doesn't now? Fathers girlfriends kids are not step siblings

I have a half brother, I've never referred to him as that ever, he is just my brother.

A "step sibling" I'd probably called "step" sibling but would depend on the situation. If they'd lived with me full time since baby / toddler I'd probably say brother / sister, but if it's a blended family when older, I'd probably say "step".

I think it's up to the children, other people's confusion / nosiness isn't their problem.

In response to this, yes you are. You are causing hopefully unintentional rifts. Why does it matter if they aren't fully blood related? My kids have 'aunties' who are really just friends who have been there more than some family actually had. The me as a person, if I grew up hearing that from a stepparent all the time I'd feel like I was a lesser part of the family. You really need to rethink this.

yes because they want nothing to do with him so they don’t get the privilege of being anything to him