Half/step siblings

[Pickledeverything]

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

@Pickledeverything Why on earth would you?!
I have three kids - 17, 15, 4. The youngest child has a different dad to the older two (first husband, second husband).
They are all brothers and sister. It would piss me right off if anybody referred to them as "half" of anything.
My eldest is off to uni next year and his sister can't wait to go and visit him in halls...no, she's not his kid!!! 😂

There is no right or wrong answer to this. I think it would depend on various factors like how old the kids are and whether they live together. If all raised together and living under one roof, I would think " sibling" is appropriate. If the kids are all adults when their parents marry and have never lived together, and rarely see one another, they are more likely to say "step-sibling" (or "mum's husband's kids").

lived together pretty much all their lives, but they are technically step and half siblings

Interested to hear from the 11% who do correct their children

Should I refer to my husband as "my second husband", just to make it clear?!!! 😆

No. My DCs "half" siblings (on their dad's side, not mine) are their siblings. They don't live together, and actually hardly ever see them for various dad related reasons. But I've only ever referred to them as their siblings. Never half, except when I was explaining the actual relationship when they were first born.

My DS has a half-sister. He hardly mentions her. They see each other maybe once or twice a year. There is a 23 year age difference.

If he refers to her at all, he calls her his sister. I don't mind, it's his relationship and his choice.

I disagree, I think if a child feels like a sibling is their brother/sister then it is up to them if they choose to call them that and it would always be petty and cruel to 'correct' them.
Likewise if the family set up is such that they don't really feel like family then they should be allowed to refer to them as step/halves if they want to.
Basically no good can come from forcing a relationship to go either way, just let it develop naturally however they are comfortable.

Most people with half-siblings just refer to them as their brothers/sisters don’t they? Since they are their biological siblings and they share DNA and a parent and wider family like grandparents aunts uncles etc

For step families I think it varies but I usually hear people say ‘my step-sister/step-brother’

But if your children were to refer to their step siblings as just siblings would you correct them or am I wrong?

My husband has an older son, he's a grown up. He sees our children very, very occasionally, maybe once a year, maybe less. He has never lived with us, hasn't been keen on visiting our kids and doesn't have a relationship with them. I don't need to correct my children, they know he is a half brother.

I think it would be very wrong to police children's chosen language around this.

My kids will sometimes refer to their step brother as their brother when talking about him to people who don't know him. I've never corrected them because it's up to them to decide what they're comfortable with. We're extremely lucky that all 3 kids get on so well, I'm not doing anything that might interfere with that.

Should adopted siblings be referred as such? Should donor egg/sperm siblings be referred to as such?

It's up to the siblings how they wish to be referred to as.

If someone asks me how many siblings I have, I'd say "I have x siblings and Y step-siblings". But if I'm referring to a specific one I'd just say brother/ sister. Eg, "I'm meeting my sister for lunch tomorrow" when the sister in question is my step.

@LadyMinerva It's up to the siblings how they wish to be referred to as.

⬆️ Totally right. And I'd view anyone trying to influence or dictate otherwise as a massive dick at best and a psycho at worse.

Nope. The kids get to choose and I take their lead. So I say things like "did you have fun with your brother?" Because they'll say "my brother taught me to beatbox" etc. but I also don't correct them when they call step mum "mum", but I don't call her mum to them, I call her "sally".

No we don't correct them.

My DD15 has a half sister at her dad's & 2 step-brothers at our house. She of course knows the biological connections.

Her dad would say half sister. But then he's a prick. She also doesn't speak with him anymore.

I person don't think there's any need to correct them. Why would you?

My close friend always calls her step sibling her sister. They were only 2 and 3 when their families blended, all parents involved are more than happy with this.

Not sure why anyone would have concerns with half or step siblings calling each other brother or sister, surely it's up to them.

Do you not like half and step siblings using the brother or sister term OP?

Do you correct them? Or are you talking about the other parent correcting them?

If you correct them, can you tell us why you feel the distinction is important? I assume the other child is not yours/ your new partners but a child in the other parents household? How would you feel if you were the mother of the "half" sibling? Would you want them constantly referred to as half?

Maybe refer to him as my middle husband, just to keep him on his toes.

I can 99.9% guarantee my ex-husband calls my daughter from my second marriage "half sister" in front of my sons. That's about just being nasty though.
But I guess preferable to "probable r**d" that he referred to her as when he knew I was pregnant (I was "too old" at 39 to have a child etc...)

My child talks about their “brothers and sisters” often. They don’t have brothers and sisters. They have step brothers and half sisters. I’m sick of constantly having to correct them and then explain to other people the family dynamic because they are obviously confused. Several people agree with me as shown in my poll. They just haven’t spoken up yet.

Or your current husband 😁

I never refer to my sister as a half sister.

Aside from when I was about 7 and being taught averages at school - 60s, so a lot fewer blended families, The teacher insisted that I couldn't have half a sister (she was probably right about not including my sisters brother as 1/4).
Loved the "told you" when the average number of children per family was 2.5.

Completely different terminology.

1. Do your children have 1/2 siblings ie biological mother/father have other children. Or

2. Blended family, mother/father shacked up with a partner with children ie step siblings.

3. would never say half sibling would always be sibling.

4. would always be step