Half/step siblings

[Pickledeverything]

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

You sound weird and a pound to the penny that if they were "half siblings" on your side ie both your kids but different dads, you would absolutely not correct them.

I agree with you, OP.

A half is a half, a step is a step. They are not full siblings. Stating the difference is not hateful, it is factual.

I have a half cousin, and 11 full cousins. My favourite of all of them is the half cousin, and it does not negate the relationship in any way to state that we are half cousins.
I also have a step-sister, we were both 16 when her mother married my father, so pretty much adults, and not raised in the same house. Legally we were step-sisters (her mother divorced my father, hence legally I suppose she is my ex-step sister/past tense step sister), it's no skin off either of our noses to state that we are/were step sisters. I prefer her to my bio brothers too.

I think it is fine to be factual with your children. It does not diminish the relationship.

You can change your vote - just click on the other option and your vote will change.

Eurgh. You sound VILE

Stop “correcting” your child and allow them to refer to their SIBLINGS how they wish.

So stop 'correcting' them then if you're fed up of doing it. They're probably fed up of you policing how their view their family relationships too. It's really sad and quite cruel that you do this.
Isn't it a good thing if you're all just siblings to a kid? They don't care about the biology or the label, just that that is their sibling. It's very pure.

Why do you feel you need to "correct" your children? You're allowed to define your own relationships, so are they.

so if you have a full sibling they should forever more be named ''this is my full brother or sister"

otherwise people will be confused of the relationship to you? or "fully biologically related"? or "I share more DNA with this brother than I do with the other one I have" so I presume just using plain old "sister" or "brother" is not technical enough anyway?

'stating the difference' to me going by that thinking means fully explaining the biological make up

and if we think more we should call our parents not mum or dad but 'this is the male who imregnated my mother' or 'This is the female who gave birth to me'

If people want to be that specific then does it not work for everything?

So ex went on to have children with OW and you don't want to acknowledge that witch's kids as being related to your child, am I right?

Unfortunately you don't get to make that decision. Your child does.

Try to be happy for your child that they're not as eaten up with bitterness as you are?

You are being deliberately asinine or obtuse or both.

A brother or a sister is a brother or a sister - the child of both your mother and father.
A half-sibling is the child of ONE of your parents - so what|? It is what it is.
A step-sibling is the child of the spouse of one of your parents. It really is that basic.

It is what it is.

I’m assuming there is some back story here. Is the siblings mum the OW?

I think the voting is confused. Surely YABU is "no I do not" because the children are not doing something that needs changing.

I am not being anything other than basically saying people have every right to use any words they want

why can people not say sister or brother if they want? even if they are not blood related? who died and made anyone God?

Why does it upset people so much? It seems very controlling

Huge difference between a half sibling and a step sibling

esp after a breakup it’s more like step who???

No. I would not.

The relationship of step siblings varies depending on what part of the family they are born from.

If they're raised together, they won't see the relationship as a step relationship.
If not raised together, every 2nd weekend visit its more of a step relationship.

Half sister/brother.

So peole who have adopted siblings have to use the words 'this is my adopted brother/sister'?

I'm sorry but your awful correcting this. So many times here we see people spouting the crappy line that being a stepparent is the hardest job in the world, it isn't, they have power over their own lives.

Petty, manipulative crap like this is what can make being a child of separated parents the most miserable and anxiety ridden existence.

Constantly having to police yourself to keep both sides happy, say what they both want to hear, even when it's conflicting.

Don't be the asshole in your children's lives due to misplaced jealousy or revenge.

Nothing used to piss myself and sister off more than people referring to us as half/step. Used to boil our blood as this wasn’t how we saw ourselves, we believed we were ‘proper’ sisters.

My boys refer to their half siblings (from dh’s first marriage) as brothers and sister. In the same way I refer to dsd’s son as “my grandson” and he calls me granny. I think it’s up to them to choose.

People can say what they like. I am not stopping them.

But within OPs house, I do feel it's fair enough for her to factually state that the steps/halves are steps/halves.

OP may well be upset if the father of her children has set up a harem and has fathered various other kids/shacked up with women who have kids - I can understand that, can't you? Have some sensitivity if not.

What about the OP's sensitivity to her own children? Children who (if you take your hypothetical as true) have a father who set up a harem. They clearly see these other kids as their siblings - where is the OP's sensitivity to them? Since you're so keen on being sensitive to others?

I sometimes point out that my son has a different Mum but only to acknowledge her role in their lives and therefore it's stated that he is a half brother. But on the whole he's a brother.

Why does it need to be 'factually stated' every single time? I'm sure they know by now and simply prefer saying brother/sister.

If OP is upset then she needs to work it out with her partner or get rid of him, not take it out on children.

So it is a case of 'my house you have to call people what i say' does not sound a healthy environment for adults putthing their own needs over what words children use

If the relationship broke down, it would be confusing losing your siblings, that is the downfall of step siblings.

For now, I wouldn't correct him, very confusing, he'll work it out when he gets older.

I have nephews who were children from my SILs first marriage. They were young adults when my late bro married. My bro was older than me, so the nephews are not too much younger than I am. We have always been close and their children definitely feel the need to insert the word step in front of any of their roles as nephew, cousin etc.