Half/step siblings

[Pickledeverything]

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

This is different and utterly inapplicable to the general question.

The parents in this case are clarifying for you that there are not 11 children in their home because that could be misleading in a patient’s notes. They’re trying to give you an accurate social history.

No, you're not a psychopath. However, it's massively manuipulative and controlling to police their language in this way.

Yes
Hth
You sound awful

My partner has both a step sibling and half siblings, he has of course explained the family dynamics to me but I wouldn't dream of "correcting" him, not would it ever occur to me to, if for simplicity and quickness he just says sibling.

Well the " half" sister at least IS their sister. Step siblings less clear cut. In my family I only have one " full" brother.Rest are " hakves" Neither of my parents had " full" siblings so all my aunts uncles and cousins would be " halves " also. But to me they are just siblings aunts/ uncles and cousins

You don't have to constantly 'correct' your child, you choose to. You choose to constantly tell your child how to refer to members of her own family.
I'm glad your child constantly ignores you.

My mum and step dad split up. Both my brother and I ( not biological his) have great relationships with him. In fact better than his biological kids do

I'm sure he doesn't consider us ": random " kids

So you won't allow your DC to choose how they would like to address their own siblings but you are allowed to refer to your paediatric patients as 'my kids'...

The only person I know who determinedly "corrected" his children every time they referred to their half and step siblings as just siblings wonders now why his adult children have very little to do with him and are very close to their siblings...

In our house DS1 is technically DH's, DD1 and DD2 are technically like and the other three are ours. None of the older kids have ever used "half" about the younger kids and they dropped "step" at various points over the years when they felt like it.

Just like my girls chose when they referred to DH as their step dad. And when DS1 chose to refer to me as step-mum and then, many years later, as Mum.

Children growing up together shouldn't be prevented in expressing their sibling relationships the way they feel just because of adult pedancy, or bitterness. If they feel the same bond with their half or step siblings as they do with each other then let them enjoy that. It's hard to make a success if a blended family and sounds like they've done so

Not a psychopath but very rigid and controlling.

We’ve been split up ten years and child in question is 12 so I’m not bitter. Just factual

Nope. You ARE bitter. And resentful. And you are trying to hide this behind ‘factual’ defence. Let’s face it, you won’t even be fooling your 12yo.

Why can’t you put yourself aside, let your 12yo, who is old enough to determine what they consider their relationship with their sibling to be and how they want to frame and term it. Be the bigger person and stop hiding it all behind the ‘fact’ crap.

I’ve been a step child with biological siblings, and I was a step-parent for many years previously. You really don’t need to carry on like this. Your child will not think highly of who you are being when they are older and look back, and who wants that.

Does your child live with their other parent?

Really OP, "one of my kids". They are not your kids, they are your patients.

"Psychopath' is a technical term and maybe not quite justified. I'd go with 'embittered and deeply unpleasant'.

My brother is my brother -I wouldnt refer to him as my half anything. Neither do my sisters.

My step siblings I never lived with them and my Mum married their Dad when I was an adult, so in that context slightly different.

My husband lived from a young age with his step brothers and half sister, he just refers to them as his brothers and sister. His Mum who shared care hates the fact he calls them his siblings and often goes to correct him even at his age now - but she is just a very bitter ex wife in this situation (yes still 47 years since they divorced)

Context is important and how the relationship is with sibling.

I say mine are half, if I ever refer to them at all, but that’s because I’ve never met them. Edit: they are half rather than step.

It's not up to the parents to decide how children see their relationships with their step/ half/ whole siblings. If they don't see a difference, that should be respected.

Ive never heard a child refer to a step sibling as simply their sister or brother.

YABU and are perhaps causing a lot of anguish to your child. This is not about you. It’s about them. When parents try to police their child in this way, it often has the opposite effect to the one desired, and ends up pushing them towards the ex and their family. Because the dc wants to be part of that family. As a result they may just emotionally move away from the policing parent and towards the inclusive family.

So if your child tells anyone that she's got x brothers and sisters you can just add "at her dad's" to clarify. No need to say half or step unless your child doesn't like one of them. Then she will probably put in the epithet herself.

Why would I care?

Especially since she is the mother of their siblings.

Absolutely not. Who would do that. Actually I do know who, my mother who always used to correct my dad when he said he had a brother. Half brother she would chip in every time. My younger two have an older half brother (my son) but of course i’d never correct them and say half.

I generally say brother, but if it’s relevant to the conversation I use the long winded “brother from my dad’s side” - I just can’t bring myself to say half.

Despite my mother having a difficult relationship with my dad’s first wife she never referred to him as anything other than my brother and always tried to encourage our relationship and as an adult I’m so grateful for her efforts.

This response is so lacking in compassion that I can only imagine how insensitive you are to your own child.

This isn’t about you. These are their siblings.

wow. You just come across as bitter. Let your child use the language he wants. To say you can’t use that term in my house is ridiculous.

Your poll will be confused due to the way you worded it. The vast majority are saying you’re being massively unreasonable to police your child’s relationship like that. A brother or sister is more than just biology, I have friends who are closer to a step sibling than a bio sibling. No-one would say friend is wrong to refer to her step sister as her sister. I hope you take on board the comments for your child’s sake, as you are being very unreasonable, to your own child.