Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

[AntiHop]

A few times recently, people have made the incorrect assumption that my 3 year old dd is my grandchild. I'm 47.

This really surprises me, as in my social group, and my family, no one has become a grandparent at that age. Not a single one of my friends had their kids in their 20s. (I have met people who've had kids in their 20s since becoming a parent myself.)

I definitely don't look older than I am. I'm lucky that my skin is doing well. If you lined me up with the friends of my age, you'd guess we are all 47ish. Perhaps people perceive me we older as so many people have cosmetic procedures now, changing the perception of what someone looks like at my age?

I do appreciate that I'm an older mum. Of the friends I grew up with, several of them had babies after my three year old was born.

This is nor meant to be a debate about the rights and wrongs of being an older mum. I'm just curious to know - if you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

I’m about to foster my Grandchild at the age of 41 and I feel old !!!

I don’t know anyone having kids in their 40s most people round here start really young .

I often get mistaken for being a lot younger , I’ve even been asked if my Son is my partner !! I was 20 when I had him and he was 20 when he had his Son .

I wouldn’t change anything .

Haven't read all the replies but it's definitely not common around here (North London) to be a grandparent at 47!

I'm your age and my eldest is 17 - I was by far the youngest mum among my friendship group, and got mistaken for a nanny a couple of times when out and about. 😂

At my DCs primary school it seemed very common for mums to be in their 40s with kids. I'd say that 47 with a 3 year old is the upper end of the scale but I definitely wouldn't assume granny!

but that is normal of someone of your/my background, the 'kids in 40s' thing is relatively new, and uncommon.. It's the multi generations of teenage parents that is very sad... a mother and daughter both having DC at 15? Obvs that is not right, and unlikely to result in good outcomes... :(

Could be either and I wouldn't presume.

I had my youngest at 34. My 56 year old friend is a great grandmother.

Most of my social circle are not grandparents till their mid 60s.
Their children started producing in their 30s, as did they.

There is always going to be stigma from someone no mater what age you have a baby.
Im 38 and my baby is 22 this year not months years moved out .
Some would and have looked down on me but they can go piss off i really dont care anymore i just say well i was young enough to bounce back after birth and im still young to go do what the fuck i want.
Excuse me while i walk away with my freedom.
Op dont let some ones words get to you.

I was once asked if I was a grandma by a pupil, when I said I wasn't, my children were young teens, the pupil smirked and proudly told me that her Mam was a grandma and she was 34!

I find it strange that OP is surprised that people do have children at a much younger age than 40s …there is a goady element to this post!

One of my friends became a grandmother at 38. At that time I was pregnant with my first, aged 36.

sure I made my mum a grandma at 39 I was 21

Late 40s with a preschool child? I'd assume grandmother as I don't know anyone who had a child that late. The oldest I can think of that I know personally was 42.

Earliest I've known someone become a grandmother was 37 - she had hers at 18 and her daughter at 19. I know a handful of grandmothers in their forties. It's more common in my neighbourhood to beome a grandparent by late 50s and early 60s, but 40s isn't unheard of at all.

I was a grandmother in my mid 40s and had a friend my age who had a child the same age as my grandchild

This is MN, most people think it's impossible to have a baby past 40. In the real world, I know more women who became mothers after 40 than before 33.

So no, I definitely wouldn't think a 47 year-old with a toddler is the grandmother.

As said, the optimal age to have children (for the health of parents & children) is early 20's
That's when I had mine, and my dad was a great grandad to my children in his late 40's

I became a grandmother at 44, (10 years ago) I look younger than my age too. I had both; people thinking she was my baby and others correctly assuming she was my granddaughter. There's room for all ages, it's making assumptions that causes problems!

I was a grandmother at 43! But I did have my DD very young,at 19,and my DD was quite young when she had her DD at 23. For a few years I did get mistaken for my DGD's mum,it doesn't happen now I'm 61.

I think it's very much dependent on area you live in. I live in quite working class area, where people tend to have children at younger ages - late teens and early 20s. So wouldn't be unusual for granny's to be 40s if kids do the same

I became a grandparent at aged 40. Often I do get mistaken for his mum, but his actual mum is young and looks much younger than she actually is.

I think it depends where you live. I’m in London and it very common for people to start having kids in their late 30’s / early 40’s so no one would think you’re a grandma in my neck of the woods.

I had my first in my late 20’s and used to get mistaken for being an au pair at the baby groups.

Yes similar for me. I remember being sent to the hospital after an appointment for something and getting in the lift with a woman my age and her daughter, it was the daughter who was pregnant.

all my close friends had babies late thirties.

I never assume as it varies so much. I remember when I was working with Year 7s when I was 42 and overhearing a conversation about the age of their grandmothers and one of them had a grandmother the same age as me!

Of course it’s common. It may not be the norm, but it’s not unheard of to have children in your early 20s. Just like it’s not the norm but also not unheard of to have children in your early 40s.

I had my first DC at 20, making my mum a Grandma at 47. I looked young for my age and remember people used to ask I was my sons sister. I think people just like to comment!

A great grandparent at 42?! How on earth did they manage that?

No-one I know is a grandparent in their 40s. Plenty of parents of young children.