Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

[AntiHop]

A few times recently, people have made the incorrect assumption that my 3 year old dd is my grandchild. I'm 47.

This really surprises me, as in my social group, and my family, no one has become a grandparent at that age. Not a single one of my friends had their kids in their 20s. (I have met people who've had kids in their 20s since becoming a parent myself.)

I definitely don't look older than I am. I'm lucky that my skin is doing well. If you lined me up with the friends of my age, you'd guess we are all 47ish. Perhaps people perceive me we older as so many people have cosmetic procedures now, changing the perception of what someone looks like at my age?

I do appreciate that I'm an older mum. Of the friends I grew up with, several of them had babies after my three year old was born.

This is nor meant to be a debate about the rights and wrongs of being an older mum. I'm just curious to know - if you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

I had my youngest at 37 and was the youngest in my antenatal class. By the time he got to school I was still the youngest at the gates.

It's only on mumsnet I see such young pregnancies to be honest. I'd definitely assume a parent.

My friend had one at 37. She was 10 years older than most of the parents of their school friends

The average age is thirties even for a 1st child now nevermind younger ones so I think my experience is more normal these days tbh.

My grandchild was born when I was 42. Sometimes I was mistaken for her mum. Count yourself lucky! I was with my friend who was 26 and her three year old was wandering off and ignoring her calling his name. A woman said to him ‘Your Grandma is calling you’.

I became a nan at 40. Gs is 7 my own youngest is 8. I look old so people probably think my child is my GS as well.

Her child is 8 so hardly years ago

I had my DDs at 41 & 42. They’re 16 & 14 now and I’ve never been mistaken for their grandparent … though I could have been. I think having children later in life has helped me stay young at heart 😊

My cousin's wife was 37 when she became a grandmother. Another woman I know became a great grandmother at 57.

It’s very common to be a grandmother late 40s . My MIL became one at 36 and my mum at 49. I didn’t until 60 . My DIl gets asked if she is the grandmother to her kids the odd time, she’s early 40s She gets upset but there’s no need to get upset. It could be either way.

I wouldn't personally notice. My dad was 47 when I was born and everyone assumed he was my grandad. They also assumed he was my mum's dad rather than her husband, she was 23 when she had me. (I'm now 30).

Your fertility starts to decline at 27 and by 37 has significantly declined. Biologically humans are prime to reproduce in early twenties.

obviously nothing wrong with having babies later in age but there is more to go wrong. Just as having babies before 16 is detrimental to a female body.

My mum was 42 when I had my daughter so for me it's normal I know lots of grandparents in their 40s

My nan was 38 when I was born and her mother was 56 (making her a great grandmother at 56).

Indeed! So far, I've learned that my 24 year old self was crazy to have a first baby (married, financially stable), that I probably wasn't cognitively developed enough, and that I'm probably poor and working class. 25 years on, and all the kiddos are doing well, two through university and third going through. No clear evidence of the trauma they doubtless faced. Laughing at some of the comments here.

@SardinesOnGingerbread I’ve learned that any age anyone has a child ever is 100% WRONG.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I wouldn't really think much of it but my eldest DC will be 24 when I'm 47 so I could well be a grandmother at that age.

Where I live it is not unusual for people to be having children from 20 into their 40s, seems a real mix so I would never presume anything.

I had my last at 39 and two of my friends became grandparents the same year. This was to their older step Kids tho. I was also older than two of my aunty’s were when they became Grandmas. So, yes it does happen!

I was defo old enough to be the mum of a number of women in the baby group I attended (in fact my favourite mum to chat to was 19!)

It's fairly common to be a grandmother or a mother of a young child in that age group, given that child-bearing age spans several decades.

When I was young, it wasn't unusual to have different generations of a family in school together.

If ‘nature’ intended us to have pregnancies in our 20s, it would have made us have menopause in our 30s.

She didn’t say it was the only time , she said optimum .

Around here you would be more likely to be the grandmother. Those having babies in their 40s tend to be women with larger families.

I don't think its that outrageous. I'm not quite 40 and I have a fair number of Facebook schoolfriends who are celebrating 18th birthdays and grandchildren now.

50 is in the same ballpark as 47 and at 50, it's perfectly possible to assume someone had a baby at 25 and their kid had a baby around 20... which would give a 45-50y/o year old a 0-5 child.

It was also a common time to have kids in the previous generation.

I had mine at 30 after a 7 year relationship and my mum joked she had given up on grandchildren! She had me and my sibling at 25 and 27 which was very normal in her group.

I had my kids young , my mum was 40 and a grandmother, at 47 she had about 5 grandkids she also had her family young . These days people I was at school with have just started their families so I have adult children or teens and theirs are toddlers so I don't think it's very common these days .

I’m not sure that’s generally the case though. In my experience it is the exact opposite. I know a lot of senior professionals who had their one and only child when they were 40+.

In my team at work the youngest person to have a child was 35 and the oldest 44. All bar one had just the one child. I know some froze their eggs.