Does your MIL do this?

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So, if there’s been a recent event where cards have been exchanged, birthday Christmas, and most recently Valentine’s Day, MIL reads the cards that are on the window sill. She does it every time, commenting on the writing, what is written. For some reason it has always annoyed me.

YABU she can look if she wants
YANBU she’s a nosy cow!

Key words: LOOK at. Not pick up and read the contents of.

I display cards because they’re cards, it’s what they’re for. It’s no one’s business what’s written inside.

Things that are "strictly confidential" people will hide, because they are not stupid.

It doesn't mean anyone has the right to read anything private, it's the principle.

So if I leave my laptop you are going to read through my emails too? If I leave my phone, you'll check my photos?

If hosts have to hide things when you are visiting, believe it, they're not looking forward to see you 😂

it's bad enough if you look at your SON's card, but you can deal with him. Or he can deal with you.

Don't look at your DIL's cards...

Ugh gives me the ick I hate it. I display them because it's my home and I display it for me to look at. I don't care if she reads one from the baby to his dad that I've wrote but she doesn't need to read love story's from me and DH to eachother makes me cringe lool. I think it's nosey, I wouldn't ever look through cards in someone's house. The only time I have looked at someone's cards is my sisters from our younger brother when we were kids as he used to write silly things in them and it made us giggle. I certainly don't want to read a card to her from her husband though😂😵‍💫

My sister does this. She’s horrendously nosey. On one occasion, she walked past two bathrooms to use the toilet in my en-suite and on her return, started asking questions about the contents of my bathroom cupboard. She got fairly short shrift and has never been left unattended in my home since. She keeps dropping hints about getting a spare key to mine “for emergencies” - not a fucking chance!!

My (lovely) Mum does the same and it really bothers me. Up until this post I thought I was being irrational.
I don’t mind birthday cards etc but she reads Valentines cards from DH and I. So I take them down because I don’t want to say anything to her.

I dislike this too.

I have a relative who asks on Xmas day to read all the cards exchanged between family members. Not only does this mean you can't write a private message to a partner, but it also puts more emphasis on the cards than was perhaps intended. Eg a basic 'auntie' card from child niece, or a basic card from a multipack that contains a bog standard message is now spotlighted and commented on causing discomfort. I try to exchange cards outside of their company tbh.

Also, I don't want to have to immediate bin a nice card or squirrel at the back of a drawer to avoid others reading it. I want to be able to put it between my plant pots on a windowsill and admire the front and be reminded of the thoughtful friend etc who sent it.

Glad it’s not just me ….

You know, I've never thought about this before but my MIL is the only one to do this... My parents don't and nobody else that comes into the home.

I admit I like looking at the cards at my parents but absolutely would not read them unless they say I can have a look or hand it to me or whatever.

My husband often writes beautiful long paragraphs inside cards with lots of inside jokes and other personal things and I do get annoyed when MIL takes it upon herself to pick them up and read them but I pick my battles 😂 Luckily she lives a few hours away and is a complete narcissist so we don't see her too often!

It’s aimed at her MIL because it’s her Mil that’s doing it! It’s that simple. I’m sure if it was her mum doing it, she’d be complaining about her mum. You’re being over-sensitive. There have been others on the thread (me included) who’ve complained about their own mums doing it.

Wouldn't bother me. Cards are usually displayed so why wouldn't you want people to look at them? If it's something personal don't put it up in your living room.

My mum does.

I wouldn't like it, especially valentines ! If your going to look and read them you don't need to comment on them, we walked into the kitchen one day to find mil reading a letter we'd left on the kitchen side ( you should be able to leave a letter in your own house without someone noising at it ) x

I genuinely thought cards were displayed to be admired and have often read people’s cards. Well, this has been an embarrassing revelation for me!

Call it out "oi, nosy!" Maybe embarass her into getting some manners.

I hadn't really thought of it before. I generally glance at the designs and if a theme emerges that's the recipient's signature "thing" I'll comment, eg "lots of cake/shoes/flowers, Alison" just as they'd say "lots of cats and owls for you this year Tortie. No surprise there then!" But actually reading people's cards is a bit much and if this extends to their appointment letters and financial information, some boundaries should be laid down. There are those who don't need these things pointing out to them and those who regretfully do.

I feel like if you’ve put them on display then it’s fair game really.

“Don’t put private things on public display” oh give over!

It’s putting a Valentine’s card on YOUR OWN mantel piece/ windowsill/ sideboard or whatever. You haven’t got it hanging in the Louvre for goodness sake.

You are allowed to put your cards somewhere you can appreciate them without having to squirrel them away in a secret place so no one reads them.

If you have a calendar in your kitchen it would be rude for someone to flip through it seeing when your next period is due or what time your dentist appointment is next week but that’s also “on public display”.

what makes you think they are on display FOR YOU?
Do you really believe the host will frantically display all the cards when you are due to turn up to give you something to read and browse while they're making you a cup of tea?

Photos are different, because you can see them just being in the room.
Opening a card not addressed to you? That's just wrong.

If you don't mind, you are free to invite your guests to have a look at yours, but don't assume everyone wants to share their private mail with you.

My MIL and DM do this!
I don't mind at all...in fact it makes me proud and happy.
The greetings are always positive (why wouldn't they be?!)

DH is very good at cards and usually writes lovely things to me which I'm happy for anyone to see!

Look AT doesn’t involve handle, open, read. People display cards to be admired as decoration for the given celebration, and because they are their cards. Doesn’t entitle anyone from out with that household to read what’s inside. You can look and say “what a lovely card” and move on. Why do you need to now who it’s from or what personal message has been written inside..?

People keep replying with things like “but they are on display” - have you never been to a museum? Look don’t touch 😂

I think if you don't want people to read them, you don't display cards, surely?

Thinking about it, I don't even read the cards addressed to my husband or children! I ask my kids who they're from so I keep track of thank you, but it's up to them if they want to share.

Privacy and manners matter.

you think wrong 😁

If people want you to read them, they invite you, or hand them to you.