Does your MIL do this?

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So, if there’s been a recent event where cards have been exchanged, birthday Christmas, and most recently Valentine’s Day, MIL reads the cards that are on the window sill. She does it every time, commenting on the writing, what is written. For some reason it has always annoyed me.

YABU she can look if she wants
YANBU she’s a nosy cow!

It would never occur to me to read other peoples Christmas/birthday/Valentines cards! I might look briefly at the outside of a pretty Christmas card, but to pick it up and read a personal messages is beyond rude!

To those that pick up others cards and read them, do you also read other peoples post if its on the table, or their paperwork its if on a desk, or their personal emails if their computer is open??? 😕

I never know quite what to say when she does it! DH got me two Valentine’s Day cards as he couldn’t decide between the two and she asked ‘why did he get you two?’

Yeah I agree OP, my mum used to do it.
Fine to have cards up and people can look at the front, but to pick up cards and read what’s inside is so invasive, especially say valentines or wedding anniversary. DH once wrote a really lovely message in an anniversary card after I’d had postpartum depression and Mum just gawped through it. We now have a wire noticeboard and I clip them up on to that so she’d have to physically unclip it to read it (still wouldn’t put it past her, but there’s a barrier there at least!!)
Shes so nosy anyway though; as you’ve said she’d have also thought nothing of picking up medical appointment letters in the kitchen and having a nose through those in the past. She also still begs me to come to my medical appts too (I’m 40!!!)

So yes; would do my head in too!!!

I don't think reading Christmas cards or birthday cards is rude but I wouldn't read valentines or anniversary cards in case the words were too slushy.

Maybe in future put something really sexual in your husband's cards and display them to teach her a lesson😆

Definitely hiding them next time!

Probably not a good idea to put private things on public display.

Actually yes, this would annoy me. I remember my MIL opening all my baby gifts and cards when i was in hospital after having ds1. She just took it upon herself to open everything up as i lie in bed shell shocked from the traumatic birth and numb from the epidural. I remember watching her but couldn't move or speak up. And so i never knew who gave me what as everything was mixed up!!!

Same, I am not a MIL. But if cards are on display I always have a nose! And yes sometimes I will comment on writing, my MIL best friend has the most beautiful writing and I always comment on it when I read a card.

I read my inlaws valentines card at the weekend actually.

I think this is an older generation thing. I remember my grandmother always doing this. Luckily my own mum isn't so bad, she might make a general comment about the amount of cards for a birthday or ask if certain relatives remembered in which case I might point out which card they sent, but she doesn't help herself nosing through them.
MIL on the other hand definitely would, also asking who is so and so? Commenting about the printed writing and how lovely it is (me knowing that is just by chance and that's what happened to be in the card). We don't see them that often though so for kids birthdays it might be a video call and you can tell she is always looking out for her card and the one she buys for her (grown up) daughter to send (so I always put these in a different shelf for devilment 😂).

I'm with you, OP. In my case, it's my mum who does it and I do find it annoying, much as I love her. I'm happy for people to look at the front but what is written inside is often personal and intended for the recipient (me!) only. I don't think reading other people's cards is any more acceptable than reading other people's letters, really.

My Mum does it and it drives me mad! My MIL doesn’t. Imagine reading your Son in law writing something crude to your daughter 😂

My mother does this. I find it outrageously rude. I've even found her rifling through paperwork when I've gone to the loo. It's not that I have anything to hide but it's so invasive. I put away all paperwork before she visits these days and don't like leaving her unsupervised around my house because I think she will start rooting around in drawers. Awful.

They're not on public display, they're in my private home on my mantelpiece. I haven't lined them up on the front wall!

This!!! ☝

My mil does this too, she is the only one to do it. I find it rude and would never do it. I don't think she realises. I've started taking down any cards before she arrives.
I thought it was just me who felt uncomfortable watching someone look through all the cards.

Reading the outside of the card fine. Opening the card and reading the private message inside not fine.

If not on my mantle or bookcase where am I supposed to put them for my enjoyment on the day/s but without snoopers snooping.

It’s my home my private space, that letter on my desk is also private I don’t expect you to go over pick it up and read it.

But then you invite people in right? They're not climbing in through the window whilst your back's turned?

Where do you draw the line then? When your mum or whoever is looking through your bedside table?!

So if my bank statement was on the coffee table you’d think it’s ok to pick it up and read it?

They’re not out in the open. They’re in my private home.

I mean in honestly try not to. Very rude to not invite mil in who’s appeared on door step who in turn behaves rudely snooping.

Yes older female relatives in my family think nothing of doing this. They can read upside down too. Sometimes they even see through cupboards and get lost going to the toilet and just happen to be found near paperwork. Lack of boundaries.

Because no one else I invite in does this!!!

Because everyone knows it’s rude to read cards not addresses to you!

You should say ‘Adam, do you mind if I read this card?’

It’s usually aimed at MIL as mothers were used to reading their kids cards when they were kids and don’t stop doing it when they get older/move out.

If this is something you do then by all means crack on but just be aware people do think you're rude and nosy 🤷‍♀️

I now hide hospital letters. My daughter had a letter from her dance school which she started to read, asking about whether there would be enough tickets for grandparents to see the show. I just think it’s rude.