We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

I think this is where a lot of the issue arises.

Do you get we don't want your money?

Do you get we don't think we're entitled?

Do you get, we are well aware we've got a better washing machine than you had?

I think people are really struggling that we understand all of that, and we don't want hand outs.

What we struggle with, is the delusion that Bob the caretaker and his SAHM wife, think they live in a mortgage free home worth £900k because they were shrewd and worked hard, whilst Sam (their son) and his wife, two full time doctors, can't remotely afford it. They actually think that. I can't fathom how people can look at a house one low paid job could afford, now totally unaffordable to two doctors, and think they had it no easier

Then further, as his parents, they see Sam struggle to afford a home, but tut that he just needs to stop indulging himself and work harder, like they did. They don't pass on even a tiny part of the huge increase in equity they did absolutely nothing to earn. In fact, they spend the equity they haven't earned on indulging themselves, because "it's our money, he's an adult now, we've done our bit". "Why should I share when you just need to work harder?" Some even joke that it's "spending your inheritance, ha ha ha". Read the fucking room. The children you patronise, telling them they need to learn to make sacrifices, while you sit in the house you could never afford on your own merit now, don't find you funny. And we can't ever imagine behaving like that to our children.

And it's across the whole generation. Not all. Like everyone there are exceptions, and rules so to speak. A stereotype. But as PP says, they exist for a reason.

Because I, and many of us, have grandparents?

And it's across the whole generation. Not all. Like everyone there are exceptions, and rules so to speak. A stereotype. But as PP says, they exist for a reason.

So all the people on this thread who have said they are Boomers or their parents are and they don't behave like this are liars? And everyone in your generation is a clear-sighted saint? I see.

Do you get we don't want your money?
They don't pass on even a tiny part of the huge increase in equity they did absolutely nothing to earn.

These two statements from the same post seem to me to contradict each other.

I am now in my late 50s. It is absolutely undeniable that it is much harder and proportionately more expensive to buy a property in 2025 than it was when I first purchased a flat in 1989. Even then it was hard, but now two paramedics, or two nurses living in the South East stand a limited chance of owning a property. Times certainly were tough and we had more to contend with in terms of negative equity and unemployment but affordability was not the issue it is now. For my own kids I have looked to save for a deposit and I am lucky enough to be able to do this. Not everyone can. The answer I think lies in public policy. We need to build more, restrict foreign property ownership and think about how we can support young people.

One in seven first time buyers receive their deposit as a gift

Yes. And nearly all have to have at least part of it as a gift. Or they would never ever be able to leave home. That's how hard it is now.

Your generation didn't all get handed house deposits because you didn't need that help. It would have been nice, sure. But not essential.

Unless unimaginable level of change/things crash and burn, my children will not ever have enough for a deposit, unless gifted. And that won't come from me. Well, it kind of will. It will come from the inheritance I get when I guess I'm about 70 that I'll bypass straight to them. Because it's seems beyond alien to me, for them, at 27 to need it for something as essential as a home, but for me to sit with it in my bank because even though I can afford to help them, "it's mine (technically, yes) I earned it (categorically not one penny, it's money from house inflation that's now an inheritance)"

If you read all the other words in that post, instead of cherry picking two non sequential sentences that have lots of explanatory context in between them, it might help you.

Do you really not understand that those gifted house deposits - one in seven of them, that’s around 15% - are being given by the generation you despise? We’re the ones handing out the money and we’re not whining that nobody gave us a deposit either. Every post you make puts your entitlement, resentment and bitterness on greater display. If our adult kids were like you, not only would we not have been as generous to them as we have been, but we’d be wondering where the fuck we went wrong.

To actually quote something spelling out "not all the people" and then start your sentence "So, you mean all the people" is quite spectacular 😄

A lot are inheritance.

A lot are grandparents.

And yes, not all of the generation renowned for being selfish and thinking they sit pretty for their better work ethics, are selfish. Again, it doesn't change that's what they are renowned for. And there's reason for that.

No, I understand perfectly well what you mean. You grudgingly concede that out of the millions of people still alive born between 1946 and 1964 a few might be all right. But you said 'it's across the generation' and 'stereotypes exist for a reason', so clearly you think most 'Boomers' are as selfish and self-absorbed as your own parents. A great many people have said on this thread this isn't their experience, but you have batted all of that away.

Yes, a lot are inheritance but not directly from grandparents. People doing what you intend doing - passing their inheritance on to their kids as soon as they get it. But I expect you’ll have a smart, chippy answer to that too.

Yes, there you go, second time round you've got it. Lots of them. That's where the stereotype comes from. Not all. To repeat that.

And if you have a look through the thread, you'll see lots of "boomers" agreeing, and lots that don't.

Why do you think the incorrect stereotype exists? (I look forward to this...)

It's a waste of time replying to you because you are so embittered by your experience with your parents that you are not listening to anyone who disagrees with you. Your impression of my generation is utterly at odds with mine, so we'll agree to differ now. I know nobody who thinks they have benefited from house price inflation because they were astute. We are all quite clear that what's happened to house prices is ludicrous. It's also not of our doing. That was down to Mrs Thatcher and her cabinet, who were all a lot older than us.

Things are completely different from when they started out. Things are much worse due to boomers screwing everything up.
All I hear from them ( and a lot of the population) is stupidity and ignorance.
I'm ashamed of my generation.

Thanks for googling, but you somehow chose to omit some important info:

Relative to the size of the population, the suicide rate in England and Wales has declined by 21% since 1981. Most of this fall occurred before 2000. The suicide rate followed a generally declining trend until 2007, but it has since started to increase again. The rate in 2023 was the highest since 1999.

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-7749/

So first of all, relative to the size of population. Immigrants come here to work or live off benefits, not to throw themselves under a train.

And now the suicide rate is the highest in a quarter of the century.

You really have to be careful when citing official sources. And denying reality never helps anyone, sorry.

Sorry I didn't read the whole thread before posting the same comment.

I wonder why people try to twist official numbers in the age of the internet 🤦‍♀️

You know, your rude and patronising posts reflect the contempt you have for Boomers.

Perhaps a lot of this is shaped by your relationship with your parents but if this is the contempt you show in dealing with them you’d be lucky to get a penny (although you claim you don’t want anything).

Good luck!

I'm Gen X and I'm not going to make my child work
at 14 to pay for necessities when they really need to study and develop, neither I'm going to cruise when my child with their family are being evicted from their home. This is utter horror unimaginable for X'ers I know.

Good for you. Be prepared for millennials and Gen Z to turn on your generation when boomers have gone because you’re going to be the generation with the wealth then.

This. It’s always paid forward.

The silent gen got told to shut up by their boomer children in the 60-70s 😂 On a massive scale actually, rebelling in real life, protesting on the streets, destroying property, blocking campuses and what not. Absolutely incomparable to any rants on SM younger generations can only do now.

I’m a boomer and I’m not the least bit ashamed. Everything is relative and it wasn’t the gravy train everyone assumes.

Bollocks.

How do you know? You weren’t there. I was and you’re talking bollocks.