We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

Car ownership was a lot more expensive in terms of proportion of income too.

Lots of things weren't insanely cheap. Certainly clothing wasn't, shoes weren't and food wasn't. Look at the percentage of pay that got spent on these if you don't believe me.

My (one and only) school blazer was £30 in 1984. My son's secondary school blazer was £26 in 2016.

You are so disrespectful in how you respond.

There are many points that you are not grasping. Did you live in a mining area in the 80s? Probably not. Do you know what it was like to have a national 3 day week and a national programme of power cuts? To sit in the cold and dark? To shamefacedly borrow an egg from your neighbour?

Possibly not.

I'm not saying that it is not hard now, it's a different kind of hard, but all that is happening here it that women are pitting one kind of hardship against another.

There is a much bigger battle to be fought, one that we should be fighting shoulder to shoulder together.

Well said!
I can't believe the cheek of people probably not even born denying the facts!

Things were not insanely cheap - people had less money to pay for them.

This doesn’t sound like what the OP meant though - you’ve been rally generous as a parent when alive with help at uni and house deposit and saving for grand child etc. you’re actually giving her her inheritance while you’re still alive when she needs it. That’s a lovely way to do it.

Do you really not understand the complete lack of logic in your posts? Seriously? If you’re really having difficulty with this there’s not a lot anyone can help you with. Feck all in fact.

Tax deductions of almost half your salary and double figure interest rates bite even harder if your salary is feck all. A child of five could understand that.

I remember my mum having to put cardboard in the bottom her shoes because she couldn’t afford new ones. She often went hungry because she couldn’t afford to eat and feed us. She would also go cold during the day and light a fire for when we got home from school so we would be warm.

Any money she has now I don’t want her saving it for us. I want her to put herself first.

I am lucky that we are going to be able to afford to put money into savings for our daughter. I definitely don’t feel like I ought to have my mums money. If she wants to go on holiday or spend it on whatever I don’t see why she shouldn’t.

No point in trying to convince that poster that life was anything but a bed of roses for all Boomers.

They’re bitter that Boomers benefited from the property boom regardless of any struggles or hardship that they endured along the way.

It’s always said ‘tongue in cheek’ whether or not those concerned are spending their own money. No one is entitled to an inheritance. I expect my kids will inherit the house and my grandchildren are in my will to share in the estate. Husband and I are spending savings on travel though. We are alive and both worked hard for our money. It’s entirely reasonable for us to want spend our money enjoying the time we had left. We made lots of sacrifices during the years raising children (as we should). We were unable to travel then and any holidays we had were geared toward what our children would enjoy. So many from your generation are so bloody entitled. Do what we did, earn your own money and be glad if you happen to inherit. We didn’t.

I think it's gross generalisation blaming a whole generation for your parents' behaviour. I, like you, got nothing handed to me on a plate growing up. I had part time jobs to pay for everything I wanted including driving lessons etc... and that was pretty normal, my parents however, particularly my mother, did not lead lavish lifestyles and were very vigilant about leaving me and my siblings an inheritance. However it was their money to do with whatever they wanted. I wish they had spent more of it on themselves.

Exactly that. Inflation hit 24% in the mid 70s. Add to that interest rates of 10.75% and income tax at 33%. But of course life was a picnic and everything was insanely cheap. 🙄

@Tuppenceabaggy I see both sides. We will help our kids where we can. Driving lessons were 17th bday present. Will hopefully help them with deposits etc, but we also won't do without, just to leave an inheritance. We will live our lives as we need to. If we don't go into care homes there will hopefully be a house for them to inherit. But it is their money until they die.

I'm a Boomer. I have always wanted the best for my children and grandchildren, and I help them financially whenever I can.

Some posters are determined that because their personal experience with their parents and their immediate social circle was poor, that the whole generation is like this.
People who bought Btl and still sitting on them without any consideration for housing stock /
The 70s and 80s was bloody hard for a huge proportion of the population, particularly outside of London and south east. Clothes were made as people couldn't afford to buy them, grandparents often bought school shoes as parents couldn't afford to. There were no chippys every week and trips to the pub that some posters seem to believe equates to the same disposable income.

Although family benefit was for everyone, there was little in the way of benefits.

That is not to detract that there is a cost of living crisis and children are living in poverty right now. In the 21st century. I am ashamed that this has been allowed to happen in a "developed" country.

But this isn't the "fault" of one generation.
It's across Europe too and it's a complex issue.

I’m early 50s and didn’t get a car till I was mid 20’s and I’d saved up. I saved for a house while renting, I paid board when I lived at home. I’ve paid my way all through my adulthood with a little help from my parents at uni. I appreciate the things I’ve earned, instead of being handed these things on a plate and I think that’s a valuable lesson. I get that house prices are high, but you start at the bottom and work your way up. Someone my partner worked with expected her first house to be £250K. That’s nuts. It’s the expectation of an inheritance that is wrong. And parents can spend their hard earned money how they like.

Op youre a good mum!! Thinking of your daughter first. That's how it should be. Don't let the nut jobs on here tell you otherwise they just bitter 🤣🤣

As said to a pp, ‘feck all’ is not interested in any of the hardship Boomers suffered because it’s nothing compared to what her generation is experiencing now, based on the simple premise that Boomers paid feck all for their homes 🙄

God. This is shocking. I am 69, newly widowed. I have had to manage our finances since my husband fell ill some years ago. I transferred his big pension from a defined benefit to ensure the two dd will inherit loads when I go. They've both had big deposits from us to buy homes. I take them on several hols a year, treats and meals out and they do loads for me. One of my greatest comforts in life is that I will leave them really financially secure - I had periods when younger when I wasn't. I am lucky to have all I need and want. But I could no more indulge myself to a ridiculous degree and "spend their inheritance" than I could fly.

No, it's a class thing.
I come from a mixed class family- so I know lots of working class, and middle class people.
Pretty much all working class people I know don't intend to leave their children anything, and pretty much all middle class people I know intend to leave their children money and property.
This transcends money- if someone is now wealthy , but started out working class usually they stick with the working class leaving no inheritance plan.

Spending the kids inheritance is a joke for parents when booking a holiday, it's certainly doesn't mind that they are spending all their money and planning to leave nothing to their children.

I detest the attitude of the op, I detest the derogatory term 'boomer' and this offensive attitude that older parents should not spend money on themselves or carefully husband it in case they need care in later life, but give it to their kids before they die. It's so entitled! (the kids, not the older parents.)
We are probably typical older parents. We really struggled when our kids were young. I remember I kept trying to set up a learning to drive account for them which invariably I had to dip into when the money ran out. But we did buy a house before they got stupidly expensive which was a sign of the times, not stealing property from younger people. We have given them/paid for small things for them with pleasure when we have had the money. Now I fear we will struggle ourselves as we get older.
I would never, ever expect my own parents to give us money and am astonished at the front of children who think they are entitled to do this.

Good on you! You recognise the sacrifices your mum made for you and don’t now feel entitled to what she has or how she should enjoy it.

Agree. Food took up a huge share of income.

So did clothing, eyeglasses, and other necessities. Many people went around with cellotape on their broken spectacles because they couldn't afford new, and I'm talking people with pretty decent jobs.

My dad worked his way up from factory hand to engineer and they still shared one car, we lived in a tiny two-bed till I was 10, sharing a bedroom with my sister.

No pets, no expensive sports and clubs for us (we used the library for free), no holidays abroad, no hundreds of pounds spent on Christmas and birthdays. Mum got a secretarial job when we were of school age and they still had to be frugal.

The ONLY time I ever saw my dad treat himself to anything was in the 1970s he bought a calculator. The kind with the buttons and red readout, about the size of a brick.

It cost £100 in 1970s money and neighbours were literally coming over to marvel at it, from down the street. That's how rare and expensive tech was. Now you could buy a better one in any Poundland.

Those of you who think the 60s-90s were some sort of golden era of ease and plenty that you have been cheated out of are frankly delusional.

Kids grow into adults. Not all adults want to be parented in their adult life. The relationship changes. It would be odd if it didn't. This divide between the younger and older generations is unhealthy. Every generation thinks older generations are rolling in money. Most people are not.