We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

But 3 x were usually enough for a decent mortgage.

Yes I agree, absolutely and not having to have a deposit made a huge difference. My point only was that the claim of 'high multiples' wasn't accurate. It was 3. My DC have been offered 4 and 5 times their salaries.

Let’s see those examples then. Because all we’ve heard from you is feck all.

Yes, one of my cousins had to go back when her baby was 5 weeks old (born 1991), it was a real struggle and childcare was done by hiring a childminder. She did have an amazing childminder who became a family friend so that was a lovely bonus

So do you think there weren't women scraping money together back then?
You just hear Boomer and think everyone was on the golf course in a 4 bed house they paid 20K for.
I LIVED through those times, when our neighbour lost his job, home repossed and shot himself so bugger off with " look around"
3 million out of work NO JOBS
I also didn't say it isn't tough now,I was making point that back then it was bloody awful too not all hostess trolleys and golf FFS!

And equally the negative comments about boomers do not apply to all of us. Some people are lazy, some people are greedy, some people are selfish, some people lack critical thinking skills, some people have no empathy. It has less to do with the year someone was born in and more to do with how much they listen to others and how capable they are of seeing and understanding how broad and varied life experiences are.

I mean if that's all you can understand despite what's repeatedly written down, there's not a lot any of us can help you with there.

Do you mean where you can't understand that paying a higher income tax, on feck all, is feck all. For those rates to then fall and fall and fall.

Do you mean where you can't understand that paying 12% interest on a minute mortgage is feck all Vs 5% interest on an enormous mortgage. Before you even look at the absolute canyon of difference between the capital amounts. And even when numbers and calculations are given to demonstrate, you still can't understand?

Do you need more examples of you struggling with comprehension of those scenarios?

And notably avoiding any examples in return. Again, funny that.

It all depends. My eldest son seems ok financially as do both my elder and younger daughter. But my second son is useless at making money, so I support his wife who works, not him.

My neighbour had to sell up after being made redundant during the boom and bust period and the time of horrendous negative equity, This heralded the start of the buy to let era in the area I live in which also paid a significant part in the ruination of the neighbourhood as greedy landlords were able to swoop like vultures and grab a "bargain". I have watched some of the houses on my street literally decay and I am trapped here in my little home as unlike the cliched boomer I cannot afford to move and you can;t downsize other than to a tent on the local park! A women on my street, another dreaded boomer died recently of cancer, like me she was a single mum and she worked as a dinner lady so no "gold plated pension" for her or endless holidays, just a few short years of retirement spent with a terminal illness

I think the reason some of us find "spending the kids inheritance" crass, insensitive and not funny in the slightest, is that its used by parents who lacked empathy, didn't appreciate their own good fortune, and didn't think to extend help they could easily have given to their wider family, but instead chose to gloat about their prosperity and put it down to some imaginary financial acumen rather than having been born in the right place at the right time.
if people are assholes, it's because they're assholes, not because they're boomers. I've known boomers who were generous to a fault, and moved heaven and earth to help their children. I think they should feel free to spend the rest if what they have on themselves. Equally I've known people (boomers and not) who withheld help they could easily have given to family members and chose instead to buy yet another BTL property or new car - they're the ones who it really irks to hear talking about spending the kids inheritance - it's a phrase that's symptomatic of self-congratulatory shamelessness.

You are missing the point
The feck all was all people had to fecking live on!
Once they had paid 42%IT and 15% on their mortgage there was nothing left to live on.
Dad loses his job along with every other male from 18-60
No jobs anywhere in their small town
They are stuffed, no credit cards, no loans , no mortgage holidays to ride the storm.
Keys posted through the bank letter box

She's not scraping money. She has NONE. Zilch. Zero. With a 7yo child. In a G7 economy. In 2025.

TBH I don't care how many boomers were enjoying golf. I just find any lecture on wealth and easy life and "support for families" truly appalling against this background.

Just go and tell that mum to "bugger off", will you?

Agree. I bought a one bedroom flat for £60k in the 90's. My parents gave me the £6k deposit. They themselves had 2 houses- one to live in, one to rent that they bought in the '80's. That flat, which I sold for double a few years later gave me the deposit for a bigger house, which in turn has provided the deposit for all my subsequent homes.
All the sacrifices on skinny lattes in the world will not be enough for me to raise enough money for a 10% deposit for my 2 DC on the price of an average house nowadays. They will have to do it on their own, so any money I can spare will go to them. Probably in the form of inheritance from their grandparents.

No why would I?
It was grim then it's grim now

BTW in case you haven't noticed this either - "trespassers" on the rail and tube are everyday accidents now.
Not everyone has a rifle at home so...

When or if your dd becomes tge type who feels it's her right to inherit that usually triggers those who have worked long and hard for their time in the sun. Don't expect just do your thing. When my mum was always offering me money I refused, telling her to spend on herself as I myself had enough and I worked for mine.

You seem to think I'm saying everyone has it easy these days, Im not
But it was also shit back then for many people

And I wasn't swearing, shouting and insulting you.
I wonder why you do 🤔

Swearing?

Things were insanely cheap though. If there was nothing left it wasn't because of the cost of things. Beans were 3p. A car was £100 or less out the back of auto trader.

Yes you paid higher income tax. For a bit. My parents bought one house for less than £10k.

People lose their jobs every day. Unemployment is rife now, although I personally don't know anyone without a job.

I don't know anyone of my parents era that lost their job. I only know of one of my peers who has. I'm sure you know hundreds of boomers personally who lost theirs.

So you got help and now can’t give it which is the opposite to the OP?

Bang on.

No wait...I mean, no, you obviously just worked harder and were far more financially savvy....

😉

When I got my first mortgage it was 3 x the husband's salary and 0.5 x the wife's salary.

No mortgage for unmarried people.

Things were not insanely cheap, they were expensive
Food was 25% of salary.
Goods like cars/ cookers/ fridges tvs were insanely expensive compared to salaries
Everything was fixed or mended.

You really ought to do your research before coming out with that nonsense

It's not the kids inheritance it's the parents savings and they can spend it how they like and I'm not a boomer

I'm sure you know hundreds of boomers personally who lost theirs
So snide
Yes sadly our small town had a focal industry so caught up in the 3 million