We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

If the boomers have inherited from their families, it is not THEIR money - it is family money of which they are only custodians

What absolute tripe😂

This.

What people also don't realise is that the boom and bust era of the 80s was a time of irresponsible lending. Of course people could 'buy' a house. Banks weren't choosy about who they loaned the money to, because they were quids in, since all they had to do was repossess if the owner defaulted. And yes, it happened.

My sister, not a boomer but only 4 years into gen x was hit hard by negative equity.

In fact, I was the one who struck lucky by buying in 1997 when the market had stabilised, but even then, the unscrupulous lenders were still at it. People can't have failed to miss the endowment scandal. We were lucky in that respect, we only had a part repayment/part endowment and it paid out for us, but many people were faced with having got to what should have been the end of their mortgage and finding they still owed the whole lot because their full endowment hadn't paid out at all. I remember a woman at work in floods of tears when she found out about the failure of her plan.

But yeah, all boomers sat in the lap of luxury because houses were so cheap.

I can’t believe that some people on here would begrudge an elderly person getting dental implants?! I mean, DENTAL IMPLANTS!! Why?! What do you expect them to do? Have no teeth and have a liquid diet so as to give all their money to people younger than themselves??

This is how the ‘x% of feck all is feck all’ spectacularly misses the point which is that relative to income the high interest rates were murderous. Many people were at risk of losing their homes and indeed many did.

Don't despair! 15% on £20000 is 3000. 5% on £190000 is 9500.

Clearer now?

@Ubertomusic no. Can you explain where you got these figures from?

I'm confused because you also said in a previous post;
I didn’t have a shit time, my friends and I were mainly feral (middle class backgrounds) left outside whilst all the parents got drunk in the pub, everyone smoked in the house and car, let out to play until all hours and parents didnt know/care where we were..I could go on…we had a great time, but looking back, it was lazy, selfish parenting in the main

None of the stuff you are talking about sounds like middle class parenting to me.

The average wage in the 1980s was £6,000 pa. The average wage today is £36,000.

So that's half the annual pay for the 1980s homeowner on average wage, versus just under a third of the average wage of today's homeowner.
Not quite the 'Gotcha' you think it is.

I'm in that age demographic and I voted Remain, as did most people I know.

Same here.

Well, after reading these comments my message to the Boomers is... Spend, Spend, Spend! The entitlement on here is off the scale.

The boomers also voted for Brexit

It's true that older people (not just Boomers btw) are more likely to have voted for Brexit than other generations. But there aren't enough Boomers to have pushed the vote through against the wishes of everybody else put together.

Agreed

It is interesting to watch the debate as someone whose parents are refusing to actually look after the house around them. I have never tried to tell them what to do with their money other than that they need to put the heating on regularly to stop mould or that a leak needs to be fixed sooner rather than later. It is equally frustrating to watch people living as though they are poor as church mice and not doing the basics of maintenance as if it is a reason for you to love them more. We all need to accept that there are things money HAS to be spent on for upkeep (I'd class having teeth/implants to be able to eat as part of that) but I can see why the older gen also want to go on holiday - it's because the younger gen have been posting about how amazing it is for over a decade and forced a tourism economy across the world which has now become far more expensive than it was. You can't blame people who haven't travelled for now wanting to, but it isn't sustainable and is hugely expensive now compared to even 5 years ago. I wish my folks would spend a bit, you can't take it with you and they will be leaving a ruined house that will just mean paying inheritance tax on their savings.

There were no schemes to help like mortgage holidays to get you through a rough period.
Miss a payment= repossession
If people think today's times are grim they haven't lived through the 80s
Job losses were massive.
Whole communities based around one employer like Steel/ Ship works gone .
1000s in those communities with no jobs.

I think a fairly large part of it is generation too but I do know a few of people of my generation (X) with a similar attitude - not so much with inheritance but certainly in terms of helping bridge the gap between what gen X had with little/no parental help and what our DC have.

From my observations with my family/DH's it seems at first glance that those in the greatest/older silent generation were much more inclined to want to pass on what they could to help the younger generation (both whilst living and after death) but the younger silent/boomer generation were less so. Maybe because they had less hardship and saw young home ownership with only one breadwinner and a nice early retirement as the norm and within the reach of everyone if they just cut back a bit...Tiny sample to draw conclusions from though!

In many cases though it is probably just a bit of a rubbish joke. I think I've been guilty of it a couple of times but in reality nothing could be further from the truth - passing money on to our children (not just after death) as been a major motivator for us.

And me. And my bloke.

That's fine. But when my parents are on their 6th holiday in 12 months, and I haven't had a holiday in over a year and haven't had a holiday outside of the UK in 5, I don't laugh at the joke when my mother tells me "So, we're off skiing again". Do it, fine, don't gloat.

That’s so sad for everyone concerned.

It's irrelevant how many holidays they are having vs how many holidays you are having. It's their money!

Yes. Negative equity and repossessions were rife.

But when my parents are on their 6th holiday in 12 months, and I haven't had a holiday in over a year and haven't had a holiday outside of the UK in 5, I don't laugh at the joke when my mother tells me "So, we're off skiing again". Do it, fine, don't gloat.

In which case I find it very odd that your parents haven't treated you to a holiday. We are spending a lot of our hard earned savings on travel and other things, but we also give a lot to our adult DC.

Please remember though that many if not most of us have been through difficult Financial Times when we had a young family/huge mortgage etc, generally hiding that from our children where possible. So it's sad that adult DC begrudge their parents some luxury tax hike they are still fit enough to enjoy it

It's a bit sad though when your parents had free education, cheap housing and large inheritances from grand parents and havn't offered to help with house deposits, weddings or financial hard times. I have even been told I cost more than my sister when growing up...untrue.

I was seriously ill with an eating disorder when growing up which greatly hindered my ability to earn well so no doubt my dad resents me for that. So despite me being very ill for many years he holds it against me and wont help much financially. Mind you...he never helped my mum financially either when she was alive either so no idea why im surprisef.
He is quite happy to spoil his fiance though.

So yes...im hurt and probably a bitter brat but he probably wonders why I don't see him much.

Surprised*

Yes I agree. It's disgusting.
There are plenty of people who are paying out for cosmetic dentistry treatment including things like whitening and veneers or invisalign and who knows what. And yet an elderly person should give the money for the dental implants to an adult daughter who needs money for a house deposit. Absolutely not.