We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

Now that you mention it, I do think it's a bit weird.

Like they're bragging about being madcap and zany, or are proud of sticking it to their kids. When they're just spending their own money as they wish.

I don't know, maybe after all the saving and scrimping a lot of us had to do when we were young, they're a little embarrassed to spend on luxuries, so they make a joke out of it?

So you got an inheritance, but want others to make it on their own

If they have dementia they will need care their children will not be able to provide except at huge cost to their own mental health and well being. Would you want that for your children?

You know what, you’re right. Clearly even though you know nothing about me or my family you can see that I have zero integrity.

I’m off to do some much needed introspection and maybe some self flagellation. I’ll probably go spend some time alone on my parents’ yacht whilst they’re on safari. I’ll be inheriting it soon anyway.

You don't really need to watch TV to see street after street after street of houses and flats owned and let by boomers. We rent one and we will never be able to get a mortgage even on a tiny flat.

It's not rocket science really. Or social/media influence.

"It's the economy, stupid" :)

I very much doubt that if they live to a 100!

I’ve read threads about parents who sacrificed much for kids, helped out with grandkids etc and in their later lives got little attention from same kids, given the occasional visit.

Selfishness is not limited to a particular generation.

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe is addressing the OP

It. Is. Not. An. Inheritance. That's what's left after someone's dead.

And what on earth do you mean by "acknowledging the disparity". How would you like that to work?

I also note you still have not answered my point. ‘Burning money’ when there is deprivation all around you is despicable and beyond selfish - so why on earth would your father ‘deserve’ to do that regardless of whether he worked for the bloody NHS or not?!

And now he is mindlessly stomping around Africa not considering his the wider impact on the environment, and his impact on indigenous tribes there. Your lack of integrity is blatantly obvious and doesn’t need to be further highlighted by me. You have done a great job of that yourself.

Spread the wealth that they were so ‘lucky’ to have acquired? 🙄

Speaking as a boomer, I used to beg my parents to spend their savings on themselves when they retired. They didn’t have much. All my friends said the same, as far as I know. It was the normal thing to do.

I am 66 and am thinking of helping my kids as much as possible. With living in the US I need to think about if I get sick and need care. My husband had a stroke in May and I'm a two time breast cancer survivor so I need to save some and try and help them also.

So, apart from imposing your views on what people should do with their money you now want to suggest how they should holiday?

Yes that generation always put family first, my grandparents were fantastic

No one has to beg the standard boomer generally to spend do they? That’s what the thread is abour. The feckless not the frugal.

I think that the U.K. is unusual in that adult children expect money from their parents on an ongoing basis. In most cultures, it’s the other way around. We give them money, we buy them stuff, we take care of them.

OP, have you done anything for your parents?

How are they feckless?

I dont think it is generational, just personality. My boomer mum is incredibly generous with me and my kids and I think she should spend more on herself. Her silent Gen father was the same, frugal with himself, generous with us. Her silent mum was generous with herself and with others. I am Gen X and wouldnt spend all the kids inheritance either but think some spendy pleasures when you are old (if you can) are a good idea also!

My grandparents were fantastic too op. I don’t know what went so wrong when it came to the boomers. There does seem to be
a lack of values and moral code.

Some are definitely the exception and are decent people, but not the majority. They won’t be missed in the main. An outlier so to speak, a very damaging one.

Oh god enough already!! “Mindlessly stomping around Africa?!” Oh ffs! What a way to suck the joy out of life. I bet you’re a bundle of laughs at parties.

Get some sleep - sounds like you need it.

They spend money irresponsibly and do not care about others, family or not. A distinct lack of morals and the very definition of feckless.

You don’t like being called out do you.

I gave my 4 children a great inheritance while I am alive.. a fabulous work ethic. So much so that all of them earn 3-4 times the amount I do (I'm in a professional job). I started out in a council house and now live in a 5 bed detached with 3 reception rooms. Not one of my children need the money from the sale of my house maybe I shall leave it all to the cats!

Yet by some accounts the ‘standard’ Boomer is feckless.

Is the standard Millennial considered to be self-entitled?

No I don’t believe that’s true at all. I live abroad and many kids live at home or in an annex type place as part of the home, they will then inherit this house and pass to their children etc. The parents look after and provide what’s needed if needed to help them, the kids work or go to university, they help look after grandchildren and actively enjoy it, not begrudge it. The children look after the parents when they’re older and take care of them. Its a beautiful family situation full of love and support