We’re spending the kids inheritance

[Tuppenceabaggy]

Does anyone find it weird when parents/older people say this and so proudly?

Ive heard a few times people saying they sacrificed everything for their kids, now it’s their time…is this a bit selfish/odd? Children don’t ask to be born, do they.

Now i’m a parent, I just find my parents and some others way of doing things quite odd.

My dad worked in a good job and Dm was a sahm. I had a part time job since I was 14, if I wanted something, I had to pay for it (except clothes treats out of Christmas and birthday money) I paid for all my own driving lessons (I had a lot and it cost a fortune) I bought my own car and paid insurance etc, Dh and I got our mortgage ourselves with no help.

Now I have Dd, there’s not a lot of spare cash to go around, but I will have a savings account in the event of going to uni (if she chooses to) helping with driving lessons and first car and hopefully a little help with a first home (provided we can try our best to save for this)

I don’t want my parents money, i’m
happy to see them spend it on themselves and enjoy it a bit, but it’s just not how I see my life, everything I think about is for Dd first.

Is this just a generational thing?

Help me understand- What’s disgusting exactly about spending the money they’ve worked hard for and saved?

I think that poster's joking/being sardonic???

My ex stepdad and mum think they did this amazing job and supported us. I started work at 13 and had to give them a third of everything I earned. I was babysitting so got £10 and gave them £3. They kindly allowed me round down. Birthday and Christmas money from relatives would disappear.

mum even took money her mum gave her for my kid!! saying I would spend it on myself! My kid had told her I took all the money. He was 6. What I did was pay the money into his savings account and give him £5 to shop with as he didn’t need anything.

I paid for driving lessons, paid my way through uni. One Xmas I saved up by eating Tesco value pasta with cheap ketchup to buy ex stepdad a £20 CD way back in 1998 and he complained that I didn’t get him a birthday gift as his birthday is near Xmas.

they moved overseas and when they returned would fly into my local airport and then borrow my car to go see friends and family 150
miles away leaving me without a vehicle. They also sold my car when I was travelling one summer holiday during uni! Guess what. I didn’t get to see a penny of it!

they joked about enjoying their inheritance from their parents. Luckily they divorced. When my maternal GP died my DM had taken all the jewellery and she had already taken the money in savings put by into separate savings for her and my uncle. So they don’t owe me anything and I will not be helping my DM in old age. She can go into council care home when time comes.

Pretty well off if your mum didn't have to work. I only had one friend growing up who's mum was a housewife.

don’t feel I deserve anything and am not bothered either way
Not a well off family, fairly average

As I said, around me, v v few mums worked back then, v average suburban area, in my dads side of the family (v working class, v large family) none of them worked either

I don’t know why we keep getting these threads recently.

I am starting to get conspiratorial about it.

Is reeves testing the sentiment for changes to inheritance tax, gifting or ‘unearned’ income.

Or is this the new social war some wish to brew. Parents vs. Children

Plenty of younger people do not go on holidays abroad today - it was much cheaper for me to fly in the 90s & early 00s. Plenty of people do not eat out all the time or get weekly beauty treatments. Many drive second hard cars & shop for second hand goods. Many do their house DIY. Posters seem to criticise me stereotyping whilst partaking themselves.

Sorry fat fingers!

From my perspective you were a middle class family who were well off, with holidays abroad.

@Toddlerhelpplease123 i think it's the general economic doom & gloom

It’s well known that back then, many could survive fairly nicely on just one income, very different to now

Exactly this. Of course the temptation is to want to give your kids everything but they need to learn life skills and to earn their own money. Both my teens have weekend jobs to pay for treats. It’s amazing how much more careful they are about spending their own money on stuff they find need rather than mine!!

@TheAmusedQuail about 50% of mothers worked in 75. I don't think 50% of the population was well off..

I’m also not going crazy thinking I need to provide everything for my kid. Struggling to house ourselves as stuck in shared ownership. DS started his own business at 14. It’s his money and we say he needs to save a third and DH set a savings account up. I saved 10 a month since birth for DS told him not to waste it at 18 as he won’t be getting more.
my friend has been teaching for 25 years. Her DS is earning over a third what she is and only been out of uni 3 years!

We have finally got my in-laws to sort out their financial affairs as when FIL passes as he’s 10 years older my MIL has never paid a bill in her life. They are sitting on a nest egg and told them that care home will take it and we can’t afford to pay care home fees. Or the tax man. That galvanised them into action. They’ve now set things up in trust etc. They won’t spend the money on themselves even though they need a new kitchen etc but it’s also not inheritance for us as it’s theirs

We were pretty poor on my parents wages. Dad worked full time, mum worked nights in a factory. So not really that well known. No going down the pub that I remember. We couldn't afford a car. I'm not begging for pity. I had no awareness as a child that we were poor.

But both parents had to work. And it wasn't to support a lavish life. I remember hiding from the milkman when we couldn't pay the milk bill.

It is gloomy 😅 but my god the politics of envy won’t save us!

‘Burning’ through any money is absolutely disgusting, yes.

Can you not see around you?? That money could be given to the local foodbank, support a family in need, be passed on to younger generations to secure housing etc not wasted.

It is this VERY attitude that is the epitome of everything that is wrong with the boomer generation.

They don’t even realise how selfish it is to ‘burn’ through money! It doesn’t even dawn on them the wider need and context in society - it’s like a foreign language and they seem on the whole to be totally lacking in any social awareness or to consider anything beyond themselves.

i don't think it's driven by envy but anger. Young people are pissed off, I don't blame them.

This ^

Why does anything think they’re entitled to their parents’ money regardless of how easily the parents acquired it?

I’ve been telling our young adult Dc that any property we own is likely to be needed for our care in old age.

I’ll be happy to help if I can but right now I’m trying to debunk the expectation that they’ll get left much and so they need to get their own.

We weren’t well off. My dad working hard to pull himself up from his working class roots and did a degree later in life.
We went to our grandma’s caravan in Blackpool lr holidays or camping in Wales when young, then discovered Eurocamp and drove to France. We drank Rola cola as a treat and didn’t have a car until I was 6 ish, our first time abroad was a huge deal and when dad was doing better for tje first time in years. We were ok, but wouldn’t be classed as well off

Yes, I chuckled when I read about that tiny little thing called property ladder 😂🤦‍♀️

*Worked

And it’s not THEIR money if they inherited anything from either side of the family. It is family money, and should be treated as a legacy and not something to be ‘burnt through’!!! Jesus.

No wonder the country is in the shit with this attitude - this thread tells us everything we need to know right here about the state of our country.

The young are being carried out. I don’t expect their patience and endurance to last for much longer.

My mum inherited. Her mum inherited. Wealth has always been passed down in the family to the next generation

She's sold the house and she's in a council flat now, going on holiday every 3 months.

Which is fine, but they're waiting on getting another inheritance from my dad's side whilst knowing their own kids will never get a penny as theyre spending it all.

I can't understand the mindset.

Feckless and grabby is the mindset, and they are variations of the same attitude littered on here.