Child Invited To Birthday Party Parents Expected To Pay

[Warrior96]

Hi so I know a child who has been invited to a birthday party, the child is 5. All the kids invited to the birthday party are 5-6 years old so parents will be expected to stay. The invitation asks the parents to pay for themselves. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a bit cheeky?

Not in a million years would I leave my 5 year old at a soft play party. Not unless I had an arrangement with a parent friend who was going to stay and look out for my child. I am stunned at those who would drop and run at a soft play we have been told is large. If your child gets hurt, sick, upset, lost, taken, who's responsible for that? The party parent who is trying to run the party or one of the other parents who are also looking after their own child? Actually, imagine if all parents dropped and ran? Potentially you could have 1/2/3 adults only. Insane!!
Staying at parties and supervising your own child is called parenting and I am happy to do it and happy to pay for myself. I actually hate soft play but no way on earth would I leave my child there.

It's your choice whether you stay or go, so YABU

Maybe they can’t afford it but would like a get together. Pay and go or don’t if you don’t want to pay which is fair enough.

did they specifically say parents must stay? we’ve hosted and attended parties for that age group and all were drop off

I started with YANBU but then read its to pay for the parents to get access so your being unreasonable. I personally paid for my child’s friends parents but that cost £60 (£4 per adult) but then the party on top which was £350 so some people might not be able to stretch to the adults. Just pay and move on

But the school is safeguarded with teachers trained and payed to look after a group of kids, a party at a soft play is completely different.

Not bothered about the money but who is being paid here? Offsetting the cost of the venue?

Oh really! Any venue which accepts children have stringent safeguarding in place but usually it's people , other mums, friends, who are organising these parties with plenty of adults around. And everyone knows never to take a child into the toilet 1to21 dont' they??

I mean, I'd recognise some of them. There's probably about 15 that have either been over for playdates, or I socialise a bit with the parents, or I know the kids and parents enough to say hello at drop-off/pickup. But there are 60 kids in his year. I'm at the school gates for about 45 seconds in the morning to give him a quick hug and make sure he goes in the door, and maybe 2 or 3 minutes waiting in the afternoon for him to come out. In those short snippets of time I haven't memorised the faces of all the other kids that are walking by with their parents 🤷🏼‍♀️

It is if they then encourage the uninvited child to join in with the food and come over at the end expecting a party bag. I’ve had this happen- extremely awkward as I only do party bags for the invited guests, certainly not uninvited siblings where the parent never even let me know they were bringing them. Hugely respected the parents who did keep them entirely separate from the party.

I miss the 1990s!

You are 100% correct that the children behave better, spot on.

I love having my son’s friends over after school for a play and dinner without their parents, they are so much better behaved. Desperate for parties to start being drop off!

I’m genuinely sick of parties!

Here are the problems:

• Years ago, a few friends were collected after school by the hosting parent, with a few family members/friends to help. They’d play a few games, eat some simple party food & cake. All get collected at the end. They’d be school aged, overall well behaved, etc.
• Nowadays, I think parents daren’t host at home because they aren’t trusted to just have the children/don’t trust how the children will behave/don’t really have the space, time, money or inclination to also squash all the parents and uninvited siblings in, who you then feel obliged to offer drinks etc to.
• So then people turn to pricey venues. Let’s be honest, these are increasing in price by the month it feels like! I recently received a quote for a magician for 40 mins for £240! Most soft plays/gym/climbing are around £250 or more. This then makes the host far more stressed about total numbers of guests, but also some of these venues are harder to drop off at (I agree that soft places feel less safe than a private party), and some parents genuinely have nobody to leave siblings with. I think a lot of people are genuinely confused about who’s responsibility it is to pay for what.
• I believe some venues are charging for adults to discourage both adults staying, I think they ideally want 1 adult per 1 invited guest, which is easier for some families than others. Let’s be honest, these venues make enough money out of the parties, it’s not for the adults, who will be likely paying almost a fiver for a horrible tea/coffee anyway!
• Personally, I’m hoping I can get away with either 5 friends to the house or a drop off private venue party (in Sept start of Year 2), but I genuinely think whatever I suggest someone will have a problem with it 😂

It’s all got too complicated and expensive hasn’t it really?! 😅