Child Invited To Birthday Party Parents Expected To Pay

[Warrior96]

Hi so I know a child who has been invited to a birthday party, the child is 5. All the kids invited to the birthday party are 5-6 years old so parents will be expected to stay. The invitation asks the parents to pay for themselves. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a bit cheeky?

Oh I was definitely amused, it was quite funny when I had a good look at her and thought hmmm who the hell are you?! 😂 It did mean that one of our actual party goers was still happily running round soft play too 🙈

Paying a younger kid into a public area is COMPLETELY normal.

If you want a PRIVATE party then privately hire somewhere.

2 kids. Over 20 soft play parties. Definitely the significant of minority parents who stay. You don’t need to keep track of them. It’s soft play. Go forth and play!

Have they asked the parents to stay? at that age i would say it’s drop off unless your child wants you to stay in which case you pay I had my daughters 6th birthday (oldest in class so everyone else 5) at a trampoline park, no parents stayed.

What sort of party is it? Normally people leave 5or 6 year olds by themselves.

Erm because the child is 5? Because other parents you probably barely know are usually ridiculously lax with supervision and probably don’t even know her kid’s face let alone name? Because soft plays are often open to the public at the same time and you have no idea who else is going to be there? Because the 5 year old might need the loo and need someone to help him with the lock depending on the venue’s facilities? Or maybe she just loves her kid and doesn’t want him being scared or alone or getting hurt without her there at such a young age?

Is it really helicopter parenting to not leave your kids with strangers just because it’s a party? I’d happily pay - at my kids parties, I offer parents the choice of drop/stay and refreshments if they wish to stay - I’m always surprised by those who are happy to leave (and then don’t bother to answer their phone when there’s an issue with the child!).

When they’re 5-6 parents tend to stay, especially if in a public place, to help supervise.

But surely parents won’t have to pay if the child is joining a pre-paid party? They won’t be wanting to actually go on the soft play, only watch.

It’s usual practice at many parties. The party package is certain amount of children plus 2 adults free and any extra adults are not free. Simple.
Ime if you trust host parents and that they will cope with the amount of children at the party - you drop and run, if you are not sure that your particular child will cope - you pay to go in. You might share this cost with another parents so one of you will be looking for 2 children at this party and another one - at another party ( or any other favour)

There's a notorious drop and go parent in our class. At every party, the girl has started crying and asking for her mummy before the official end time and has gone missing a few times. It was luckily nothing sinister but caused by the chaos in a public area full of strangers while the hosts were distracted with other guests. There's usually a short panic while someone tries to locate the girl and it turns out she just wandered off or was taken to the loo by another parent. There have also been parties with a change of location that involved 10mins driving and someone else had to transport the girl and her sibling along, with or without the necessary car seats.

So stressful for the host and the child!

Yeah that's ridiculous. Cheapskates.

This. Parents have been "paid for" at most parties we've been to - either free or the hosts have paid - right down to providing trampoline socks at a trampoline party. And if the hosts are rolling in it, I would say it's bad form to make parents pay. But not everyone is well off enough to be able to pay more for parents to attend and, while you could say they should just do a small party at home or similar, the birthday child probably wanted the venue. The most important thing is that the birthday child and their friends have a wonderful time (and the children are safe) so this is one thing I'd just suck up and pay as a parent and attend so I can be sure my child is properly supervised. I certainly wouldn't leave them on their own somewhere unsuitable just to make a point.

I was looking into a party venue for one of my kids when they were younger. One venue charged parents to stay. Would never have dreamed of making them pay. I chose a different venue in the end as it just added another layer of admin of finding out which parents were dropping off and which were staying etc.

I might be being silly, but I actually don't think there's a problem with asking parents to pay for themselves. One key reason that I can think of is price - it will probably get really expensive not only paying for children, but also parents. Some people might be able to afford that, but not everyone can!

What, you wish everyone charged you to attend their kid’s party?

There’s somewhere near me called Stockeld Park that is FABULOUS but charges parents about £14 each entry. So if me and DH go we spend £28 to sit in the cafe while kids play. I wouldn’t mind paying a couple of quid to get in but the same price as a child makes me seeth (it is a very good day out though)

HOWEVER if someone books a party there each child who’s invited gets a free parent entry. Which is fair IMO.

Wouldn't bother me, kids parties are expensive

If you have an issue, don't go?

Urghhh you've reminded me of an old job. I used to work at a soft play inside a zoo. Party options were private hire of the play area after the zoo closed ( I would be last out and have to lock the main gate in the pitch black convinced I was about to be eaten by the lions) and during the day a party room with food with access to the zoo and play area.

For the daytime parties there was a set amount of free adult places per so many children. It was clearly explained when taking deposits and printed on the paperwork.

The amount of times I had to tell the party parent they had a balance of £££ for dozens of extra siblings and parents was absurd. I didn't get paid enough to deal with that.

A soft play in a zoo! Surely this is just another form of a zoo 😂 probably much less civilised than the animals outside?

@JandamiHash I'm pretty sure we had more poop and pee to clear up than the zoo keepers.

Same here too.

I would pay to supervise my child in soft play because some kids go crazy in there and if mine gets hurt I want to be there for them.

As long as the parent has made it clear in advance, I don’t see what the problem is. It’s different if you accept the invite then get told on the door but you either accept and pay or decline. No big deal.

It blows my mind that there are parents that would leave their 5-6 year old at a soft play party and go!!!!

Soft play is full of other customers, not always 100% secure and not always well staffed. Wow!

You’ve just reminded me of the horror when someone dropped their son and he puked everywhere within about 15 minutes. I called his mum to pick him up and she didn’t answer. I kept calling while trying to look after the rest of the kids and set up the lunchboxes. She eventually answered and said “he does that sometimes” (puke) and refused to collect. Nightmare! He sat in the corner of the room looking pale with a bowl provided by the venue and went on to be sick two more times. I wasn’t happy when she turned up at normal time to collect. Poor kid.

I'd be tempted to rsvp "You are kidding, right?"

I've never experienced a party where parents were expected to stay, even for four or five year olds.

The idea sounds bonkers. What are you supposed to do with your other children?