To ask my pharmacist to use my actual title on my medicine

[Everythingisnumbersnow]

decided to edit this a bit for clarity - I'm a Ms, my pharmacist keeps writing Miss on the labels (as part of a wider pattern of annoying behaviour). Will I look mad if I say please call me Ms on my labels?

(The prescriptions all say Ms)

What do you think they’re doing with that information? Putting it in a spreadsheet? Nobody cares if you’re married or not.

In the grand scheme of things how/why does this affect you? The pharmacy is busy - you're getting the correct medication - why the fuss?

OP I am.a community pharmacist and was also raised by a feminist mother. You have every right to be addressed as Ms. Men don't have to disclose whether they are married why should we.

That's the sound of the point whooshing over your head.

The way some posters on this thread think perhaps you shouldn't accept your pay til it's corrected?😂😂

I’m usually pretty open- minded and often find myself saying “hmmm, that’s a good point” when I’ve had a hot take on an AIBU question that’s been challenged by a response that made me rethink. But I have actually read this whole thread and I haven’t come across one single response that makes me rethink my hot take YABU. I’m American, though have lived in the U.K. almost 25 years, during which time I’ve gotten (yes, that word that makes so many teeth itch!) married and had two kids here in the interim. I’m always addressed as Mrs DH’s-surname when I’m doing stuff for home, kids’ schools etc. People assume I’m Mrs regardless of whether I’ve told them. But I also use my maiden name at work, and sometimes I even get addressed as Mrs maiden-name. COULD NOT CARE LESS.

It’s always a little strange at first when I go back home to the US, because there the default for any woman, married, single, divorced, widowed, whatever is Ms - for example, newspapers like the NY Times almost always title a woman Ms unless she’s the First Lady. But again, I just shrug, COULD NOT CARE LESS. It would never occur to me to tell someone to address me as Mrs, even though I have achieved that higher state of being called marriage. As my Southern daddy used to say, “you can call me anything you like, just don’t call me late for supper!”

The OP is entitled to her opinion on her title and to politely request that the pharmacy change their records to the title/honorific she prefers (which, let’s be absolutely clear, IS NOT HER NAME and is not a key piece of information the pharmacy needs to match to be sure the prescription is properly dispensed to her), but I’m sorry, i do think SIBU to equate a minor admin error with an affront to her dignity.

Maybe their system doesn’t have Ms!

This was a private prescription.

still peanuts dispensing fees.
Patient pays for the price of drug and a tiny fee to dispense it for a private prescription. not really a money maker. Community pharmacists are making a huge loss on nhs prescriptions (which make up 99.9% of work) with all the drugs that are in short supply and paying above what the prescription pricing authority pay them back for it - the tarrif is based on the cheapest brand of drugs available and if you can't get hold of it then the pharmacy pays for the cost difference. Why do you think a lot of them are closing down?

You're conflating different issues. There's no reason for a pharmacist to sell a drug on a private prescription at a loss.

For me, as long as I'm getting the correct medical treatment it's just a bit of an eye-roll. When I underwent emergency surgery for an ectopic a while back, they'd put Mrs ** on all of my paperwork, bands etc.
Laughed about it with my husband when I got home but no big deal - all of my other details were correct.

We had a period when DS meds had Miss on, despite prescriptions having Mr. It's based on some ancient NHS system that doesn't seem to update or correct. We kept contacting the GP to get it corrected too.

It really isn't the fault of the pharmacist. It's actually based on the details with your NHS number, irrespective of whether it's a private prescription.

Why does it matter?! Because women have suffered hundreds of years being labelled by marital status (when men don't) and some of us want that to stop. It's fine if you don't care - that's your choice. But for those of us that do care, please respect our choice too! Despite being married, I have never been a Mrs. I was Ms, and now I'm Dr. I refuse to be labelled by my marital status (especially when my husband has never had to deal with this nonsense, and has merrily been Mr all his life!).

This!

@surreygirl1987 Totallty agree with you - I'm a married Ms MyFamilyName. But about 99% of the female population disagree so it's always going to be a uphill struggle unfortunately.

Tell them politely the 1st time “It is actually Ms, could you make sure you have it correct on your system please?” Then if it keeps happening be firmer.

Of course it matters, it’s your name, I hate people that don’t try to get names correct. My own Dad used to pronounce names incorrectly and I’m convinced now he’s passed away that it was on purpose like some sort of weird control thing. He was an intelligent man, how can you not hear the way a name is pronounced? I understand some are more difficult but Ms / Miss is not difficult. Pharmacists don’t work for free, they’re providing a service and I think it’s only right they give a level of customer service.

@Weddingbells6 unfortunately if you do own your own pharmacy, it is one of the few professions where you are expected to provide advice for free. Of course we have professional indeminity insurance, many pharmacists are paid hourly. However if you work for yourself in your own pharmacy, it does suck at times. However in the greater scheme of things sometimes providing that free advice can be incredibly rewarding so hey ho.

No - 1) OP would be being misgendered, 2) appropriateness of medication could be tied in to OP's sex. Medically relevant

I work in pharmacy, what's on your records with us is exactly on records at gp - they are linked. You need to change with gp and then we can update our records otherwise we can't.

But the debate is not about the accuracy of the medicine so point 2 does not apply.

And point 1 - it’s just a title is the argument. So why is “Miss” not a big deal but “Mr” is if all other details are correct?

Hey @Everythingisnumbersnow - I work with system integration for private clients and quite often the systems don’t talk nicely to each other and the options vary as to what system a and b will do.

Many of the systems I use are written and coded by Americans and don’t have the Ms option.

many of the systems that don’t have the Ms option will use formatting so they are ‘moved over’ to Miss.

im sure it’s not done in purpose to spite you. Its just a system or system user issue.

Hope you find relief soon!

WTAF ! Just ask them to change it if it bothers you that much

It’s weird US systems don’t have Ms as I thought that’s where the term first started.

All my US colleagues were Ms by default, at least in speech in all-hands calls. In documentation, they were usually just firstname surname, and if was some sort of article, they'd usually just be referred to as surname after the first mention. So I would have expected more systems to include as an option.

Anyway. I asked my pharmacy. They said no, we can't and pointed me at my GP. That's NHS, not private, though. I think I had to get a hospital department to update it separately, too.

What I appear to be unable to change is pharmacy messages to firstname Middle-age, so I get a string of texts to say Dear Emma Jane, we've received your prescription. Emma Jane, we have fulfilled part of your prescription (I don't actually care till it's all there.) They say this is down to my NHS documentation, but my GP and various hospital departments manage to address me as just Emma, so I'm not sure why the pharmacy can't manage it.

I would check with whoever gives the private prescription to make sure they're using Ms. Once that's confirmed/resolved, I'd be talking to the pharmacist again. If they didn't change, I would definitely consider moving (because I can do that without inconveniencing myself, as there's more than one pharmacy close by. I probably don't care enough if I had to travel further I'd change.)

Which reminds me, credit card...

Ms for a woman, Mrs. for a married woman. Which one are you?