What do you do when your child won't take no for an answer?

[bluebane]

My 7yo is literally trying to wear me down by asking me the same thing on repeat until she gets it.
She does this a lot and I'm losing my mind.
It can be something I've said no to or something she wants immediately and will not stop keeping on until she gets.

I say once, 'the answer is no', and then ignore every subsequent attempt to discuss it. If they really start asking why I'm ignoring them I might say again, 'I've already given you my answer', but I won't get drawn into it. I will try and distract them with something else if I can though.

If you give in then she will continue to do it. My son knows how stubborn I am so if I said no he wouldn’t bother asking again as he knew I wouldn’t change my mind. I think asking for things in that way is horrible behaviour to be honest, reminds me of veruica salt, very spoilt

The problem is you have set an example of being worn down into saying yes so of course she keeps on.

eitjer say yes or ignore it

Ignore it. Have you given in before? If so, that's why she's persisting - she's learned it works.

I get that it's annoying but it's just what children do - you have to be the parent and know what's best for them. Worse when they're teenagers and can form logical arguments!

Keep saying no. Then take something away eg toy if they don’t stop going in about it.

Not ok to agress against you because you say no. Harassment incurs loss of privileges, imho.

I have not given in but I am running out of things to take away

I used to give consequences for repeated badgering still do for ds12 so for example he wants robux I say no he persists I say no and warn him to stop he keeps on I remove his tablet so he can't even PLAY the game he persists I ask him how long he wants to lose the tablet for one hour or 24?

He stops

You just say firmly, "no, you've asked me once and I've said no. You need to stop asking now."

Well if you ever want to get them to do something offer bribes. Like if you get in the car I’ll give you a chocolate biscuit.

It's learnt behaviour it seems your DC has learnt to keep asking as you will give in eventually. As pp said refuse to answer any further requests and then the message will sink in. Alternatively say if you ask that question again there will be a consequence ie, reduce pocket money each time the question is repeated or not going to somewhere they enjoy

Difficult. Have a chat about harassment being unkind. And don’t give in.

Exactly, you are very clear and don't discuss further. If she continues I'd say 'I know you really want it, it's really hard when you can't have exactly what you want.' I sometimes mention something I remember wanting and have a chat about these things in general etc.
Do not give in and personally I wouldn't give consequences either.

As per a previous poster, I would say I’ve already given the answer. If it persists, I would then say if she keeps asking I would instead consider taking away or restricting something eg a privilege such as screen time.

Distract? During covid I had real bad behaviour from my middle one so we used to force him on a walk the more he moaned the longer we walked he learned we would go for a short (ish) walk daily if he was good and take hours if he was trouble

And then they won’t do anything without a bribe…

I distinctly remember being very small and my brother and I yelling from the top of the stairs on our PJs that we were hungry. ONE time when my dad was pissed he gave us a bag of hula hoops. We carried that shit on for LITERALLY YEARS afterwards.

I expect if they are being particularly insistent they might need to spend a bit of time in their room thinking about their behaviour.

I always said ‘No, and that’s the end of it’ . And didn’t engage further. Ignore ignore ignore.

She is probably attention seeking as much as wheedling.

After 2-3 times I usually say something like "you've already had an answer, you need to accept it and stop asking or X consequence"

Or if it's something they want now and I've said next week, then "I've agreed to next week but if you keep asking I'm going to change my answer to no"

Give her a chore to do, I suggest the vacuuming to drown her out.

That's got to be a joke. Never had to bribe my kids to get in the car. You tell them as a parent. There are certain things you have to tell them to do
I agree with most others OP. You say no then ignore. It's really wearing but just try and tune out any whining.

When DD was that age, I would eventually lose my temper. IMO it’s important to show children the consequences of unwelcome behaviour. That can sometimes include parents getting cross.

I would tell her on the second time of asking that she was annoying the hell out of me repeating it when she already had a No. As a result if she continues to do this then my stock reply will be no the next time she wants something. So basically: ask nicely for something and I will consider it; repeatedly asking is not just a no but an automatic no for the next thing.

I have low tolerance for nagging and whining and won't put up with it. I never give in to strategies like this. I also think it's important that children are directed to look at their behaviour and how it affects other people. It's natural that they don't look at something from anyone's perspective but their own but they do need to learn to consider this. They matter, but so do other people!

Yes agree. No need to punish or give consequences. It is good advice to recognise and acknowledge her feelings while making it clear that you won't be swayed by these. If you haven't already given an explanation as to why you've said no, I would offer that as well, while making it clear that the issue isn't up for negotiation.