I probably am being unreasonable but i need to vent.....

[smileitlightsupyourface]

I have an "friend" who is on benefits. She receives universal credit, PIP ( for MS) and has a car on the motability scheme. I know she has MS and has bad days but she lives a very active life...goes to the gym regularly, goes on active days out with the children each week and has a very active social life. This friend has literally never ever worked a job. She had kids young and has always been on benefits. Her dc have expensive hobbies such as horse riding and golf and are also season ticket holders at a premiership football club. She has none of the dc fathers on the scene and her family don't have much to do with them. She is constantly posting pictures on social media of her dc doing their hobbies and expensive days out. They are currently on a very expensive long haul holiday for half term. Its really starting to grate on me that she doesn't work and never has but lives this type of lifestyle while i work full time and as well as being constantly knackered i would struggle to afford her lifestyle. I know im being unreasonable but she seems very tone deaf when posting all this stuff on social media when so many are struggling to pay bills. I really don't want to be bitter but its winding me up!

Of course they’re benefits. You don’t think there’s a big bank account labelled Pension Money that’s made up of all the money your retired gran and her generation paid in NI contributions, do you?

Just to show how mental this post is, my £100 month UC (the only benefit I am entitled to other than £400 PIP) has just been taken away because DP had a small pay rise that has taken him about £200 a year above minimum wage.

Fuck the system, and fuck everyone who makes false claims on forums like this, about how us disabled people are raking it in. I now have to figure out what I can do to survive on £400 a month, when most of my days are spent either in agony or unconscious after multiple syncope episodes a day.

Anyone got one of those apparently really easy to get, work from home, flexible jobs with a nice income that will pay my bills and put up with me fainting and shouting in pain a bit? No? Didn't think so!

No, but as someone who will probably work for 45 years paying full tax and NI to the state, I don't see a state pension as a benefit. I see it as a thank you for your contribution to society, and I don't begrudge those who can't work from getting it either. It isn't a benefit, it's what we contribute so we don't have to work when we are 75.

This says all.

They're legally defined as benefits now, but I did say "pensions and associated benefits". Either way, they cost the country vastly more than benefits such as the ones I listed.

Yes. You don't fund your own pension. You fund the pensions of those who went before you. By the age of 70 the average pensioner will be be taking out more than they've ever paid in and most pensioners are net recipients.

How you ‘see it’ as and what it actually is are two different things. Benefit scroungers are always ‘others’ eh? Always undeserving and not Like you.

Pensions are benefits. And you better be praying that genZ are going to be happy to pay your’s.

MS is a progressive condition that will get worse. She's probably trying to make the most of the 'good days' she has before she ends up in a wheelchair. You don't see her in her private life offline, and nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. She may bear more of a cross than you think.

The arrogance of those on here (besides OP, I mean) who are proclaiming OP's friend should have worked when she was 'healthy'.

Unless you are familiar with every detail of a person's medical record YOU DO NOT KNOW IF THEY ARE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO WORK. She could have been struggling in any number of ways before she was awarded PIP and motability. And frankly I doubt anyone with a longterm health condition is going to share every detail of their health with clueless judgemental people like OP or those agreeing with her.

At least, as others have pointed out, the tone of this thread is mostly supportive of OP's friend and others with longterm conditions, and that's heartening. But I'm beginning to suspect some of the 'where's your wheelchair, then?' brigade have found their way on to this thread. Who cares about facts, or the suffering of others, if there's a chance to benefit bash, eh?

Indeed. 40% of working people are claiming UC to top up their low wages.

Sounds like you're jealous of someone with epilepsy - where you have seizures, pass out, often can't drive, have a massively restricted life and literally can't control your body and could die - who has two SEN children.

WELL DONE.

@MurdoMunro Benefit scroungers are always ‘others’ eh? Always undeserving and not Like you.

Wtf are you on about? You find a comment of mine that even hints that I think people on benefits are scroungers.

Omg what do you think a disabled person's life should look like? You really don't have a clue. Most disabled people would swap everything to be healthy again.
Aa a friend, have you ever been there for her bad days? Have you talked with her about her fears for the future? I'm guessing you are not that friend.

The state pension really is a benefit and it takes up more than half of the DWP budget (the clue's in the name - the Department for Work and PENSIONS). You really need to reframe the way you think about the state pension. As PPs have pointed out, the NI contributions (which are just another tax) being deducted from the salaries of the current working population are paying for the pensions of current pensioners - not being ring-fenced for the future payment of their own SP. With an ever-shrinking working population and an ever-growing retired population (due to people generally being healthier and living longer), it's predicted that the SP won't even exist by the time a now 20yr old reaches national retirement age - where will their "thank you" be for working 45+ years?

The inference is clear. Pensions not a benefit because you have contributed and deserve it. So benefits are for people who do not contribute ergo don’t deserve. I see you.

Lol, what a load of drivel and you've totally taken my comment out of context. Just because someone is on benefits doesn't mean they have never, or will never contribute to the state.

Yes, you are right.

Yes, you are right and I do need to reframe the way I think about the state pension as AngelicKaty correctly stated.

A ‘thank you’ 🤣🤣🤣

You lose 300 quid of your pip which is £737 ish on highest rate. Maybe each absent father actually pays maintenance

That poster has already acknowledged that she'll be reframing her thinking. Few posters are decent enough to do that.

In the real world lots of people secretly feel like the OP - why do you think we've had so many years of the tories?

And even though I disagree with the OP, I understand the bitterness when you do everything 'right' and are still struggling.

However, the real problem is that wages have fallen out of keeping with the cost of living in this country. Anyone working full time should be able to find a modest lifestyle free from acute worries about money IMO (obviously there are variables). The anger is best focused on financial greed and poor politics than people on benefits though.

When my DC were tiny and I became a homeless mother of two following an incident of domestic violence, I carried on working full time, bought a house and never claimed benefits other than CB. I would have undoubtedly been better off day to day by giving up work and claiming. My friends on benefits were able to afford to meet up for coffee while I couldn't even afford to feed myself. The reason I didn't resent this was because I had the sense to realise I had something they didn't at that time - a pathway to a better future.

When the kids grow up and the benefits stop, where are you left?

20 years later I own my home, have a great career and don't worry about money. One of my friends started working when her child started secondary school and she didn't need to worry about childcare for work. She's better off than she was but will never be 'well off'. Another friend whose physical and mental health is very poor now and whose confidence is on the floor won't likely work again and lives a hand-to-mouth existence on benefits (including PIP). She has no way of improving her life and slid further into poverty once her DC grew up, moved out and the benefits stopped. She's a lovely person living a miserable life. If life were fair she'd be a millionaire, but it isn't.

So FF a few years OP. Your "friend's" DC will grow up. All the child-related payments will stop. She could easily end up like my friend if her MS deteriorates as might be expected. Whereas you could be sitting pretty by that time. You have a future with lots of possibilities and promise. Hers are far more limited. Don't resent that. Resent the fact that we live in a low wage, high cost society in one of the richest countries in the world where wealth could definitely be spread more equally.

Do you want MS yourself OP? I doubt it. Health is EVERYTHING!! Your " friend " is probably grabbing life by the horns right now. Good on her too!!

Oh and block your " friend" if she winds you up so!

😂