To not give my teen DD medication

[Foxjonessssss]

My 15 yr old DD has ASD and OCD, both diagnosed by CAMHS who she is under. She is brilliant in every way and manages so well. She is in grammar school doing really well academically but struggles in other ways. The school are great and really help her.

She has had therapy via CAMHS and through school but still struggles with intrusive thoughts.

CAMHS consultant has said it’s now time to start medication. I have really wanted to avoid this for her. I don’t want her on medication that has side effects and she may be reliant on. DD doesn’t mind either way.

I just think she has done so well with everything without medication I wish she didn’t need it ☹️

AIBU if I don’t accept the medication for her?

😂Embarrassing to say that using stigma is wrong and the labels themselves are the stigma. The labels literally mean 'this person is abnormal'. I do not agree in labelling people as abnormal which is what people do the minute you label someone. To label is to stigmatise. is my point. No labels are needed is my point.

You misunderstood my point.

if unsure about what autism is, this link has some general info spectrumcentre.co.za/what-is-autism/

Sertraline is very effective for OCD

If you haven’t already researched Pans and pandas as the cause of the OCD then it is worth doing so as searching for the root cause could potentially help rid her of it. You haven’t said what medication and if it will cure the OCD. It must be a very hard thing to live with and you would want to medications offered to be the most effective ones for this.

My ds had sertraline and another med when he was 13. He also does well academically but he was hating life.

He chose to take them till he was 16, no side effects and now he is old enough to have other strategies for coping.

He is happy and I have no regrets.

I have OCD. Medication saved my life. If your DD needs it, she needs it. Medicines like diazepam are addictive; that's not the sort of medication your DD is being offered.
There are effects of stopping and starting Antidepressants (eg sertraline) and Antipsychotics but its not an addiction, you don't become reliant on them (apart from to make you feel well), you don't need to take more and more to get the same effect. You take a prescribed dose and increase/decrease gently depending on how well they are managing your symptoms. They don't act immediately and need time to work. Best time to start would be during a school holiday in case there are side effects like sickness/dizziness. Just a note that Fluoxetine has been shown in studies to be more effective for those with OCD, as opposed to Sertraline. It worked better for me. You might want to query this alternative with your healthcare provider if OCD is your DD's main concern, and get their advice. Do your own research and write down a list of questions/concerns for your healthcare provider.

Source: my own, long mental health journey. I am not a professional. Discuss everything with your healthcare provider.

A well-informed, sensible post @catlover123456789

I would advise your daughter to look into the loss of sexual function which is a huge problem with medication. Being numb to your feelings is one thing which many aim to achieve through meds but this impacting on your sexual function and being unable to feel pleasure sexually is a huge issue and can lead to mental health issues and it is well known side effect of the medication.

Your daughter needs to be informed about all the meds and the impact before making a decision.

OP I have huge sympathy, I was where you are 18 months ago, before my DD (who was then 15) became even more unwell. She limped through Y11 without medication, managed GCSEs but then had a bit of a breakdown, dropped out of A Levels and became suicidal.
Medication has helped her enormously, she has been on sertraline for about 3 months and says her low mood has largely resolved. Unfortunately she is left with severe social anxiety so we aren't sure what next steps look like yet, but at least there will be next steps.
For us, medication has been very beneficial, but for others it may not be necessary. I wish it hadn't been for us but I am enormously grateful that something has worked.
I totally disagree with people suggesting you don't have your DD's interests at heart or that you are neglectful (!) you are just trying to do what is best - and it's really hard. I wish you and your DD all the very best of luck with this, I hope you both feel better soon!

But with ASD comes depression and anxiety and they do get treatment.

OP mentioned intrusive thoughts/ do you need suicidal and self harm spelt out for you?

no need to be a smart Alec I’m sure CAMHS know what they are doing.

That is one potential side effect but the op's dd is 15, I don't think her sex life is top priority right now. Side effects are very specific to each person. I threw up my first and only dose of duloxetine, other people take it every day without issue. Being aware of potential side effects is important but you won't know what side effects you'll have until you try.

I would discuss this with her see how she feels

I think you're right to be reticent
It's difficult either way
Psychiatry prescribes meds. That's basically what it does.
Therapy with camhs will be a particular type of therapy
There are other types of therapy
Hard one. Long term sertraline use comes with risks. It's not the only way. Works for some.

My DD is autistic and has anxiety and OCD. Sertraline has helped her with a relatively low dose. Her anxiety has been reduced but her.OCD not so much… but she is back in school and has good days now. Not sure how to target the OCD long term. Wondering if a higher dose of medication might be the answer but her Dad refuses to let her try this as he is anti meds and was reluctant to let her try the low dose. It is frustrating as seeing struggling so much is hard. Best of luck.

if i weren’t medicated, i would not function.
you just let your dd make this choice for herself. and consider how you would feel were this pain medication for a broken leg, or insulin for diabetes? mental health problems are just as serious and just as debilitating. sometimes, like physical conditions, they require medication.
what i would say though is to encourage your dd to do her own research on her symptoms and what medications might help her, as camhs often default to certain cheap and easily obtained antidepressants that are not always very helpful. they tend to have a cookie cutter approach to mental health treatment in the nhs and unless you advocate for yourself, you will be given the one size fits all treatment.

but basically you really have to let your dd decide this for herself. she is old enough and denying her of this choice will affect her in a big way.

to struggle on without medication can completely derail a person’s life. i know this because i have lived it. let your dd make her own way forward in this and please, please support her in every way you can.

It's her decision. I don't understand why you worry about becoming dependent on drugs. It's worth a try to help with the intrusive thoughts, honestly and they are not addictive.

It is worth noting that my DS tried two drugs under CAMHS. One made the intrusive thoughts far worse and the other prevented him sleeping so he got psychosis from lack of sleep. He wasn't permanently affected by either drug but it's definitely something to look out for!

hello! i have severe ocd (i’m also autistic with anxiety) and the only things that have ever helped my ocd are antipsychotics (specifically risperidone and quetiapine). these medications pulled me back from an extremely dangerous place, and i do not know what i would have done without them. i would definitely suggest researching them and asking your dd’s doctor/prescriber about them. they’re also brilliant for anxiety! i was prescribed risperidone for panic attacks whilst inpatient. it was the only medication that ever even touched my anxiety.

oh and i used to be sertraline. i was on sertraline for about seven years. it never helped my anxiety at all, but i’m so glad it’s helping your dd’s. l

hope some of this was useful! it’s so tough living with these conditions and i bet it’s equally as touch watching somebody you love struggle with them.
my best to you and your family :)

So her future enjoyment and mental health is important and many 15 year olds do consider that important now and in the future. Also her current and future mental health can be impacted by this so it could make things worse.

I agree it is a potential but its aim is to inhibit these things in the body so it is doing what it is made to do! Block that sensation.

I voted YANBU, based on exploring the risks and benefits of the medication and how to manage and respond potential side effects.

Medication can have more unpredictable effects and not always the same benefits in teenagers, so I would want more information, especially as your DD is also ambivalent.

I wouldn’t be a flat no though, medication could be helpful as it seems like her quality of life is suffering, regardless of academic success..

Yeah you’re being massively unreasonable. My DF was really against me taking medication at a similar age to your DD, and I feel like it caused me unnecessary suffering.

I have read all your replies not all replies .

my Ds is on ADHD meds .. I made the decision when he was 10. Now 17 he takes them because knows they help him .

You can try them they may help her massively .. Meds can always be stopped if they don’t help ..

I think this comment is rather naive

She is lucky to be prescribed medication. My ds is autistic & we spent 3 years fighting for him to get medication, he had to wait until he was 18, I spent most of those years watching him self harm & being terrified he would take his own life. There is nothing wrong with medication, you wouldn't leave her with a broken leg untreated, her mental health is the same thing, something broken that needs treatment.

@Nat6999

A very similar experience here too. My teen DD had 2 attempts on her life for them to prescribe medication. I had been crying and pleading with them for months prior to this as she kept saying she wanted to end her life but to no avail. Apparently because she 'refused' to communicate with CAHMS (she was in autistic burnout in bed 24/7 self harming) there was no access to any meds.