To not give my teen DD medication

[Foxjonessssss]

My 15 yr old DD has ASD and OCD, both diagnosed by CAMHS who she is under. She is brilliant in every way and manages so well. She is in grammar school doing really well academically but struggles in other ways. The school are great and really help her.

She has had therapy via CAMHS and through school but still struggles with intrusive thoughts.

CAMHS consultant has said it’s now time to start medication. I have really wanted to avoid this for her. I don’t want her on medication that has side effects and she may be reliant on. DD doesn’t mind either way.

I just think she has done so well with everything without medication I wish she didn’t need it ☹️

AIBU if I don’t accept the medication for her?

I find the anti medication brigade baffling. We are lucky enough to live in a time where we have medication that can cure, or at the very least control, many physical and mental conditions. Taken carefully, with all due consideration - and I'd say in this case the fact that every effort appears to have been made to find non-medical methods of treating her - medication can be transformational.

OP - feeling sad for your DD is reasonable. Just like parents of children with other long term conditions probably feel sad. I have a mild disability and I look back now and suspect my parents spent a lot of time worrying and feeling sad about it or wishing they didn' thave ot take me to yet another physiotherapy appointment, or run interference for me at a sport or hobby activity. But they just got on with it and did it becuase that was what was best for me.

Do what's best for your dd. Monitor for both positive and negative effects and make future decisons based on that.

You find it baffling that there are different models - the medical model, the genetic model, the trauma informed model etc? Given that the field is built purely on stigma and there is yet to be any science behind it then not quite sure why so many still believe the chemical imbalance thing that was debunked many decades ago.

What does the medication cure or treat? There is nothing biological to treat. There is nothing wrong with the person it is a normal reaction.

We have no proof that they are treatable by medication in fact we have no tests to even prove their existence is biological only subjective tick lists that we can all tick off ourselves.

We do have proof that psychiatrists wouldn't opt for medication in most instances but would prescribe to others. Now why would that be?

I don’t think OP has mentioned depression or anxiety has she? Her daughter has OCD. She’s had therapy via CAMHS (assume CBT/ERP) but she’s still struggling so the consultant now wants to try medication. Reducing expectations or number of exams isn’t going to do much for OCD. Removing a stressor might temporarily improve symptoms but ultimately she will need treatment. While it can be well-managed, people with full blown OCD generally have it for life.

What? Your posts are almost incomprehensible. But I think you're saying there's no proof that medication treats symptoms? Are you talking ALL medication or just the medication OP's daughter might take? If the former... wow. If the latter.... well, that's just not true. Loads of people on this thread alone have said how much medication has helped them.

I think your basic mistake seems to see medication meaning the patient has "failed" in some way. That admitting they have a problem for which they need help is a problem and made up. Which is bollocks. I think it's fairly well established that medications like ADHD meds or anti depressants do not cure the problem, but if they can offer some relief, that feels like a win to me.

Just like I'm pro painkillers - especially in childbirth. I'm also pro anti-inflammatories to reduce swelling, pro anti histamines to relieve the symptoms of hayfever and other allergy reactions and 100% pro medication to cure or manage cancer. Doesn't mean I'm not ALSO a fan of deep breathing and mindfulness in childbirth, cold packs and rest for inflammation, natural remedies and naturally ant-histamine food for allergies and preventative options for cancer where possible.

What does it do? Curious to know!

All meds for mental health. How much they have helped of doped them up for a duration where over time their responses have diminished as watchful waiting has proven to do?

Meds that the people who prescribe them wouldn't take? Now what would be the reason for that?

Nope I do not see anything about failure in the patient as I am not one to say they need fixing as I see their responses to trauma as being purposeful and needed. I do not see them as abnormal like you do. I see them as normal.

I think that is YOUR interpretation there and your insecurities coming through. Your own stigma about mental health which is evident.

Would you take anti-histamines for no reason if there was no biological reason for it just because it is what someone said to do with no justification or necessity? I am pro medication when it is needed but when there is no biological need then it is harmful.

If your daughter was diabetic, would you refuse medication for that? Or if she broke her leg, would you refuse a cast and let her heal "naturally"?
Having medication to help her heal and recover is essential for her health, both physical and mental health. Don't deny her that.

If she was diabetic there would be testing done. If she broke her leg that would be tested to check for a break. There is no tests available to check for mental health problems as no such tests exist. Also there are nothing to test for only stigma. I would not medicate without there being a need. If you would give insulin without testing for diabetes then that is on you.

@whippy1981 I will ask this as kindly as possible. What the everloving fuck are you banging on about?

I will give you an exemple. My ASD son had such heavy OCD that he couldn't leave the house because he had to touch everything a certain number of times and then all over again. If you talked to him he screamed because he had to start all over. The root to OCD is anxiety. The root to anxiety is not well established because it varies so much. For my son who is autistic it was changes even slall that provoked his anxiety and triggered his OCD. He was not receptive to therapy because his level of anxiety was too high.

Sertraline was a game changer: he still had his OCD but he could resist it better: he could manage to go outside because the anxiety didn't have such a strong hold on him. He could live again : go to school, playground etc.

For OCD Sertraline is prescribed combined with therapy. Just like with depression. If you're too deep down therapy is useless: so you need to 1. Treat the debilitating symptoms in order to 2. Get to the root of the problem (if there is one. My child is autistic and every change cause him anxiety. So here the goal is just to keep the anxiety at bay with medication so he can live a semi-normal life.

I have worked with many young people for whom medication had vastly improved their quality of life.

Trauma informed models of mental health vs medical model of mental health or genetic model of mental health.

Different models. It is common.

I see their responses to trauma as being purposeful and needed. I do not see them as abnormal like you do. I see them as normal
what an utter nonsense!
Someone with severe PTSD to the point of suicidal attempts, that's purposeful and needed and no need to medicate?
I know of two people that sertraline saved their lives and continues to give them
the ability to work and engage in family life, it has helped them turn their life around.
@whippy1981 you don't half drivel some shite.

They need support as doping and then leaving them with the cup full will do nothing and just shift it further down the line and make you feel better. Saying I know whatever is causing you trauma we shall ignore and not deal with but lets take these meds and we will continue to ignore it is pointless. Help them not dope them!

Imagine someone who has been raped and suffered such trauma and you say to them your response to rape is so problematic to us we will give you these meds and not deal with what is causing you distress. You can continue to suffer about the rape so long as in society you do not display behaviour that we deem abnormal. Then we will say it isn't the rape that is the problem it is your brain that is the problem hence why we are giving you meds to deal with your problematic brain. It is not normal to respond to rape like this. Then we will say we saved your life all the while ignoring your trauma.
Job done well there mate! Job done well!

I do not agree with calling ppl abnormal. Sorry. By all means continue that is your choice. It is not drivel to avoid stigma. You do you.

Actually at 15 she is definitely Gillick Competent and needs to stop minding either way and make her own decision - this isn’t an 8 year old she is I think able to make her own informed choice.

many don’t take medication many do I think here the right parental choice is to get the DD informed enough to make her own

@whippy1981 you need to work on your comprehension skills. I said if the daughter was diabetic or had a broken bone I.e. meaning that they have been diagnosed by a medical professional, the same way a medical professional would diagnose a problem with someone's mental health. The doctors aren't just guessing at illnesses or plucking them out of thin air. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain, therefore some medications are beneficial to those affected.

@whippy1981 You keep banging on about "biological need" like it's some huge "gotcha". It's so weird. If you break your leg and take paracetomol, codeine or ibuprofen, you do know that none of those drugs actually CURE the leg right? They simply help to manage the symptoms.

As for mental health and neurodiversity we don't know how much is "biological" and how much is psychological, trauma etc. We DO know that in many cases the meds help to support the patient and relieve symptoms, allowing them either to address the underlying issues or to improve their quality of life.

It's fine for you not to want to take medication or to consider altneratives for any mental health issues but your rather incoherent ranting suggests you don't really know what you're talking about and it's strange that you're so upset that OP is considering meds for her dd.

As for what it does? Well, in the caes of my ADHD DS, the meds calm his brain so that he can actually focus. When he's playing basketball at home he doesn't need his meds to focus and concentrate because it's calm and quiet, but on a busy court, without his meds every other bouncing ball, every shout from a spectator, every person running past is a huge distraction and very difficult for him to manage. Which is frustrating for him because he loves basketball and is good at it. Many ADHD children will actively seek to take their meds because the chaos in their heads, which translates to chaos in their lives, is very distressing to them. smart ones especially find it frustrating. Of course, you may not consider this valid as ADHD is a "biological" condition and while it's not fully understood as yet, it's recognised as such, and, in fact, responding to meds is actually considered part of the diagnostic criteria. But we DO know the meds don't solve the problem, they simply help to manage it.

Anti depressants have a similar effect and I know most professionals want their patients to use meds in conjunction with other therapies - rather than in an attempt to just solve the problem with meds. You watch someone who has been barely able to function (and usually feeling guiltly, stressed, sad about it) suddenly start to be able to do things and engage with thei rlives and believe me, you'll be a fan of the meds too.

So what tests are conducted before these meds are given? As far as I am aware there are no tests conducted before medication is given.

If so please explain to me what is being tested and how, what units of measurement are they measured in and how often are they measured? What does the medication do in terms of changing what was being measured? How often is the medication checked as with diabetes? What does the medication do exactly within the body - we can explain that with diabetes but what tests are done to show what impact the medication has on the body for mental health?

What area of the body is tested?

Diabetes is diagnosed with specific testing. Mental illness is diagnosed with subjective stigma. There is no test as far as I am aware. By all means explain if you are aware of some medical testing on something done for a diagnosis.

Using meds on someone for mental health is like giving insulin for someone without testing they need it.

That is exactly the attitude thathas led to so many people addicted to prescribed medication. It is a well documented fact that (a) people have defintely been prescribed medications without consideration of alternatives and (b) this happens more frequently with women.

Op I would discuss this with the prescribers - what are they prescribing, why do they think she needs it, are there alternatives etc. Then you should both discuss it but in the end I would let her choose. Just make it an informed choice.

Most trauma responses you do not notice so you ignore most and only focus on the ones that cause you discomfort and basically dope them so that person can be within society and not cause discomfort to others.

So one of the most common trauma responses is overworking and people pleasing. They are often celebrated and not once have I seen anyone being doped for people pleasing or working hard. They are largely ignored despite it causing issues within their lives because it doesn't make society uncomfortable. It also limits them socially and within their work or within their family life etc. So someone barely able to function because of overwork and you do what? Ignore it! Every single time! What you mean is you focus on those behaviours that you seem as problematic to society and you and say that you treat things that impact on you and tart it up as being for them all the while ignoring most responses because they are not problematic to you but to the individual but that doesn't matter? Right?

When people work their arses off - do you dope them up? When individuals people please and arse lick do you dope them up? Nope. All can be trauma responses and cause issues but as they are seen as 'good' within society then you ignore them and the person struggling.

I've been there and nope not been a fan of the meds as there is no need for them so nope you are wrong and no I will not be a fan of them if I see it. I see it day in day out I have lived it and nope never will be a fan of using medication untested for something that has not been proven to be needed. Understanding what is causing them pain and not ignoring them would do better. Most people are ignored about their mental health and stigmatised as you have done. I refuse to use stigma or use meds when there is no reason to.

Paracetamol deals with something within the body that is a problem - nerves causing pain through being exposed or trapped or damaged etc. There is nothing within the body that is damaged when someone suffers trauma.

What is incoherent about saying using stigma is wrong? Or are you trying to label me as mental there - the irony proving it is just stigma when someone doesn't behave as 'all others do'?! ha ha! Comply or be labelled mental! Yes?

@whippy1981
People can have therapy etc and have medication, someone close to me was suicidal with PTSD, endless therapy and finally decided to use medication, it has saved their life and without it they'd be dead, nobody has ignored their trauma or said it's abnormal!!
Medication and therapy are not exclusive,I'm sorry but you're woefully ill informed.
I find you a deliberately obtuse and antagonistic poster and your comments are very hurtful to those going through extreme MH issues.

@whippy1981 with the greatest of respect, whilst you are entitled to have your own opinion and beliefs, and indeed anger, please take a step back and give yourself perspective that a person disagreeing with you on the internet isn't important, and you can't change everyone's opinions to your own. I say this without prejudice.