To not give my teen DD medication

[Foxjonessssss]

My 15 yr old DD has ASD and OCD, both diagnosed by CAMHS who she is under. She is brilliant in every way and manages so well. She is in grammar school doing really well academically but struggles in other ways. The school are great and really help her.

She has had therapy via CAMHS and through school but still struggles with intrusive thoughts.

CAMHS consultant has said it’s now time to start medication. I have really wanted to avoid this for her. I don’t want her on medication that has side effects and she may be reliant on. DD doesn’t mind either way.

I just think she has done so well with everything without medication I wish she didn’t need it ☹️

AIBU if I don’t accept the medication for her?

I felt the same as you about medication and resisted it for my DD who is autistic. Also high achiever in grammar school. Things seemed stable enough but then things got radically worse - eating disorder, self harm, addictive behaviour.

She is now on sertraline and back on track again. She has started to enjoy life again and so much happier at school.

I would seriously consider the medication before things get worse. I delayed it and it seriously backfired.

You are a good mum and you have the right instincts!

Why have you waited so long? My nephew's had ritalin from about 3 years old. They would never have passed any exams without it.

Refusing medication because it saddens you is quite selfish, if this is what will help her then she needs to try.

In your shoes I would want to understand why the drs want to start her on medication.
I would think that at 15 she should be the one making the decision. You cant force her taking or not taking it anyway. What is it that your daughter wants the medication to help with?

To give an alternative view. I was medicated from my teen years. I really wish I hadn't been and I do feel drs push meds at you too easily. Completely lost my teens and 20s to poor mental health. Except when I stopped the meds I was remarkably better. Meds make me anxious and suicidal, when I went back to the dr they either upped the meds or switched them. I lost years to them believing they would not be prescribed unless needed.

For me I needed to understand what autism was and how I was different and to stop trying to be like everyone else and failing and anting meds to fix me. As soon as I understood I was better. Stopped the meds and discovered they really messed my head up. It's fairly common for antidepressants to work differently in a nurodivergent brain so be watchful of that

So a response to trauma! If the NHS gatekeep therapy by doping then it suggests that their therapy isn't up to standard if they have to show it works by doping!

Your ignorance on this subject is palpable. No not a response to trauma at all. They started medication long before they experienced trauma. They were born with the conditions that make their medication necessary. They don’t have to show it works by coping,they gave my children medication so they were able to access the therapy that saved their lives. Five well respected NHS department and the top private practise in the area were all the same. Doing it that way round os why they’re doing so well,as advised by the experts.

Ignorance to know how the field was created and continues to develop? There are many models to mental health and the trauma informed one is not 'ignorant' at all. Born with CPTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts and anorexia? Really? How was that tested at birth?

So you are saying Dr Spitzer is wrong for his work on creating the labels? I am going off what he said and his work created the labels. So he must be ignorant and the DSM-V is wrong according to you? Right?

No born with autism and adhd that are often linked to depression, anxiety,OCD, suicidal idealisation and Anorexia( which followed later).

I couldn’t care less what “Dr Spitzer” says I take my advice from highly qualified and respected NHS / private staff not some random on MN who clearly knows zilch and most certainly doesn’t know my children.

Dr Spitzer informed them! ha ha ha! So yes you do care as he was the one who said your kids have no biological markers and who informed the staff who treat your kids! ha ha!

Highly qualified in stigmatising ppl? Yeah that much is true! That is all they are qualified in doing as it appears so are you! Calling your kids abnormal is wrong.

@whippy1981 can you maybe back off and stop dominating the conversation with your dogmatism. If you want to have a wider conversation about this, start a thread.

This thread is about the OP's daughter; not whatever YouTube rabbit hole you fell down.

As I said before your ignorance is palpable. Not going to engage with you anymore. You can witter away spouting your nonsense to yourself.

YABVVVU.

I am giving my opinion on not using meds when they are not needed. As you are giving opinions on using meds when you believe they are. The OP asked should she give meds - the opinions are a yes or a no. I am within my rights to say no and give my justification as are you within your rights to say yes and justify your beliefs. Why should you dismiss one model of mental health as dogmatism and minimise it by suggesting it has come from Youtube when it is clear that both what your Drs tell you has come from the same place that I found my information.

Both of us have a right to answer the OP. If you do not believe in other models of mental health - which you have admitted you believe in at least 2 different ones - the medical and the genetic model then why dismiss something you have not read into?

Yes the thread is about the OPs daughter so let me give her advice as she asked. It is allowed to give differing opinions isn't it as there is no science behind any of it anyway!

I'll go back to giving my opinion and base it on information from the horse's mouth - those who created the labels of being abnormal you so keenly give others.

Ignorance from listening to the creators of the labels? Explain how so?

By all means continue to call your kids abnormal. I do not think that is acceptable so refuse to do so. Sorry if you label your kids as such. I do not do that.

Ds2 had intrusive thoughts, anxiety and a diagnosis of dyspraxia. Lots of sensory issues. Talking therapy and vitamin D (he was always worst in Feb for low vitamin D levels not surprisingly) helped him a lot. Also walking. He never needed to be medicated to improve.
Exercise good diet and vitamin D was the best medication. At his worst he was eating and drinking enormous amounts of sugar and junk food lying in bed all day and suffering terribly from intrusive thoughts. Still didn't need medication to get through it. Having a purpose socialising working walking and vitamin D transformed his life and looking at his goals in a different way (helping him to overcome perfectionism/fear of failing..that was the work of a therapist)

https://cepuk.org/

This is worth a read

I was where you are, no diagnosis but issues that should have been investigated. He was doing ‘fine’ not very symptomatic.
He is now a 29 year old with severe burn out
We made a big mistake and I am wracked with guilt at the moment.

"Doing brilliantly" can indeed be masking; not giving medication is not a greenlight the ignore issues and press on. We know that fruit and veg and exercise are healthy for most but if your child has anorexia these remedies would be a disastrous intervention/solution (although vitamin D would help regardless)
If seeing people gives your child panic attacks then obviously forcing them to go to events, crowded situations isn't going to help, but a walk to the park with one familiar person might. And then a few more might be tolerable eventually and then an event in due course.

ASD doesn't, but the severe anxiety caused by the confusion of living in a world not designed for you can be lessened by medication, usually sertraline or fluoxetine.

OP, it's not easy to get a prescription for a teen. If her team believe she'll benefit and she's willing to try, it's worth a try. Whilst she may appear to be coping, she's in for a tricky few years - exams, college or sixth form, more exams - and with ASD and OCD, she's increased risk for an eating disorder too.

Oh wow.
If she was diabetic would you not let her take insulin? Or would you hope she can always balance her sugars right?

Seriously. It is not much different.

Let her try the meds if she wants to.

Meds can be super helpful . Everything else is nice and can be helpful but it is often meds that get kids like this thru grammar school

ND kids are more likely to die than other teens. From being idiots and getting killed doing something silly. Or by suicide.
More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
More likely to have an unwanted pregnant.
More likely to F up their exams. Or their coursework. Or both.

So. If she wants to try them. Support her and work with her medical team.

I have asd and ocd
medication (and therapy) has literally changed my life I can't express how much of a difference it has made to my ability to cope with intrusive thoughts and implement the strategies I learnt in therapy, along with massively reducing the frequency and intensity of intrusive thoughts.
ocd is complete torture and literally wrecks lives, medication can and does work for many people with ocd.

ADHD meds arent the same as antidepressants. ADHD meds are addressing the lack of dopamine. But SSRIs address anxiety in the short term but they are not advised for the treatment of mild or moderate depression only severe depression. Talking therapies in conjunction with a short term dose are not the same as insulin for a diabetic.
The chemical imbalance "theory" for treatment moderate depression anxiety - as opposed to ADHD symptoms, long term - is still being debated. And there are still interventions other than medication that can help greatly. Like reducing the number of exams or reducing the implied expectation to do brillisntly in exams or work or anything really.
Unless all of these have been tried it is nothing like the insulin model for diabetes.