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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH not happy

264 replies

Babyitscoldoutside1 · 16/02/2025 18:57

I have just entertained DMIL DFIL and all the family for a roast dinner. We had a bottle of bubbles when they arrived. I cooked and served a full roast. Then we went for a walk, we have 4 under 5.
When we got back I did teas and coffees for everyone. Cleared, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher etc. As well as breastfeeding a baby.
Had a quick dance party to tire kids out.
during which DH commented I was drunk and should stop dancing.
We have now put the kids to bed.
Have poured a glass of wine out of what was left from DMIL and DFiL bottle they left with us. Fully thought I earned it but maybe not. Am I wrong.

OP posts:
Mctm · 16/02/2025 20:16

I had a session with a breastfeeding specialist when I was pregnant and she informed me that aslong as you can safely look after your baby then the amount of alcohol you drink won't affect your breast milk. She said you would need to drink a whole crate of wine for it to make any impact to breastmilk and even then all it would do is make them a bit sleepy.
Please stop spreading misinformation people, very outdated views here.

Also OP your husband is an ungrateful pr*ck. ignore him!

Completelyjo · 16/02/2025 20:16

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:13

5 glasses of wine in one bottle? Don't be ridiculous! 😂

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Perhaps you need more self control then?

Doloresparton · 16/02/2025 20:17

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 19:43

YABU to be boozing heavily whilst breastfeeding. Ignore the posters telling you it's fine. It's not.

Also....

YABVU to call it a 'bottle of bubbles.' 🙄

Edited

Dsil says bubbles if it’s not real champagne.
Obviously if it’s actual champagne the whole of sm knows.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 16/02/2025 20:17

ThriveIn2025 · 16/02/2025 20:13

What happened during the dance party that made your DH comment that you were drunk?

My guess is she was having fun? How dare she. He sounds like such an arsehole.

User21012025 · 16/02/2025 20:17

Babyitscoldoutside1 · 16/02/2025 19:22

Wow the breastfeeding and drinking haters with no scientific proof are out in force today. Fml. I guess u can join my husband in the bin

Ignore them OP, I have read a few studies that say next to no alcohol enters breast milk. Enjoy your well deserved vino.

Hedgingmybetching · 16/02/2025 20:18

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:03

From that breastfeeding article. (On the previous page.)

You can have occasional, small amounts of alcohol but should not drink regularly or heavily (e.g. binge drinking) without considering how to limit your baby’s exposure.

If you drink any alcohol DO NOT bed share with your baby or fall asleep in the sofa/chair.

If you do drink heavily, your baby should be cared for by an adult who has not had any alcohol.

  • Never share a bed or sofa with your baby if you have drunk any alcohol. Doing this has an increased association with sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
  • Alcohol passes freely into breastmilk. Levels of alcohol in your breastmilk reach approximately the same levels as your blood. Your blood alcohol levels have to reach around 300mg/100ml (or 0.3%) before causing mild sedation in your baby. This compares with a level of 80mg/100ml (0.08%) needed to fail the police blood test in England, Wales and N. Ireland; or 50mg/100ml (0.05%) Scotland.
  • Peak alcohol levels in your milk appear after 30-90 minutes but this does not mean that social drinking of small amounts of alcohol mean that you cannot breastfeed as normal.
  • If you want to reduce your baby’s exposure to alcohol, you could avoid breastfeeding for 2-3 hours after drinking.
  • Excess levels of alcohol in your milk may lead to drowsiness, deep sleep, weakness and decreased growth in your infant. Reduction of let-down has been reported with heavy drinking. Alcohol may reduce your baby’s sucking time at the breast but not the volume of milk consumed.

Seriously, FFS, if you're necking back virtually a full bottle of wine. DO NOT BREASTFEED your baby. OP is binge drinking with the amount she has been drinking. Why are people trying to normalise this???

I can't believe the amount of posters enabling the OP. And as I said, it's terrifying to think some of them many have young children/babies themselves!

EDUCATE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe some things I read on here sometimes. No WAY can most people be serious half the time! It's a parallel universe on here! Shock

Edited
  • Alcohol passes freely into breastmilk. Levels of alcohol in your breastmilk reach approximately the same levels as your blood. Your blood alcohol levels have to reach around 300mg/100ml (or 0.3%) before causing mild sedation in your baby. This compares with a level of 80mg/100ml (0.08%) needed to fail the police blood test in England, Wales and N. Ireland; or 50mg/100ml (0.05%) Scotland.

I googled how much alcohol you would need to drink to get to mild sedation of the baby at a blood alcohol level of 0.3%...

"A blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.3% is reached after consuming about 15 drinks. At this level, unconsciousness is almost certain. "

Tiegs · 16/02/2025 20:19

Babyitscoldoutside1 · 16/02/2025 19:22

Wow the breastfeeding and drinking haters with no scientific proof are out in force today. Fml. I guess u can join my husband in the bin

You shouldn't drink and breast feed though it will go into your milk supply

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:19

User21012025 · 16/02/2025 20:17

Ignore them OP, I have read a few studies that say next to no alcohol enters breast milk. Enjoy your well deserved vino.

Show quote history

Of course alcohol enters the breast milk!!! It stays for several hours. Stop posting dangerous misinformation! FGS!

Greentiles67 · 16/02/2025 20:20

Weird how some people do this. It's like they can't just accept and be happy when things are going good. They have to get a face on. Childish really.

This mum has been firing on all cylinders today, the chef, the host and the fun entertainer - I'd guess she probably helped keep the conversation flowing as well.

Yet, some people just get envious and feel the need to act up. Often in front of family as it's their safe space to act dick-ish. Would he do this if it had been friends you'd had round today?

The problem isn't you OP. It's him.
Suggest chatting about it another day and asking why he gets like that (assuming it's a fairly regular occurrence)

AlertCat · 16/02/2025 20:20

AlertCat · 16/02/2025 20:13

  • *Alcohol passes freely into breastmilk. Levels of alcohol in your breastmilk reach approximately the same levels as your blood. Your blood alcohol levels have to reach around 300mg/100ml (or 0.3%) before causing mild sedation in your baby. This compares with a level of 80mg/100ml (0.08%) needed to fail the police blood test in England, Wales and N. Ireland; or 50mg/100ml (0.05%) Scotland.
  • Peak alcohol levels in your milk appear after 30-90 minutes but this does not mean that social drinking of small amounts of alcohol mean that you cannot breastfeed as normal.*
@BatchCookBabe did you read this properly? You need to have a blood-alcohol level of almost four times the drink-drive limit for it to cause “mild sedation” in your baby. Most people would have passed out by then!

And social drinking of small amounts of alcohol- such as three glasses spread over a whole afternoon, a meal and a walk- doesn’t mean you cannot breastfeed as normal. Which means you CAN breastfeed as normal. I don’t understand why you’re so agitated by the OP’s story.

@BatchCookBabe

TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 20:20

Some judgemental twats who can’t understand BAC posters are really embarrassing themselves on here.

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:20

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/02/2025 20:15

Sorry to be "that" person but a pub measure of a small glass is 125 ml, so any wine bottle of 75cl has 6 small glasses. Then you have medium of 175 (and I cba to do the maths on that) and then 250ml, large, gives you three glasses.

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Thank you.

pelargoniums · 16/02/2025 20:21

ThriveIn2025 · 16/02/2025 20:13

What happened during the dance party that made your DH comment that you were drunk?

Gave the baby shots of flaming sambuca.

TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 20:21

Also really glad you’re not my pals if you think a glass of fizz and two wines over the course of 7/8 hours is ‘drinking heavily’.

Completelyjo · 16/02/2025 20:21

Does anyone really fancy a wine now?

TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 20:21

Completelyjo · 16/02/2025 20:21

Does anyone really fancy a wine now?

Yep. Going to crack into a Pouilly Fume.

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/02/2025 20:21

Tiegs · 16/02/2025 20:19

You shouldn't drink and breast feed though it will go into your milk supply

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It's a tiny drop in the ocean.

As someone has posted above, for a baby to be mildly sedated due to a breastfeeding mum drinking alcohol, she'd have to have around 15 drinks.

Pretty sure OP and baby are safe.

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:22

Tiegs · 16/02/2025 20:19

You shouldn't drink and breast feed though it will go into your milk supply

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Yes this. This! Why are people not getting/accepting this?

pelargoniums · 16/02/2025 20:22

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:22

Yes this. This! Why are people not getting/accepting this?

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Because we understand data, evidence and statistics and you don’t?

MumCanIHaveASnackPlease · 16/02/2025 20:22

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:22

Yes this. This! Why are people not getting/accepting this?

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Because it’s scientifically untrue.

Hope that helps.

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:23

Completelyjo · 16/02/2025 20:16

Perhaps you need more self control then?

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Perhaps you need to educate yourself then. NO bottle of wine has 5-6 glasses in it FFS!

TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 20:23

pelargoniums · 16/02/2025 20:22

Because we understand data, evidence and statistics and you don’t?

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A statistician, she ain’t.

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/02/2025 20:23

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:22

Yes this. This! Why are people not getting/accepting this?

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Because it isn't correct.

TagSplashMaverick · 16/02/2025 20:24

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:23

Perhaps you need to educate yourself then. NO bottle of wine has 5-6 glasses in it FFS!

Edited
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You’ve said that a few times. Can I just ask, have you ever used or written the word ‘sheeple’? 👀

Tiegs · 16/02/2025 20:24

BatchCookBabe · 16/02/2025 20:22

Yes this. This! Why are people not getting/accepting this?

Show quote history

Yeah I don’t know why people are saying it’s fine I breastfeeding my baby and I woukdnt drink because I know it goes into the milk supply