Husband unreasonable over long lost brother?

[Ambi88]

Hi so my brother who was adopted out as a child 30 years ago, has found me literally this week.
iv been talking to him and my other brothers most of this week probably an hour a day.
so we were all taken as children, there’s 7 of us but me and 2 brothers were kept together.
This brother who has found us was adopted out and we haven’t seen or heard from him in all those years.
getting to my point, my husband has been acting stroppy and making comments about talking to them too much, and not bothering with him and that I’m ignoring him over “some bloke”
he was annoyed I didn’t answer his call as I was talking to my brother and I shouldn’t ignore him.
telling me to ignore calls and just being really funny with me.
brother had mentioned meeting at some point but husband is saying no not for a long time.
iv tried reassuring him nothing changes between me and him but for gods sake he is my brother who I have missed dearly and I feel like my husband has ruined what is supposed to be a happy time.
he isn’t being supportive at all and telling me Iv used him and now I don’t need him anymore!
what the bloody hell is his issue?
iv tried getting him involved in conversations and he is still stroppy. I have to text my brother in secret and pretend I haven’t heard off him just to avoid his moodiness. Is this jealousy or possessiveness or what?
I know I don’t know my brother anymore and I’m not rushing into anything but this can’t be right surely?
if it were him I’d be so happy for him and would support him fully.
am I being unreasonable? Is hubby unreasonable?
he does this everytime a family member has found me.. I’m confused?

Your husband is being ridiculous and should be ashamed of himself!

Your husband is a controlling selfish prick and needs to shut the fuck up.

He is being completely ridiculous. He should be happy for you. How dare he say you won’t be meeting him for a long time. I’d be having a chat and telling him he is ruining what should be a happy occasion for you because he is jealous.

Errr… your DH needs to catch himself! Is he really jealous of your brothers? Is this out of character for him?

Tell your husband to calm down and let you enjoy this.
When I found my mums long lost brother (she was adopted and we researched and through a lucky chance found her brothers - that she didn'tknow she had) he came down with his family as soon as he could. The first Saturday after making contact. We didn't know any of them from Adam but we welcomed them in. We were lucky that he only lived an hour away. Other brother had to fly from Scotland and it took a few months to arrange.

I mean this 100%. Who the fuck has a strop like that about a long lost brother? Your husband is a cunt, making you feel you have to text your own brother in secret like it's something bad that you're communicating. Is he controlling in other ways or is this literally out of the blue because it's odd as fuck behaviour for sure

Your husband is being controlling, he's jealous of your BROTHER.. it's not like your going to run off into the sunset with him.
I'd tell him to buck his ideas up before you get a divorce.

Wow so many responses already! Thank you all.
Iv never had family so it's been me and him for the 11 years we've been together.
He's never been controlling but Iv been seeing it the last few years since family has found me etc.
He just acts really off with me and yeah jealous I guess which is weird!
We had a massive argument about his behaviour yesterday and he said he's trying to protect me and doesn't want me to leave him? It's all very odd. It's like he wants my full attention constantly.
It just feels so unfair that he always adds negativity to happy things 🙄
Iv got a video call with said brother tomorrow and I'm dreading it

There is no excuse for your husband‘s behaviour. None at all.

A loving partner would be supporting these discussions and reunions etc; this is a happy time for you. How dare he ruin it.

Does he have his own family? His behaviour is revolting. Possessive, insecure and jealous. Very unattractive indeed. He is making this all about him.

do not stop what you’re doing. Keep strong relations building between you and your brothers. Who knows, you may well need them in coming years.

So has he done this kind of thing before?

That's emotional blackmail on his part, having a mantrum and implying you're going to leave him. He needs to grow the fuck up.

I wouldn't be living with that. Tell him he needs to accept this or he can gtfo.

So no one taught him to share his toys as a child?

He's probably alway been a bit possessive/controlling but it's only become obvious now that you have something he's not a part of.

You need to be firm, you will talk to your family and meet them and he can be a part of it if he chooses to but he is not to spoil this for you.

he isn’t being supportive at all and telling me Iv used him and now I don’t need him anymore!
what the bloody hell is his issue?
iv tried getting him involved in conversations and he is still stroppy. I have to text my brother in secret and pretend I haven’t heard off him just to avoid his moodiness. Is this jealousy or possessiveness or what?

This is the first time ever that your husband has shown his jealous possessive side?

How weird

Your husband is being ridiculous

You can't allow him to control and coerce you

@UnexpectedCost
Thank you, he acts like this everytime one of my family members get in contact with me.
Yes he has family and likes to "remind me" that they have been my only family for 11 years!
I hardly see his family as they are all too busy with eachother so iv enjoyed having my brothers back tbh.
It is really turning me off him. Iv told him he's ridiculous but apparently he's just being protective.

In a thread from a couple of months ago you describe having three brothers - is this a fourth brother who has found you this week?

@TiredCatLady
Hey yes it is. I have 4 brothers altogether

Iv never had family so it's been me and him for the 11 years we've been together.

But you say in your OP that you and two brothers were kept together while the rest were adopted out, so you do have some family. How is he with the two brothers you have always been in touch with? Are you allowed to call and meet up with them?

His behaviour won't get any better @Ambi88 and if anything, will likely get worse.

I suspect he has been controlling and manipulative throughout your relationship but maybe more subtly.

What's he like with your friends/colleagues etc?

He's not being protective, he's being a prick.

Arrange to all meet as soon as you can, husband included.
You don't need his permission but, realistically, if you are going to sustain a relationship with your brother long term, your husband is best to be included .. and he's better off not having an imaginary vision.

This is so exciting, Op.
You have a whole life to catch up on.
Have all seven of you reunited?

Not normal behaviour from your dh. You don't have to follow his rules or instructions and anyone that started trying to tell me what to do as if they were my parent would be out the door immediately.

He is being a prick. What does he think is going to happen, that you are going to shag your brother? Are you not allowed to have family of your own? Tell him to do one.

@BilboBlaggin
It's complicated, so I grew up with them but then I moved to wales from London at 17 due to wanting to be with my dad.
So we lost touch and the family is toxic so they all turned them against me.
1st brother found me 3 years ago hubby was stroppy as he is now but first brother doesn't contact much he's antisocial.
Second brother was shortly after him and is basically busy with kids and life but we talk once a week tolerated by hubby.
This brother is different and wants to build a proper relationship with us all including hubby.
Iv never met up with my other brothers since they got in touch

Is your husband OK about your other 3 brothers?

Or is he jealous and possessive of you with those brothers as well as the new brother?

@user1492757084
Thank you i was so excited too!
Brothers are involving hubby too so I don't get it.
Well there's 3 left out there which we are all trying to trace! Fingers crossed