To ask them to put the heating on,?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

If you're a guest in someone's house, is it ok to ask them to turn the heating on/up?

I live in an old draughty house with big single glazed sash windows, so I'm quite used to being chilly. We try to keep the house at about 18, it's very difficult to get it above that but if a guest was cold I would have no issues with plugging in additional heaters etc.

I'm currently staying with my mum for a few days. She lives with her partner and has moved into his house. It's freezing. The living room has a thermometer in it and it's currently 13C. It's a modernish house, fully double glazed and centrally heated.

They split the bills. They are quite well off - nice cars, several holidays a year - so it's not a money issue. According to mum, her partner thinks it's wasteful if they put the heating on during the day, as they are out a lot. They are both retired. They do go out a lot but usually one or both come home at lunchtime. They are usually both in by 5pm but the heating doesn't come on until nearer to 6.

I'm trying to work from here for a few days. I am so cold it's difficult to concentrate. AIBU to ask (insist?) that the heating is on during the day?

Never in a million years would I put the heating on during the day. I am however mostly moving so don’t feel it. When I sit down for lunch I do feel cold so put a jacket on.

I completely understand though that someone working from home in our house would feel extremely cold if they’re sitting still for long periods.

I just can’t imagine ever having a house heated to 24c or even 22c, that’s considered a decent summer day in the UK!

It always amazes me that on Gogglebox, only Mary and Giles are rugged up with everyone else often in T shirts. Every teams meeting I have in the only one in layer's - don’t people want to wear their lovely winter knitwear?

I know “never in a million years” is just a phrase but would you not even when you have guests, especially elderly ones? I would hate to think people are cold inside my house, and as it’s Victorian with big sash windows we always whack up the heating when people visit.

I agree, at home we only heat our studies during the day, but the rest of the house doesn't drop below 16.

I may have "won" the heating battle but got told off by Mum this morning for overfilling the kettle. apparently I'd put in enough water to fill two mugs when I was only making one drink. Thereby wasting electricity. This was whilst she and her partner were having a conversation about whether to go to New Zealand on holiday next year. 😅

@Ddakji if we have guests and we will be sitting around and
it is cold, I would light the wood burner in the sitting room (I would never do this if it’s just me and DH). I just can’t imagine turning the central heating on and heating the whole house though.

I’m starting to wonder if my room thermometer is broken as it says 14 and I feel fine - I do wear winter clothes though, because it’s colder! I’ve got sheepskin slippers on, wool trousers, a merino thermal vest on and a thick cashmere poloneck. I can’t see my breath and there is no damp in the house! It’s old but not damp. Will light the log burner around 4pm which will get it up to 18C fairly quickly.

Wool is where it’s at!

@InterestQ snap, I’ve just checked and in the kitchen is just below 15c and I feel fine! Like you I’m wearing sheepskin slippers and cashmere jumper and skirt, love winter clothes.

I can’t wear wool so that’s not an option but also, if the air is really cold, my body might be warm but my face and hands are feeezing. If the heating goes off and we’re sitting watching a movie, what am I meant to put over my nose to stop it turning into a block of ice??

I don’t work in order to shiver in my own home. I grew up with a dad with this kind of mentality and it was pretty miserable to be honest.

Every teams meeting I have in the only one in layer's - don’t people want to wear their lovely winter knitwear?

I can't bear wool so no. It's scratchy and makes me itch.

Every teams meeting I have in the only one in layer's - don’t people want to wear their lovely winter knitwear?

They're probably just not tight.

@HauntedBungalow maybe they are tight or maybe…

you're a big baby!

Or someone sensible who doesn't like being cold when they don't have to be 🙄

Sorry meant that to be funny rather than horrible!

Feel like I’m 23 again working in a call centre arguing about whether the windows should be open. Cue hours upon hours of babies versus meanies debate

Sorry, I took it the wrong way!

It wasn't so much the windows when I was in the office, it was the bloody lights! Two people wanted it to be like a cave and the fuss if anyone dared open the blinds! I'm not working at the moment and I'm not looking forward to going back to those arguments!

Oodies are indeed fab. However I need mine on at temperatures up to about 19 if I’m sitting down. At 13 it wouldn’t be enough - and it doesn’t keep your hands and face warm anyway.

Who is wearing shorts and t shirt? I have an oodie and thick trackies bottoms plus a thermal long sleeved t shirt. It’s 17. I’m starting to get chilly. Heating is for making the place warm when you are cold - why wouldn’t it occur to you to put it on when, by your own admission, your house is cold?

@HauntedBungalow but I’m wrapped up in cashmere and therefore not cold so why heat a whole house up?

In any case, is there really nothing you’d rather spend money on that heating rooms that are empty?

Haha! The lights! Another classic British debate

Never accept an invite round my parents’ house @PinkSparklyPussyCat - they keep temperatures like OP’s parents and they never turn the blimmin lights on. They’re basically cave people!

Normally I am of the view that it is rude to adjust or ask to put up someone else’s heating. However, this is where the heating is at (say) 17/18 degrees and your preference is 20/21.

13 degrees is objectively too cold. WHO recommendations are 18 degrees for daytime heat in living areas. 13 degrees is unhealthy - especially for octogenarians (I believe below 16 degrees is not recommended even for younger people). I hate a stuffy house and I cold water swim and can regulate my temperature well - but I’d be miserable with 13 degrees.

Id raise it from a perspective of concern for your mother. If she’s moved in with her partner, he can’t unilaterally decide this is an acceptable temperature to save money.

So I would raise it - both with them together and with each individually. You can get a heated throw/heat pad for the period you are there. But I wouldn’t be happy with my elderly mother living like this long-term.

What temperature did your mother used to have her house before she moved in with partner?

I move around in my house so I heat the whole house. I don’t want to go from a warm living room to a freezing bathroom, kitchen or bedroom. And that would be the same for when we have guests so I wouldn’t just heat up a single room and have them have to use a glacial loo. For me that’s very inhospitable.

@Ddakji we must have very different houses, with a woodburner going for visitors the loo would never be glacial, and unless it’s really exceptionally cold nor would it be with heating on in the early mornings and evenings. How do you cope with going outside?

Yebbut that's when you have guests. Just the two of us we light the log burner in the sitting room and brave the loo, kitchen. Because my husband is tight. When we have guests heating is on and he mutters into the phone because Octopus gives him daily usage 😄

I'm already spending £350 a month on heating...... What would you consider a reasonable maximum?

Our January bill was over £600.

DB is staying with us for a few days and is WFH whilst he does so. I've given him an electric heater for the study.

There's lots of things I'd rather spend money on than boring items like shelter and fuel but these things cost money and I fund them as basic priority. Then I spend what's left on the fun stuff.

Obviously we all have different ideas on what's important but I'd rather do that than drift around a cold dark house in Havisham cashmere nibbling at old wedding cake.

My ILs have never had central heating! Just didn’t see it as a priority. Gas fire in the living room & oil filled radiators in bedrooms. House is freezing. We live locally so have never stayed overnight since the 90s. The living room is ok but going to the bathroom is torture! We don't visit anymore as DH uses a wheelchair & there is no disabled access for him. MIL comes to us instead. I fully expect when MIL passes we will find a house riddled with damp.

@oakleaffy Of course they do! Cooking apples are the only type of apple you can make apple sauce from! 🙄