To ask them to put the heating on,?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

If you're a guest in someone's house, is it ok to ask them to turn the heating on/up?

I live in an old draughty house with big single glazed sash windows, so I'm quite used to being chilly. We try to keep the house at about 18, it's very difficult to get it above that but if a guest was cold I would have no issues with plugging in additional heaters etc.

I'm currently staying with my mum for a few days. She lives with her partner and has moved into his house. It's freezing. The living room has a thermometer in it and it's currently 13C. It's a modernish house, fully double glazed and centrally heated.

They split the bills. They are quite well off - nice cars, several holidays a year - so it's not a money issue. According to mum, her partner thinks it's wasteful if they put the heating on during the day, as they are out a lot. They are both retired. They do go out a lot but usually one or both come home at lunchtime. They are usually both in by 5pm but the heating doesn't come on until nearer to 6.

I'm trying to work from here for a few days. I am so cold it's difficult to concentrate. AIBU to ask (insist?) that the heating is on during the day?

Maybe ask if they mind you heating up a room for work tomorrow. It sounds like they will be very happy to accommodate this, they just haven't thought.

We once forgot to turn the heating on before the babysitter came round and she was cold that evening. She was too polite to say anything. I'm still embarrassed. Just forgot to mention it amid the usual how to work the TV, what bedtime for DC etc.

I really feel the cold and my DF would always put the heating up for me. My DM refused to because of the expense but still spent money like water on non essentials. I was raised towards the end in a barely heated home and I refuse to be cold at home now.

Your DPs are ruining their health living like this. My DGPs lived through the war and whilst it scarred them with shortages their house was always warm. They used to say they didn't live through the war to be cold at home.

One of my ex friend's homes was so cold that it was utterly miserable going over there.

Our home is always warm. But I would be horrified if my two were cold indoors. I'd rather cut back elsewhere than have them or I cold indoors.

It's usually somewhere around 12-13 in our house most of the time this time of year, when we've had the heating on for approx 4hours a day it might reach 16 but it's costing us £300 the last few months 😱

Do you like living in a fridge? Under 16 can be damaging for both health and house! I couldn’t tolerate it. We’ve set ours at 18, and that’s not all that warm.
£300 a month is a huge amount! Is the boiler very old? Do you have a very old, big house?

Those on pension credit still receive it!

But MIL is not strapped for cash!

Electric heaters may be cheap to buy, but they’re not cheap to run!

There is no way on earth that your flat should be feeling cold if it genuinely is 24 degrees. Is the air damp? If so, that can make a house feel chillier than it actually is so you might want to look at getting a dehumidifier. I use one in the bathroom all winter and with the door ajar, as well as helping to dry the towels and any washing I put in there, it also keeps the house more comfortable.

Fgs! What a miserable pair!

I hardly ever have the heating on during the day but would put it on if a visitor asked. I don't think 13 is particularly cold if you're dressed for the winter.

Would love it if our house was like this. It’s detached and very old with weird glass bits added on and there are a lot of places the heat is just sucked right out. We heat it to 17 degrees morning and evening but an hour after the heating goes off most rooms will be back down to 14 or 15 and that keeps falling. Every winter I threaten to move but it’s so lovely in summer that we end up staying another year 😆

Yeah there's no way I'd put up with that!

Ask for the heating on and not just for an hour. The thermostat needs to be set to 18. If they refuse, don't stay with them any longer.

Just gently remind them op, hypothermia is no laughing matter.

Of course I don't like it this cold! We can't afford to put it on longer really. Yes to an old boiler and yes to a large old house our ceilings are 12 foot high! I dream of being able to afford a new build 😞

But clearly OP parent and partner are not on Pension Credits.

They are right that there is no point in having the heating on when there is no-one in. However, if they have a guest at home all day it seems to me a no-brainer that they put the heating on, or at the very least make sure guest has a heater and is reassured that the hosts are very happy for it to be used.

13 is below the recommended temperature for the workplace. The heating broke in our office this week and it was below 16 (the recommended lowest temp) and after an hour or so everyone was in coats, scarfs, hats and gloves.
The OP is trying to work, 13 is much too cold.

Do you have to stay there?

All this tip toeing around not wanting to offend. Tell them it’s ridiculously cold and that if they don’t put the heating on you will leave. And then do so.

If I was spending an evening at a friends house I’d probably feel rude/cheeky asking, but at my mums, I absolutely would ask!

Ooh you wouldn't like my house then! I have the back door, which is in the living room, held open with a wedge for the kitties to come in and out, most of the day! Once they come in for the night, the door is shut. And if I'm too cold during the day, the door gets shut and the heating goes on!
We've got a newish boiler, about 4 years old. But it's very economical, we don't use much gas in a month, even if I've had it on a lot!

Hi everyone

I chatted to my mum about it. Her partner lit the wood burner in the living room last night and so it was toasty warm! He's also magicked up a portable heater for the bedroom I'm working in so I can keep that room warm.

I don't know why the house falls to such a low temperature during the day given that they do run the heating morning and evening. It's a well built house with good insulation. It's an "executive" style 5 bedrooms house and they've turned off the radiators in the 4 bedrooms they don't use regularly, although they've turned them back on in the room I sleep in and the room I work in. They also have the radiator turned off in their dining room as they always eat in the kitchen. So maybe 1/3 of the house is unheated.

They've got 6 friends coming over for Sunday lunch this weekend so they'd better put the heating on in the dining room tomorrow. All their friends are also in their 80s so they will definitely feel the cold!

Mum's partner was telling me yesterday that he's going to go to a butcher 30 minutes away to get the joint because they sell really good organic meat. Money definitely isn't an issue here!

Can't you just ask them if they have some blankets you can put round you as you're so cold.

They should get the hint!

As they are both at least 80 they need the heating on.

@letthemeatcakes they do have it on in morning and evening but they are both out almost every day so don't put it on during the day as they are effectively heating an empty house.

I think my mum is home this afternoon. Her partner is playing golf this morning and then possibly cycling this afternoon. It will be interesting to see if she puts the heating on.

I'm sorted now with a heater for the room I'm working in. I wish I'd raised it earlier in the week rather than freezing!