To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

There's still no explanation for the six year old sharing with the adult. If six year old is booted from box room in favour of sibling, then six year old shares with the other child - as originally planned, according to the OP. There is no way in which any version of this scenario puts the six year old in a room with the adult.

Can you explain why BIL and 6yo need to share?

Original plan:
Room 1: you and DP
Room 2: DC - presumably this includes 6yo
Room 3: SIL & BIL
Room 4: Empty

New plan:
Room 1: You and DP
Room 2: DC - why can’t this still include 6yo?
Room 3: BIL
Room 4: SIL

I can’t see how changing from the original plan to one where SIL is in the spare room would mean a child has to share with BIL?

The only way I can make this work is if the box room is actually some little glorified cupboard off one of the other bedrooms - although since the sibling's DP is staying in the original room assigned, and the sibling is the one proposing to take the boxroom, I still don't understand how that makes one of the children now have to share with them - or why it's only one child, since the two children are sharing, why isn't it both children?

In summary, this is stupid, and I agree with the sentiment of EXPLAIN BETTER

You're fucking with us aren't you 😂

DP has to bunk with my 6yo instead..

Why???????

Suspect OP's children can't actually share a room sensibly and she was hoping to use rooms 3 and 4... and now she can't. Nothing else makes sense.

@jd206 please put me out of my misery and explain why your 6 year old now needs to sleep in with your sister's partner? Your DC has a room? So confused...

Perhaps if you really want keep the box room free, sibling's partner could bunk in with you and your partner. Problem solved.

YABVU although I do wonder how the costs of the accomodation are being split. If it is 50:50 then only fair that sibling and partner get the box room.

Why does sibling's DP need to share - completely bonkers!

Oh good lord - got all this way to still NOT UNDERSTAND 😆😆😆😆

I've scrolled the whole thread to see if there was an answer.

OP, in your original plan, the one where sibling shares a room with her DP, where was your 6yo going to sleep? And why can they no longer sleep there?

Please, please just answer that.

I think so too. Would love to know who is paying what too.

Oh this is the best thread I've read in a while! 🤣

OP, why does one room need to be kept as 'spare' so desperately? Did you have plans for it? Have you split the bill 2/3 to 1/3 because they were only using one room, but now they might use two?

Otherwise who goes on holiday and requires an extra room just in case? Nuts!

The box room was always just a spare—not a main bedroom—so there was a reason for it not being assigned.

Let’s translate this:

“I want to keep the ‘spare’ room for one of my DC when they fight over sharing a room.”

YABU.

Yeah you're being mad and your sibling is not unreasonable, although if you were my sibling I wouldn't be going anywhere with you!
How in god's name does your sibling wanting to sleep in the 'spare' box room mean their DP then needs to sleep with your 6 yr old, it makes absolutely no sense.
Room 1: you & DH
Room 2: your DC
Room 3: your sibling's DP (or sibling)
Room 4 - the previously'spare' box room: your sibling or their DP
Yes, your sibling has altered things but unless there is a massive bit of I for you've yet to disclose then there is ABSOLUTELY no reason why one of them cant sleep in the spare room and no reason under the sun why any of this means their DP has to share with your DC?!!

@jd206 - why would your dc have to share with sisters dp?

you still have room one, sisters dp has room two, your dcs have room 3 - exactly as planned. Now sister will be in room 4. That was planned to be empty and now it’s not. It’s annoying you won’t have the benefit of a spare room, but no one else needs to change where they sleep. Your sister isn’t taking a bed that was someone else’s (so would be swapping) she’s taking the empty bed.

stop being odd.

I still don't understand why her DP has to share with your 6yo when there's a spare box room. Either your sis her DP or your 6yo go in the box room.

It would not be appropriate for your DC to share with your sister's DP. He would be better in with you and your DH.

The plot thickens. Come on OP, this makes no sense at all - TELL US THE TRUTH!

This is the most bizarre thread I've read all day. @jd206 you are completely mad.

When you go and stay in a hotel, do you book an extra room just in case someone needs to quarantine in the night?

room 1: The plan was that DH and I would have one room,

room 2: DCs in another,

Room 3: and my sibling and their DP in the third.

room 4: There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it

how does your sibling moving to room 4 result in siblings partner now sharing a room with a child? The children are in room 2. Partner is in room 3.

BUT YOUR KIDS WERE SHARING!!!

WHY IS YOUR 6yr OLD NOW IN WITH HER UNCLE?!

This sounds like a similar bonkers story that happened with my IL before I was with DH. I think although its really not clear, that MIL ended up sharing with BIL (her son in law). Various other friends and family were involved and I've heard versions of the story multiple times over the last 23 years and I'm still none the wiser! 🤣

There's something you're not explaining very well here. As far as we all can see there is no problem. You in one room, dc in another, sibling in the box room, her dp in their original room.

@jd206
Why can't BIL sleep on his own? Why do you want to send in your 6 year old who is supposed to sleep in bedroom number 2 with siblings? Is BIL anxious and needs company?

What if sis uses boxroom UNTIL someone gets sick? If she's OK with moving back in with her DP if someone gets sick will that be a solution? Or were you planning to use the boxroom secretly when everyone is asleep to drink/do drugs/watch porn? Or is there a secret lover you will hide there? Something werird is going on here and it's all about this box room...🫣

🤣

This 💯