To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

But if the boxroom was a spare and now isn't because of your sibling, why would siblings DP have to sleep with your dc, presumably still leaving the boxroom free? Why wouldnt they sleep in the boxroom and you just wouldnt have spare rooms? Most people book the amount of bedrooms they need for a trip. Booking one extra but then saying it can't be used feels like there must be some kind of backstory or additional information missing.

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

@jd206 You are being mad. Hope that helps 😂

@jd206 This makes zero sense.

Correct me if I am wrong but there are four bedrooms, inc the box room.

You and DH
Your DC
DS
DBIL

Why would one of your DC have to share with anyone else?

I've opened a beer

No one is going to be sharing with your 6 year old!!!! There is enough bedrooms for your sibling to have their own room and their husband to have their own room and your child to have their own room. WHY CANT YOU SEE THIS?????

Bring a pop up tent.

A large bottle of alcohol

A psychiatrist specialising in sibling rivalry.

Oh, I hoped for an excuse to break my drought. Damn you all <shakes fist at sky>

I don't get this at all.

Why does DC suddenly have to share with BIL? (which would be a complete no no anyway.)
Why can't BIL stay in the room he was originally going to share with SIL and kids stay in the room they were already allocated?

This is a reverse surely?

They aren’t proposing to share with your kid?

Theyre going to have DP in the spare box room?

Spare.

Sounds like actually you were going along with it being “spare” but actually intended to use it for yourself/your DC in which case you need to split the costs accordingly.

Can your siblings and sibling's OH just alternate between the room they were allocated and the 'spare' box room?

Why should everyone else be upended for what sounds like a unilateral decision which has taken the OH by surprise?

If the DP goes in the coal hole and the 6YO sleeps in a kitchen drawer, I think that’s Queen’s Gambit.

.

Maybe they booked a spare child in case one of their own is ill or need a break?

Oooh interesting!!!! This makes the most sense so far!

If there's a spare room her dp will sleep in there so why on earth will they be sharing with your DC? Why are so adamant that the room remains unused. I'm genuinely confused. Either I'm missing something, or your mad

Room 1 - you and DP
Room 2 - kids
Room 3 - partner
Box room - sister

This.

OP come back and explain why the six yr old now needs to share with sibling's DP.

This has to be a wind up.

Here to see how many different ways the OP can rephrase the same nonsense before the deletion.

But this imaginary scenario is making sense and sounding to be quite literally true.

Today was not particularly exciting on Mumsnet, thank you for changing that!

You're quite honestly making no sense.

The box room was empty because it wasn't needed. Now it is.

If its big enough to have someone use it when they're ill it's big enough to use when they're not ill

So now you & your husband have Room 1
Your kids - Room 2
Sister & BIL - Room 3 & boxroom
You're still getting a better deal having 2 good sized bedrooms

Sorted. No need for It to impact your kids. You've made an un necessary drama out if this

If you'd activated voting i think you'd see it would be 100% saying you're unreasonable

Ok it's time to call it. You are being unreasonable OP.

This is the very definition of unreasonable.

Future dictionaries will explain the meaning of unreasonable with a brief summary of 'the family holiday and THE SPARE ROOM'

You’re the one making things difficult, just don’t have a spare room. Also how are you splitting the cost of the accommodation?

Snaffle is a much underused word. I think if anything good is to come of this thread it’s that we should all pledge to use the word snaffle tomorrow

This makes no sense. Your DC had a bedroom and still has/have a bedroom. The spare room is occupied and one of the other couple is sleeping in the bedroom they were allocated. Sounds fine to me.