Page 11 | To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

jd206 · 2025-02-12T18:45:25+00:00

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous. We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it. Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well). I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?! DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue). So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here? *TL;DR:* Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

sunshineandshowers40 · 12/02/2025 19:33

I have read OPs posts a few times and it doesn't make sense. There are 4 bedrooms so why is siblings DP sharing with one of your DC? Why does there need to be a spare room?

Wonderi · 12/02/2025 19:33

Your child doesn’t need to share with your sister or her partner.

Your sister can stay in the room assigned to her and her DP can sleep in the spare bedroom.

Would you seriously consider your child sharing with an adult they barely know just so you can keep a room spare?

LipstickGhosts · 12/02/2025 19:34

PandaTime · 12/02/2025 19:32

Can I just point out that the OP's posts are all annoyingly gender-neutral so we have no idea if the space-hogging sibling is a man, a woman, or a furry, nor whether their partner is a man, woman, or whatever.

Yes, presumably OP kept it all gender neutral to make it all the more confusing!

Hankunamatata · 12/02/2025 19:34

Let's lay bets

Op wanted to sleep there as her husband snores
Op wants to put a kid in there to separate them
Op wants a room for nepharious reasons

Original poster

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

OP posts:

MathsMum3 · 12/02/2025 19:34

OMG. I just nipped out for half an hour after asking for clarification on page 1, came back and there's now 10 pages of comments, AND NOBODY IS ANY THE WISER!
But I'm invested now! OP - please explain why your sister's DP using the empty spare room means your son now has to share with a stranger!!

ValentineValentineV · 12/02/2025 19:35

Kitchen -everyone
bedroom 1- spare
bedroom 2- spare
bedroom 3- spare
bedroom 4- spare

Sunsetsandcocktails · 12/02/2025 19:35

Fuck me OP can you just explain why your kid has to share with your siblings DP?? Why isn’t your child sharing with your other child??

steff13 · 12/02/2025 19:35

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

No.

Pixilicious1 · 12/02/2025 19:35

Why is their DP without a bed? What about the bed in the room they have been allocated?

OswaldCobblepot · 12/02/2025 19:35

?

TheArtfulScreamer1 · 12/02/2025 19:35

To answer your original question yes you are being mad and your sibling isn't the ridiculous one in this scenario.

Rowen32 · 12/02/2025 19:35

OP had clearly marked the spare bedroom for her child all along and has told child so, now plans have changed and she's stuck

crumblingschools · 12/02/2025 19:35

Where is the other DC sleeping?

niadainud · 12/02/2025 19:36

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

FFS! Your sister's DP is not left without a sodding bed!

LipstickGhosts · 12/02/2025 19:36

ValentineValentineV · 12/02/2025 19:35

Kitchen -everyone
bedroom 1- spare
bedroom 2- spare
bedroom 3- spare
bedroom 4- spare

This is the only solution.

InsegnanteScozzese · 12/02/2025 19:36

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

Still as clear as mud. Is there no bed in the box room so so she's taking the previously shared bed with her?

SodOffbacktoaibu · 12/02/2025 19:36

Is it an elaborate game of musical chairs but with beds so if DP moves, a bed is taken away and now he has to share with your child?

guiling · 12/02/2025 19:36

This cannot be real...

Wonderi · 12/02/2025 19:36

The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

So who is in the spare bedroom?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/02/2025 19:36

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

If your sibling is in the box room, their DP will be in the room they should have originally shared with your sibling, @jd206. And your dc stay in the room they were originally supposed to have.

Everyone has a bed.

outerspacepotato · 12/02/2025 19:36

There's 3 bedrooms plus a spare room with a bed, the box room. Your sib has the box room, her partner has the 3rd bedroom or vice versa.

I would not let the partner sleep in a room with my kids. No go.

Why do you want the box room empty? This doesn't make sense.

Relocatethecockringsbeforethemormonsarrive · 12/02/2025 19:36

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

That isn't the only option though. There is no world in which her partner has to share with your child!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 12/02/2025 19:36

Merrygoround8 · 12/02/2025 19:22

This is a reverse surely?

They aren’t proposing to share with your kid?

Theyre going to have DP in the spare box room?

Spare.

Sounds like actually you were going along with it being “spare” but actually intended to use it for yourself/your DC in which case you need to split the costs accordingly.

This is the only explanation that makes any sense whatsoever.

OP was framing it as 'a spare - just in case anybody happens to need it' - i.e. nobody needs to pay extra to claim that room - but fully expecting it to be used by one of her DC, when they (conveniently) happen to 'feel a bit poorly'.

In fact, why would you even have children sharing and plan to leave a room unused in the first place? You would plan to use all the rooms and then chop and change if you had to, in the unlikely event that somebody gets too ill to be able to continue to share.

This is sounding very much like OP is really seeing this as her (nuclear) family's place, with her sister and her DH being allowed to tag along - but also conveniently paying for half of it. Why the protestations at not having a (genuinely) spare room otherwise?

This is reminding me of the old joke about the man who was stranded on an island for many years and, when he was finally rescued, the rescuers saw that he'd built himself all of the amenities that he could need: a cottage, a canteen, a gym, a food storehouse, a workshop, a study and two chapels. When they asked why one person needed two chapels, he pointed at one of them, with a look of disgust on his face, and said "THAT is the one that I don't go to!"

Ladylalaboo1 · 12/02/2025 19:36

jd206 · 12/02/2025 19:34

I get what you’re saying, but the issue is that my sibling has decided they must have the spare room to themselves, which means their DP is the one left without a bed. The only other option is for DP to share with one of my DCs, which obviously isn’t ideal!

If sibling had flagged this earlier, we could have worked out a better arrangement, but changing it last minute just puts everyone in an awkward position. I don’t see why my DC should have to accommodate their sudden preference not to share with their own DP!

Still doesn't make sense, if you had a room, kids had a room , sister and partner had a room and room spare , then sister goes in spare room, why does one of your children have to move out of the room they were in to go be in the one with your sisters partner??? UNLESS you are still wanting a spare room? That's all I can think but that's insane, surely this is a reason why the spare room is there for issues such as this that arise? Please explain because it's hurting my brain