School won’t/can’t do anything about SEN child causing distress

[Rantypanties]

I had a phone call from my child’s primary school stating that the SEN child in their class touched them & another child ‘over their clothes in their private area’. This is the 3rd incident of this nature happen in the class (first 2 were ‘tickling in that area’) and the 4th time something serious has happened that has involved him being sent home. It’s never witnessed by the teachers or his 121 assistant (but bullying at the school never seems to be so it’s not just this child).

The child is a lot taller and bigger than the children and although they’ve grown up with him for the past 3 years and they’ve all muddled along with no problems, there are now occasions where children have been scared of him chasing them/hitting out and shouting in class.

He has got a place at a local SEN school but apparently the LA won’t fund the transport for the 26 mile round trip so he can’t go according to his mum (they can’t afford the petrol and the dad’s banned from driving).

So my question is what can we do with a reluctant school? Can we, as parents, put the pressure on the LA to get his transport fully funded so this child can get the best out of his schooling and move to a school more suited to his needs. The school are keen to downplay the incident and I’ve seen the child is back in school today so I’m not sure what lesson has been learnt here, but they obviously cannot cope if he’s being left long enough to touch other children inappropriately and scare children into not wanting to play outside because he’s out there.

Just looking for advice because it seems to me this is escalating and something needs to be done for the safety of all of children in the class.

"It's not confidential tibtell you how theu will safeguard your child
Obviously theu can't discuss the disabled child with you
But they can and should tell you how they will keep your child safe."

They don't though. I am told this child has risk assessments which include care plans to control his behaviour and I have no right to know what those are because they are confidential.

My child is covered by that risk assessment too.

The results of abuse are exactly the same, the intent of the perpetrator is completely irrelevant.
And none of the children are being properly looked after here, the victims of this behaviour matter just as much as the child who needs a different setting.

Absolutely.

In 10 years, will there be ongoing consequences for the kids who’ve been groped at school? We don’t know, of course, but I’d be willing to bet that anyone touching you inappropriately when you’re so young will cause long term effects.

@Poppins21 I agree that more should be done, I just don't agree with the suggestion that you should call the police on a child with a neurodevelopmental disorder. What would that achieve?

As mentioned before I have an NT son who had this and was being grabbed inappropriately at school and he was upset. The school dealt with it, but I also have a son who is disabled who may well do this too. I see both sides. They do teach this in special school as my disabled son has had these lessons and it is obviously taught in a way that is easier to understand. This is why it is important that the LA don't avoid their legal duties and fund transport.

I don't think anyone thinks the child should be left to assault people, but making stereotypical judgements about parenting or suggesting the police are called on the child is not really going to solve the problem. It sounds like the mum needs support to fight for her child's rights more than anything. Due to lack of resources across the board you really do have to fight. That includes the schools too.

1 to 1 a child with ND can be exhausting, so the TAs and support in place need to be rotated too, and proper training given.

Ultimately the law allows for these grey areas and people aren't advised of their rights. The entire SEND system needs to change.

People pedalling stereotypes about disabled children and their parents/carers like I have seen on these boards is just going to allow the system to stay the same and not change. It plays right into the hands of people who don't want to fix it.

SEN or not, your child was sexually assaulted. I would move heaven and earth to ensure that the offender was nowhere near my child going forward. If that means being the worst version of yourself possible, so be it. Your responsibility is to your child and your child alone. Harsh but true. Show them you have their back.

LEA/LADO/Ofsted if necessary, local PCSO involvement if mainstream police won’t do anything. Log everything officially with the school and your GP. Try social services if you think the SEN child themselves is also a victim. Do not stop and do not give in until this is resolved. Do not minimize or allow others to minimize. Good luck.

How judgy !!! This parent could be epileptic or have sleep apnoea. There may be many reasons a parent could be banned from driving.

Read all of OP's posts.
Do not judge her for calling him ''Awful'. He is.

That’s not a ban; that’s a licence revoke on medical grounds.

Bans are for serious speeding, drug driving, drink driving, dangerous driving etc.

The problem with going to the police is that the police have very limited powers to act with what I assume is an under 8 yr old - given OP implies they've been in school for 3 years - and limited scope within school.

Police will just refer the OP / child back to LA children's services / school.

The complaints system is not just about 'getting it logged' it is about how to move things forward. The OP cannot make demands to the school or the LA about someone else's child. They can make demands about their own child and their safety in school.

And to those demanding the parents remove the 'problem' child from school whilst other arrangements are made... this is absolutely THE WORST thing the parents can do for that child as if they are removed from the school role they are deemed 'home schooled' and at which point the LA are no longer responsible for their education or the upholding of their EHCP - it all just stops and the kid is left at home. It would definitely not get them any closer to special school transport.

I stand corrected. Just want to say any addiction is an illness though and needs a bit of compassion. I’d better stop there though as I’m derailing the thread. Sorry

Calling the police would hopefully get the school to take appropriate action- not to just arrest a child? It may ensure social services are involved and the LA lives up to its statutory duty.

There must be some legal recourse for the op as her child had been failed by the school?

Absolutely true.
A child being assaulted by another child doesn't care that the one doing the abuse/assault has ''needs'' .

It doesn't make the assault any less distressing.

"They’ve presumably been in mainstream schooling for the last few years so I don’t think we’re talking about someone with a literal 2 year old’s understanding level."

It is quite common for children with that level of understanding to be in mainstream primary, sometimes right through to the end of primary.

Both children have Been failed by the school and the LA.

The police are likely going to refer back to the LA
As they can't arrest a disabled child with no understanding of their actions
The onus here is in the school and the LA who are neglecting in their duty to keep all children safe.

They would just ask the OP to go social services, which she can do anyway. I just don't think it's appropriate.

I understand it's distressing as my son was assaulted too, but the important thing is making suggestions that work and not sending the OP off in all directions. It is a safeguarding issue and the school need to come up with a plan and the LA need to understand the impact of their law breaking and penny pinching.

Posting this on the special needs thread would have been better as there are people who know the system better.

It’s really sad that this failure has let children be assaulted in school- which should be a happy safe space. The only thing I can say is the British state school system seems broken and I am glad we don’t have to use it. I have no idea how it can be fixed or if anybody who can wants to. But I would be horrified if my daughter was exposed to groping in private parts at her school and I was fobbed off with excuses.

Having run a preschool where we had SEN children attend - some successfully and some not so successfully, which was dependent on a number of factors - the school’s hands are pretty tied. They will be told by the SEN team at the LA that they need to deal with it - we had a situation with a much larger child (still preschool age though) who the other children were terrified of due to his behaviour. The LA advised us to ‘sit all the children in a circle and roll a ball to each other, the SEN child included. Bless them, they were unable to sit still, let alone in a circle to roll a ball to another child. We nearly got into huge trouble because one day we had to move all of the children into the neighbouring hall as it was a particularly bad day for this child - we weren’t being ‘inclusive’.

So the school is basically screwed unless the child is taken out. This is a LA issue and they should be dealing with it - at the moment, the SEN child and all the others in their class do not have access to the education they should be getting, and that is down to the LA. Personally, I would also be a little concerned about safeguarding outside of school too. No kid of that age should be watching films like that, and a SEN child is classed as vulnerable so definitely shouldn’t. If theres also exposure to drugs, sexual conduct that’s inappropriate and other things that any child of that age shouldn’t be seeing, that to me would be a safeguarding issue.

And this is my point - can the LA not be held accountable? Calling the police, logging issues isn’t to arrest a child. The LA has been negligent and put children in a vulnerable position to be attacked. This failing should have criminal ramifications for the LA if failings in management can be shown? This is not advice it’s questions- as something has to change. Not playing parents off against each other.

Just as an FYI, The conservative government prevented local authorities from expanding or building new maintained schools, including specialist schools. Only academy trusts or free schools can do this.

Cherchez le Tory policy....

The (lack of) intent is very relevant when so many posters are advocating calling the police every time/every day.

My LA asked for a new special school to be built or a site found as there were over 200 children in need of a place. The DofE under Tories said no. Sadly I don't think Labour will do any better either.

I would certainly hold the LA accountable - but unfortunately I suspect it will go nowhere. The police are unlikely to try or even think about bringing charges against a LA - they just don’t have the clout (nor I suspect the desire) to do so. The system is irrevocably broken at the moment- hence why I used to run a preschool and no longer do!

I would suggest the only option open to the OP is to go to the local safeguarding team, but that will then escalate to involving the parents/ school/ probably Ofsted too so it’s whether she wants to go down this route.