I have the money for repairs but cannot face dealing with trades. AIBU to just live in the house as it is

[Eastie77Returns]

Just that really. Bought the house a few years ago. I had threads going at the time about my horrendous experience with Trades. In one particular case (main builder) the police ended up getting involved. We thankfully found decent builders to fix his awful work but even they made errors and ruined some of our new flooring with paint.

We did find some good trades: a Carpenter who did our in wardrobes and shelves, the joiner who put in our doors, the flooring team. They were amazing. But the guys we employed for the bigger stuff…it was awful.

Eventually we ran out of cash and just accepted we would live with the shoddy work we couldn’t fix. Now I’ve inherited some money and I’m in a position to get stuff fixed and add a loft conversion. However I’ve decided for the benefit of my mental health that I cannot do it. I cannot face dealing with Trades again. The lies, the dishonesty, the unprofessionalism. It’s too much. I feel it’s inevitable I’ll be ripped off and a loft conversion will involve so much time, money and disruption.

On the other hand, the house looks shabby. It is a bit embarrassing having guests round when so much needs doing.. The walls already need repainting, skirting boards are awful. The house needs a glow up. I am not handy and neither is DP so we cannot do it ourselves. And we really do need the extra room the conversion will bring. I don’t trust any trades.

The funny thing is I do actually like the house. It has grown on me. It’s old but I like the character. I just feel a bit depressed when I look at the grubby walls and all the bits that need doing.

I’m not even sure what my AIBU is. Should I just live in the house as it is for now and protect my well being?

There's a divide on this thread and in society in general.

Not everyone wants to do DIY.
Team A - you can do it all yourself, just watch YouTube, I've knocked walls down replastered, painting is easy.
Team B- I can't do it due to time or health / I don't want to do it, I want to pay someone else to do it.

I can afford to pay someone to do the stuff I can't or don't want to. It shouldn't be that hard.
I used to decorate the whole house. Cost isn't the issue, we had a decorator for 30 years but he's retired so I now have to find someone. I now have health issues that mean I have pain and fatigue so it's very difficult to DIY.

I tried many times to find female builders, carpenters, electricians and plumbers. A lot seemed to be up North (well done up there!) but there were few and far between everywhere else.

Going to look at the Stopcocks site now. Anyone else have a site with female trades of any type that is current?

I haven't had anywhere near the issues people here have had, but I still agree with you!

I'm trying again to get somewhere to sort out a roofing issue - should be fairly simple, and it's single storey so no scaffolding involved.

Tried on and off to get the job done over the last FOUR YEARS. Tried all the local recommendations - either don't show, turn up then ghost, turn up quote then ghost, agree to do the job then never turn up, ot turn up at on a different day/time to agreed complaining that no one answered. No shit, I was at work. I would have thought tradies out of anyone would understand that not all jobs can be done from home.

Annoyingly our patronising neighbours keep pointing out the roof issue, as though they think we're just a bit too young and stupid to realise it needs fixing.

I feel for you. I live on a hospital road and have on-road parking. Every day we have taxis taking up spaces and people visiting not wanting to pay hospital parking, so I decided to put in a drive (like everyone else in the road). Like you I have tried for 3 years to get quotes and failed. As you say many don't even bother to turn up to quote! I've also got issues with a leaking roof/guttering and no takers for that even after posting on Check-a-trade.

@Germanymunch honestly it's worse than online dating! If they don't want the work why can't they just say when I ring that they're not taking on at the minute? Or cancel if they're not planning to turn up? I shouldn't have to keep chasing and rearranging, they're supposed to be professionals.

We have money ready, we're not arguing about prices (would rather pay more for quality) and we're flexible at about timings but it's just dire.

I don'tmind male strangers. I wouldn't mind green strangers from Mars if they would come when they say they will and do a good job

I understand your reluctance. I have had some bad experiences over the years. DH has dementia and there is a certain type of tradesman who thinks we are a soft touch. I have done well recently using the Checkatrade app/process. I think it will depend on areas a bit but the basic idea is you check some pictures, describe the job and put it on the app. Give yourself a name which could be used by either sex and then you can agree a price online. For me that means no haggling with the tradesperson present and you will not get done because they think you are a woman and know nothing. More to the point, I have had some really good work done.

Not a site, but I can DM you a good female plumber and painter/decorator's details if you're in north/east-ish London.

My friend’s extension and kitchen renovation was a nightmare because in her words the builders were bad but the Project Manager was even worse.

She was prepared for the disorganised Trades but the PM who couldn’t actually manage anything was a revelation.

I feel everyone’s pain. My house repairs and improvements are very difficult to manage due to disability. I wouldn’t be able to paint a wall for example. My partner hates DIY!. I watch YouTube videos which give me an idea of what’s needed, I think they make me sound better informed when talking to trades people. I have the money for a much needed kitchen renovation but it’s so daunting…

I think that the stream of programmes about perfect houses or intrepid renovations, have raised the bar for all of us, and it’s making us unhappy.

If I have a job needing doing, I search registers of trades people, ranking them by nearest first. As a lot of trades use their home address as their office, this has often got me people who say they’ll call in ‘on their way home’

For bigger jobs usually have to wait for good people. The guy who installed my bathroom was booked 2 years in advance and didn’t advertise.

When I feel happy with someone’s work, I pay as soon as they invoice me. Establishing myself as an easy customer!

Most of the things I’ve had done have been ok, the worst was a ( female) decorating company.

It’s all a big stress and chore though!

I have ADHD and know my limitations. I'm generally good with toilets and can fix most issues but my high level cistern doesn't have enough clearance for me to be able to do anything without draining the tank, removing it and fixing it on the floor. It's too heavy and I can't do this on my own (I live alone).

When my flush broke, I rang loads of so-called plumbers. I live rurally and they either didn't cover my area, only did central heating or could get to me in about six months (meanwhile I am flushing the only toilet in my house with buckets of water). In the end I rang one of the expensive 'we come same day' plumbers and told them it was a split membrane which needed replacing. Guy comes out at the cost of £150 plus a fortune per hour to fix, and hadn't been told what was wrong and therefore couldn't fix it! So I paid £150 for someone to come and do nothing!

And when they dont get the work (as shown on here by the reluctance to employ them and put up with their shit) they turn to the social housing sector because they know the tenants cant refuse.

I feel the same. I had a new kitchen fitted 2 years ago. I was without a kitchen sink and a cooker for a week. It was a nightmare doing the washing up in the bathroom sink as i don't have a toilet downstairs. I got sick of micro meals, salads etc.

Yes the good ones do not advertise which is the problem in itself and are not readily available. We had a 8 month wait for the brilliant guy who did our built in shelves but we were happy to wait for him. We called him back to fit wardrobes and it was a similar wait time.

He was also the only Trades in living memory I actually had to chase in order to make payment! He finished up and left after a solid 12 hours of work, said he’d send me bank details and then…nothing. I had to email and reminded him twice?! And this was for thousands of pounds worth of work. DP reckons he must be obscenely wealthy and just does the odd bit of work for fun😂

I'd take a middle ground: just hang on until you find someone who is trustworthy, maybe an individual, friend or a friend, someone a neighbour's used, just... someone who isn't a random! It might take a while but it's your home. (I also just decided to live in quite a tatty home, not for any bad drama, but just because building work affects home life too much.)

Aww, you’re so kind. I must admit that I saw your username before reading your message and I immediately thought ‘’what an amazing coincidence, my post is actually about this poster’s username 😀😀’’

When the electrician was struggling to drill the hole in the wall to fit the extractor fan, I popped in the bathroom to see what was going on and saw that the hole was being drilled in concrete. I had no idea what a lintel was, but something didn’t feel right, so I started to Google why i had concrete above my window when the rest of my walls were made of bricks, Within minutes I was reading that you are absolutely not meant to interfere with the lintel in any way. I panicked, tried to stop him, I told him what I’d read online but he wouldn’t have it, because he was a professional and I was just some silly woman reading Google. 😞
I didn’t have the lintel checked after the work was complete, but I looked at the wall inside and outside the house and I can’t see any cracks. So I assume it’s ok?

Thanks, I'm further south though so sadly probably no good.

I'm a lone elderly woman too.
I can't do work myself as my mobility isn't good enough.
I've been using the same tradespeople since I moved in just over 7 years ago. They all came via my friend's recommendation and they'd been working for her for years when I started using them.
They're all local and happy to recommend someone else if they're too busy to tackle something.
When I had a new kitchen they started just after I went on holiday. When I got back it was all done!

The consumer organisation Which has a scheme called Trusted Tradesmen, where they assess tradesmen who want to join the scheme.
I don't know anyone who has used it though.

Yep, we have had similar a number of times. So much so that we try our best to fix everything ourselves/do everything ourselves now. I swear pre 2010s it never used to be like this. When we were moving into our first house (1990s) we went on holiday and left a spare key with the carpet and flooring people, and also a painting and decorating company. Came home a week later, and the place was immaculate. All shiny new paintwork and new wallpaper, and new carpets throughout.

Did the same with the next house too. And for other jobs we used tradies too. We have always been busy professionals who don't have the time - or the inclination to do shit round the house. So we outsource it. Why not? People outsource for loads!

These days though (mid 2010s onwards,) 'tradies' seem to be largely shit. Really pleased to see (on reading this thread) that it's not just me/us who find most of them impossible!

A few Tradesmen are OK, but some are just shite. DH and I have recently had a bit of a bad experience ... Wanted the house painting and decorating inside, (CBA to do it ourselves as it's so tedious, and as I said, people outsource for all sorts of things!) We rang FOUR companies. Two didn't get back to us, and one came to look and said he would send us a quote via email in 7-8 days! He didn't.

So anyway, the fourth one - a certain small-ish company in our town came around, and gave us an on the spot quote. Said they would be here Monday 3rd Feb, and it would take 4-5 days to do it all.. We spent almost a week in late January (probably 25-30 man hours) clearing everything out and putting stuff in the garage, and conservatory, and we feel like we have been living in a skip.

Everything is everywhere/upside down etc, and hardly any of our stuff is handy - it's nearly all boxed up. (Half our furniture is in the garage!) AND we booked the week off work. Well, the fuckers never turned up! I rang them multiple times on the Monday (3rd Feb,) and they didn't answer. Next day one of them rang me and said they had got dates mixed up, and would be there week commencing 17th Feb. 2 weeks later!

I told them to not bother. I said we have booked this week off now, and everything is boxed up/out of the way. We're not living like this for an extra 2 weeks! Also, we have plans/meetings for that week! So just no. No way are leaving them alone in our house while we're at work. Despite the fact we hate painting and decorating, we have been doing it ourselves now. Taking ages, but it's coming together.

Saves us a load of £££, even if it will take us several weeks. Obviously there are some things you can't do without a skilled tradesman, but painting and decorating you can. It's just tedious and time consuming (IMO.) And very disruptive, as all your shit needs to leave the house/be boxed up.

Could you not just give your place a lick of paint yourself @Eastie77Returns ??? (As a few others have said, and leave bigger things until you desperately need them?)

I really don't think organisations such as Trusted Tradesmen are failsafe. There are threads on MN from people completely ripped off by cowboy builders they found on Checkatrade, Rated People etc. There are builders who are competent at some things and awful at after tasks so they might have a good rating after successfully installing a patio and then you take them on for a refurb and it's a nightmare.

I think the best thing is to avoid the "jack of all trades" builders and focus on Trades who are narrowly focused on a single line of expertise. With the horrendous experience I've had I would avoid anyone who claimed to be able to do lots. The terrible builder who wrecked part of my house was actually a really good furniture maker. Why on earth he thought that meant he was qualified to do e.g. install radiators or pipes (they ALL leaked) is beyond me. Lesson learned.

I think I am going to provisionally book in the loft conversion for March next year. The team seems so nice but I am already anxious even though absolutely nothing is actually happening

YANBU. I'm the same way. Would rather live in a shithole then try and deal with tradesmen. It's just so much stress and aggravation and you can't even be sure they will do a decent job anyways.
Luckily I have very low standards and will happily live with things that would drive others nuts!

Can't even trust personal recommendations half the time. A friend lost a small fortune after employing a builder who had years of experience and was a family friend.....at least until he scammed them!

Even employing reputable people can turn into a disaster. I'm convinced that the company who did my windows last year were normally very good. However they mismeasured one window, broke a pane of glass and one of the workers broke a section of my roof! By the time they had paid for the new windows and to fix the roof they actually made a loss on my job! (And my stress levels were through the roof!).

Could you not just give your place a lick of paint yourself

Painting my house would be a huge task - well it would be for me anyway.

I understand painting itself might not be difficult but it’s all the logistics around it. Moving furniture, laying down floor protection, buying and preparing paint, prepping walls..the logistics about where to sleep when paint is drying in bedrooms. I don’t understand why people think working parents with young children would just easily be able to do this…

I understand. It's doable for us, as we have no small children about - just one slightly naughty cat! 😆But even then it's stressful!

But yeah, you're right about the disruption, and all the prep, and where to put everything; it's stressing me out, and we're not even half way done yet! Been a tip in our house for about 3 weeks now!!!!!!! (And will be for at least another 2 weeks.)

Then everything has to be put back. Think we may chuck some stuff out actually/have a clear out. I have already done a cull on my books. I had about 200 paperbacks. I got rid of around 60 two weeks ago. (Just collecting dust really! I have read them all! I just like to see a house with lots of books!)

We don't have a massive house, and extra tat and crap just creates clutter/more work/cleaning. And 200 books collects lots of dust! We are going to go through the CDs, DVDs, and ornaments and the like too when we bring it all back in. See if we can get rid of more shite! 😬

The only thing I can think of if you are stressed about where to sleep etc, is maybe do one room at a time? One room every few months til it's done? Only a suggestion of course, and I understand if you feel that is too much too.

I’m really sorry that guy put you in that position. So frustrating! I’m not a building professional and don’t know the details of how to calculate the strength of a lintel with a hole in it. Personally, I would try to find someone who is and get them to judge its safety. As a first step, you could post a picture & description here in Property/DIY and see what people think. For me, if the hole took out 1/3 of the height of the lintel or if I considered the hole large in relation to the lintel height and it met the top or bottom edge of the lintel, I’d treat it as a matter of urgency, but either way, I personally would do some extra research to reassure myself that it’s not a problem.