I have the money for repairs but cannot face dealing with trades. AIBU to just live in the house as it is

[Eastie77Returns]

Just that really. Bought the house a few years ago. I had threads going at the time about my horrendous experience with Trades. In one particular case (main builder) the police ended up getting involved. We thankfully found decent builders to fix his awful work but even they made errors and ruined some of our new flooring with paint.

We did find some good trades: a Carpenter who did our in wardrobes and shelves, the joiner who put in our doors, the flooring team. They were amazing. But the guys we employed for the bigger stuff…it was awful.

Eventually we ran out of cash and just accepted we would live with the shoddy work we couldn’t fix. Now I’ve inherited some money and I’m in a position to get stuff fixed and add a loft conversion. However I’ve decided for the benefit of my mental health that I cannot do it. I cannot face dealing with Trades again. The lies, the dishonesty, the unprofessionalism. It’s too much. I feel it’s inevitable I’ll be ripped off and a loft conversion will involve so much time, money and disruption.

On the other hand, the house looks shabby. It is a bit embarrassing having guests round when so much needs doing.. The walls already need repainting, skirting boards are awful. The house needs a glow up. I am not handy and neither is DP so we cannot do it ourselves. And we really do need the extra room the conversion will bring. I don’t trust any trades.

The funny thing is I do actually like the house. It has grown on me. It’s old but I like the character. I just feel a bit depressed when I look at the grubby walls and all the bits that need doing.

I’m not even sure what my AIBU is. Should I just live in the house as it is for now and protect my well being?

I get you OP. Either people don't remember what it's like to be working with small kids or they never did. A lot of people have pretty demanding jobs as well as having kids these days, and it's very different to even a few years ago. If I was YouTubing how to build some wardrobes after a long day at work plus nursery pick up, bath, bedtime etc for the kids I think I'd have a nervous breakdown. Like you, I just want tradespeople to do their fucking jobs to a high standard for their customers, like I do for my clients at work. That's how the economy should work, isn't it? People have a certain skill set and they're paid by others who don't. I wouldn't expect my plumber to be watching YouTube about how to navigate his way round my area of the law so why should I be trying to learn his profession in my free time? Eugh.

I'm glad I found this thread. We need work doing to the ceiling above our stairs where the roof leaked but it's so high and wide that we'll need internal scaffolding for anyone to reach it. We just look down a lot in the meantime, it's been like it for a few years now!

Had a new bathroom 4 years ago and the workmen were great and turned up every day without fail but it was still a huge intrusion for nearly 3 weeks, trying to fit a poo in when they weren't around was awful!!

Nrtft but have to agree about non English trades people being better.

Also love the idea of having a female in. Found a female gardener on Nextdoor that I was going to use.

But we need more females for the indoor jobs!

This is me too!

I have the money for the work sitting there ready to go. Had a shocking time with the trades that repaired my wooden windows last year. Then I got some quotes for exterior painting and was about to organise it when I found out my road would be having repairs done for months.

My other issue is I live alone and work full time with no WFH available. Then there’s my dog who will need to live with my parents while work is being done. It’s all just a huge hassle but getting quotes and finding reliable trades is definitely the hardest part. Sometimes I even miss renting 😮

I totally understand OP. I've not had particularly bad past experiences but the stress and hassle of having work done to the house is hideous.

We need the children's bathroom to be replaced and have in fact bought all the fixtures and fittings for this (we have a large study in the garden which is handy for storing it), but we are struggling to find anyone to fit it.

I feel like I can't be bothered to pursue it - endless phone calls chasing them up, and then the mess, noise, disruption and inconvenience while they actually do the work. I suppose we'll have to just get through it eventually, but I really don't have the time or headspace for dealing with trades.

This 100% is the best way forward, to hire someone whose work you've seen and customers are happy with. It will save you time and effort in the long run to wait for them to be available rather than dealing with the aftermath of a shoddy job.
I can also recommend the TaskRabbit app to find handyman type people for small jobs like putting furniture together, putting up curtain rails etc.

Register of Tradeswomen
registeroftradeswomen.com
Register of Tradeswomen: Home

Try a woman- less bullshit all round.

Yep. I understand the well meaning advice to ‘just do it yourself’ but when do people think a FT working parent can do this? My day starts at 6am (granted I spent time this morning on MN lol) and ends anytime between 10-11pm. Weekends are busy. And honestly, when I do get some down time the last thing I want to do is take out a paintbrush or box of tools. I do actually like to spend time with my DC😭

I don’t have any interest in learning these skills tbh so I wouldn’t have any motivation when sitting in front of YouTube following along as Dave shows me how to size and fit a flipping skirting board, inviting me to Like his channel so he can send me more fascinating clips on how to plaster, render and lay flooring. No!!

I have found my people! I have found trying to get even small things done so stressful I am really avoiding it.
Although to give credit where it's due I have also had some really helpful tradespeople. A local plumber who always comes when he says he will and as far as I can see gets the job done. He is a one man business though so if he doesn't call me back after I've left a message I never know whether he's on holiday or just busy and I find it stressful knowing how long to leave it before calling again. Also have a very helpful tree surgeon/gardener. Agree about local recommendations not being reliable - had one enthusiastic recommendation from a good friend for someone who was awful.
I am more than capable of painting in theory but the main area that needs doing is the open plan living/dining area and there is so much kids clutter that it would be a massive mission to move it all to paint around dealing with them and working. I don't understand people saying painting is an easy and quick job, it takes ages to move everything, clean the walls, cover everything up, clean brushes afterwards etc etc. Also husband has no interest in any sort of house improvement unless essential repairs so he would be all grumpy about any disruption to his Tv watching spot if I start moving things around because I want the room painted. The other room that looks really awful is the room where one of us works full time from home (no office option) so again it would be really disruptive to do anything with it.

I was exactly the same I was conned out if 10k and it absolutely destroyed me. We needed a new kitchen and roof and I couldn’t bear the thought of having a trades man in again but the work needed to be done, so I collected many many quotes and vetted them all if I had an off feeling they’re went, if they didn’t have a branded van they went and so on. I think you need to do the same, you can go and view there work usually and look at reviews. I’ve just had a good experience with my roofer I’ll let you know how the kitchen guy goes to see if my method works 😬

I'm in the same position. Being a lone, elderly woman, I find bad tradespeople have a field day ripping me off. I know from experience that they deal with men in a totally different manner.

My house is now a wreck and i'm constantly in a tizzy about what to do. I don't have a solution for you, but want you to know that I deeply sympathise.

@Gabitule Did you have anyone look at your lintel after it was abused like this? I’ve created an account just to encourage you to get it checked out if you haven’t already. Lintels are a structural component of a building and are designed to support the weight of the walls and roof above the window opening. Drilling out quite a large hole could compromise the lintel’s integrity. Hopefully it’s all good, but it’s not the kind of area you want holes drilled.

I feel the same op. When I was younger (I’m 44 now) and had endless energy and enthusiasm for it all I’d decorate rooms myself, wallpaper etc but now I’m just burnt out with it all and the last thing I want to do with my downtime is be up ladders painting etc. And I don’t fancy having people in the house doing it all for me either, too intrusive and stressful. I used to look at houses on rightmove that hadn’t had anything “done” to them for years and years and be quite judgey but now I absolutely get it.

Yes, I'm also in the same boat! One horrendous experience resulting in police involvement too, plus others doing shoddy work, or not turning up to either quote, start or finish the work etc etc.

And now I'm living vicariously through the noise and disruption of renovation work from neighbours, with next door's 6 month extension just finished and now next door-but-one starting a 2 storey renovation!

Moving to a new build sounds very appealing, even though it will need maintaining, hopefully major work won't be needed for a few years down the line!

I've been looking into tiny homes. I love city centre living and find tiny homes and mobile homes are all located in places that require a car of buses to get to the supermarket. Not everyone wants peace and quiet. I want the buzz and wish someone would come up with a tiny home project in London.

I am the same but I also just hate having tradesmen in the house full stop, even those that are nice and do a good job.

My bathroom badly needs replacing to a shower room, it's the last room in the house to be done but I only have the one loo and the thought of not having a functioning bathroom for a week or even two, is just a step too far.

I can put it off for a few more years I think, but I'm getting older and clambering into the bath to have a shower might become a bit more challenging if my mobility should ever become compromised.

I'm annoyed at myself for feeling like this but short of moving, I will probably just have to woman up at some point in the future and get it done even if it means checking into a hotel for the duration. 😩

I think you should bite the bullet and get the work done BUT I also think you must get tradespeople who others have used recently to carry out similar work, and can recommend. Quite often you will have to wait for them as they will be busy. Wait.

I wouldn't let anyone do any work in my home unless someone I know well and whose opinion I value can recommend them. The risk otherwise is too great. Reviews online count for nothing.

That's really kind of you, welcome to mnet! x

I need lots of things done and have been putting all of them off as I hate the general intrusion. However, I do my own painting and I'd be happy to get someone to do skirting boards as that isn't very intrusive. If you just start to paint it you will feel better about it as it will look clean and fresh, it's very easy as long as you have enough time in a day to get into it. It's also a fraction of the cost of getting someone else to do it!

Yeah, I don’t have much time either and would much rather spend free time chilling out. I do know what you mean. Single parent working full time albeit with older kids.

Ive ended up using annual leave to get stuff done myself. It’s still preferable (to me) than getting uselesses in for small or medium jobs.

We had a total reno done by builders we found online with good references, on a flat we bought 100 miles away, so most communication was by email and fortnightly visits. They were great. Used them three or four years later when we now lived near to another property being renovated and they were a nightmare! Got us running around for them, asked really stupid questions and tbh don’t think their work was brilliant. What a change in a few years!

I (eventually, six weeks after it stopped working) got a man in at GREAT expense to fix the flush on my high-level cistern toilet. He completely replaced all the elements and the toilet worked beautifully. For about three months. Now we're a year on and the flush isn't working properly again. I simply can't face (or afford) someone to come out and spend hours doing something if it's only going to work for a few weeks.

So I just jiggle the little arm until it works. I may have to continue until either the toilet goes - or I do.

Well this thread probably tells us the only people who have benefitted from Brexit. Trades now have all the work they want and more and they don't need to care whether they do a decent job or not.

Oh God, I hear you! My DP and I don't really have the time, and I have a chronic pain and weakness condition so am very limited in what I could do anyway.
We had a horrendous experience with some 'recommended' roofers years ago. Not going into it here, but it was highly stressful and expensive.
I do now have a great plumber and a great decorator (both British, as it happens), and they've sorted out my bathroom and so far painted a few rooms (we don't have that much money so have to do things in bits), but we could do with some carpentry, windows replaced and some new carpets, and I just can't face finding someone and then dealing with them.
I want a project manager, basically. But how do you know if you've even got a good one of those?