I have the money for repairs but cannot face dealing with trades. AIBU to just live in the house as it is

[Eastie77Returns]

Just that really. Bought the house a few years ago. I had threads going at the time about my horrendous experience with Trades. In one particular case (main builder) the police ended up getting involved. We thankfully found decent builders to fix his awful work but even they made errors and ruined some of our new flooring with paint.

We did find some good trades: a Carpenter who did our in wardrobes and shelves, the joiner who put in our doors, the flooring team. They were amazing. But the guys we employed for the bigger stuff…it was awful.

Eventually we ran out of cash and just accepted we would live with the shoddy work we couldn’t fix. Now I’ve inherited some money and I’m in a position to get stuff fixed and add a loft conversion. However I’ve decided for the benefit of my mental health that I cannot do it. I cannot face dealing with Trades again. The lies, the dishonesty, the unprofessionalism. It’s too much. I feel it’s inevitable I’ll be ripped off and a loft conversion will involve so much time, money and disruption.

On the other hand, the house looks shabby. It is a bit embarrassing having guests round when so much needs doing.. The walls already need repainting, skirting boards are awful. The house needs a glow up. I am not handy and neither is DP so we cannot do it ourselves. And we really do need the extra room the conversion will bring. I don’t trust any trades.

The funny thing is I do actually like the house. It has grown on me. It’s old but I like the character. I just feel a bit depressed when I look at the grubby walls and all the bits that need doing.

I’m not even sure what my AIBU is. Should I just live in the house as it is for now and protect my well being?

Something I came across in (England) is that each Council has a preferrred set of traders in their area who they endorse (under the Trading Standards banner)- they have been inspected, and they have to adhere to processes such as providing proper quotes a 14 day cooling off period, no paying until the end of the job etc. I need to replace some windows before Xmas and went this route and was happy with the result. Can't tell you the number of times I have been ripped off by various tradesman - particularly if it involves a roof. I have learnt to do alot over the years and only use tradesman now - where I actually have to.

I feel the same but I've lived in my house for 35 years. I have loads of ideas how I want it but I dread making the call. I haven't had bad experiences unless you count them not turning up when they say they will especially when it's just for quotes.

Although I have had an electrician around a few days ago for a quote (he was late) I'm still apprehensive. Then I'll have to get a plasterer, plumber to move a radiator, carpenter (one I've used in the past), painter and decorator then carpet fitter just for one room! Been putting this off for about 10 years and I'm dreading how to navigate it.

Just to add, it’s kind of a relief to know it’s fairly common to hate having strangers in the house, get quotes etc. I get very stressed whenever we have to have any kind of tradesperson in, we had an electrician looking for a fault recently and he literally went everywhere in the house and had to pull out furniture that hadn’t been moved in a decade - it was mortifying even though he was very nice about it.

Luckily my Dh is very good at most DIY jobs, he knows his limits so we get plumbers and electricians in if needed. A few years back we had major renovations in a house we owned. They left us for 6 weeks with a boarded up patio window and a huge gap at the side of it which led into the cavity wall. One of our cats went missing. We could hear the meows and eventually realised he was between the two walls. Asked a neighbour to help, he was a builder, he said well it's just a cat, leave it. My husband and I took the newly built outer wall down brick by brick until we could rescue our cat. When our builders eventually re-appeared they were not happy at the damage we had caused!! Never again. We both do the DIY and if it is an emergency we get in a trades person.

I'll tell you what I have decided about builders. Apart from the obvious, (poor planning, buggering off to do another job, poor communication, going over budget, demanding more money etc etc), they cannot do all of the things. You need a specialist in each area, to concentrate on their bit which they are skilled in and will come and do that one part of the job, hopefully properly.
When we get our lounge done, I am going to hire, in this order:
Brickie
Plasterer
Carpenter
Decorator
Flooring person

If this strategy doesn't work I give up. It's a headache for sure.

The problem with this (in my experience) is that people just tag their own business/their cousin/friend/uncle's mate. Getting genuine recommendations is really difficult.

Can you speak to the tradies that you like and ask them for recommendations? In our old house, we got our plumber via our electrician as they worked together a lot. In our new house (80 miles away) we got a new electrician via our builder as they work together a lot. Once you get to know one person it’s good as you can hopefully trust their judgement if they give you a recommendation.

I wrote on a previous thread that the best trades we worked with were the non English ones. We had various guys from various parts of Eastern European who were highly skilled, reliable and just cracked on with the job at hand.

It was the English builders (the highly recommended ones!) we used for the major works that brought me to the brink of a breakdown. Dishonest, unreliable and incompetent doesn’t even describe the half of it. It was ironic that they claimed ‘communication issues’ meant they mishandled some of the work. Meanwhile the Romanian guys who did our bathroom spoke very little English but managed to understand us and complete the work to a perfect specification.

Despite what you think, you can paint walls and skirtings.
Most DIY isn't that hard, plenty on youtube to guide you.

Second this. Also I found a female plumber through Stopcocks (national kind of register of female plumbers, you pay 10% more to fund the association, which I was only too happy to do) and she was brilliant, sadly has now decided to take a job rather than be self-employed. It was different having a female in the house and I trusted her.

Was about to say this. And woe betide anyone who posts about their bad experience on these Facebook groups, in my area they get torn to shreds by relatives and friends of said crap tradies.

That hasn't been my experience. In recent years I have required an electrician, a plumber, a builder and kitchen and bathroom fitters, and have had excellent service every time.

Yes, I agree.

I've decided to put up with it until I retire, then put all my stuff in storage, go travelling for six months and get it renovated while I'm away (with a project manager to deal with all the trades people).

Yep, I’d never use NextDoor for that reason tbh.

I did use it once several years ago when I was selling my flat and needed someone to do some basic plumbing work. The guy I engaged took days to complete a job that should have taken a few hours max. I suppose the tell tale sign was that at one point I found him watching a YouTube video explaining how to do the work. He was meant to be an experienced plumber.

I do almost everything in the house myself (up to pretty advanced DIY). But I can't do roof issues, leaks, plumbing (can do basic electrics) and heavy-duty work.

The thought of getting workmen in makes my blood run cold - but agree with a PP that the Eastern Europeans is probably the way to go (if I can find them).

Several years back there was a heating and plumbing company who had a contract with one of the HAs Their service was so shit that someone set up a fb page about it. Some young woman got into the group and started slagging off all the SH tenants. I did a search and found out she was the girlfrend of one of the heating engineers

I’ve honestly considered spending the money on doing a trades course so I can do the work myself and not get ripped off again

We've spent years doing our house. I've realised today that we have literally redone every room pretty much back to plaster all the way through.
Except our bedroom. I'm lay in bed thinking we should really do it but I just don't have the energy to organise it!
Maybe after the summer I will feel up to sorting it. We know good trades people it's the emptying of the room that's a faff
Maybe after the summer I'll face up to it

Same here.

We need a new kitchen and bathroom and the house needs a good lick of paint.

We live in a really affluent area and all the trades seem more interested in working in the fuck off mansions that are going up on land that used to be occupied by lovely 1920s and 1930s houses.

I'm going to get my shit together and start painting. Agree with the comment about all these perfect bloody houses on Instagram.

Everything in this thread echoes my experience too. Complete nightmare.

We learned to do most of it ourselves, it's easier than dealing with lying, unreliable tradesmen. All the information is online. I'm pouring a concrete slab for a shed tomorrow.

I'm seriously thinking of retraining as an electrician. I'd clean up, as I'm extremely organised and not a flakey pillock.

I got my bathroom done and it was really stressful. I only have one and it took over two months. But I love it now.

I’ve been fairly lucky with trades by doing lots and lots of research. I hate having people in the house so do my own painting. I’m not handy at all but just watched a couple of you tube videos and got myself paint, a step ladder, roller, dust sheets and brushes. I do it in small steps at weekends around work and small kids. It’s saved me thousands doing it myself and when I did get a pro painter in I spotted bits he’d missed, I didn’t think he did it absolutely perfectly either. I get a good finish by being really painstaking, it’s my house so I can take the time to get it right.

God it's so fucking painful. Let's all go back to college and start the Guild of Trusted Tradeswomen, as I'm sure the majority of this is down to fuckwit men being fuckwits.

Same, but I have some work on the drains that will have to be done...the contractor who built the extension took shortcuts and I've been told that taking him to court will be expensive.

I’m with you OP

I’ve dealt with well over a dozen tradespeople in the last year, from builders to plumbers to electricians:

Recommended from local Facebook group - shit.
Recommended by friend - shit.
Got references and even rang one previous customer up - shit.
Super local guy - shit.

I can honestly say I would not recommend any of them, not necessarily because they were dishonest, just not very good at their job. No pride in their work, mistakes, you name it.

It’s utterly depressing.