Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

[SmudgeButt]

OK I know some will think this is ridiculous. And just for context I'm not saying that parents shouldn't have mobiles but simply not use them when they are out and about with their children.

There's been lots on the news about how schools want to restrict students using mobiles during school hours. But these are kids that have been raised with practically ever adult around them with a mobile glued to their hand.

I've seen parents out pushing buggies with an excited child pointing at flowers or doggies or whatever and the parent is just walking along like a zombie, ignoring the child and simply staring at or talking on their mobile. I've even seen children with buggies or at restaurants that have a tablet, real or plastic, for them to look at and play with rather than engaging with anything else in the world.

Yes I know some children for whatever reason need to have a distraction in order to be in whatever public space. And I know that we all want to have a mobile in case of emergencies or if there's a real need to contact someone.

I guess my issue here is that the other day I was in a restaurant with DH having a breakfast out together and he said, "oh look that woman is talking to her child!" The entire time she and her friend were having their coffee etc they both talked to the child, involved her in the conversation, let her sit quietly for a bit, played with her. Simply engaged with the child as adults would normally but without any IT distractions.

Thoughts?

I agree with every word. It drives me insane. In nurseries kids can't sit for a meal as there is no gadget to distract them. People with headphones pushing a pram and the baby is facing the other way are asking for trouble if the baby chokes

What is a baby going to choke on in a pram?!

That didn't happen constantly.

I’m guilty of this and I’m ashamed 😔

it’s an addiction and I hate it.i have adhd and it’s like looking at my phone calms me in a strange way.

I really want to change for me and my children.

At least you can see it's a problem, maybe get rid of your smartphone altogether and get an old fashioned Nokia,

Do you tend to see everything in extreme black and white @SmudgeButt ? Do you have any kids?

Many people are the perfect parent until they have kids of their own.

I've had exactly the same thing happen to me, by an older nanny I believe. I was trying to book my toddler a (much sought after!) doctor's appointment online, using my GP practice's requested mode of communication. 🙄 Had I waited until she napped, I'd probably be seeing the GP days later.

Not all children are the same and she will know her child more than you do. Maybe her daughter enjoys decompressing after a long day at school by chilling and looking out of the window and doesn't want to be chatted to straight away.

She does get one childhood. A childhood which won't be defined by bus rides after school.

I know it sounds silly but I literally delete some of my favourite apps every morning to make sure I'm not on them for too long.
I reinstall after dc bedtime for my 'down time'.

They are created to be addictive. Be kind to yourself.

She does get one childhood. A childhood which won't be defined by bus rides after school.

Except I've witnessed over months a little girl gently tap her mum on the arm to talk be met with.. Mum lifts her headphones.. SHUT UP, YOU CAN SEE IM BUSY!
The little girl has given up trying and now just stares out of the window.
It's sad to witness and In my opinion is neglect.

@SouthLondonMum22

Oh really

Yes really. Or is someone forcing you to be here?

I agree with PPs who've commented that you're only seeing a fragment of people's lives, but sometimes that fragment can be revealing. People have said, how do you know they weren't looking up train timetables (etc), and I think we do know, you can see the brain dead look on people's faces when they're doom scrolling.

The thing that really gets my goat though, is parents who give their children phones or tablets on public transport with the volume on full. It is incredibly annoying for anyone trying to read, think, or have a normal conversation and teaches the kids that it's okay to make all the noise they want in public with no consideration for others.

You conveniently left that out previously. She was just a little girl staring out of the window with mum watching Netflix, telling her to shut up wasn't mentioned.

Why are you behaving like a pathetic bully?! Who pissed in your soup?

Not a pathetic bully. You made arsey comments about people’s IQ then professed you wish that you could live in a tech free world like a commune. I’m saying you CAN live in a tech free world without going to a commune and now you’re calling me a bully?

😂 Is that your input to this thread!?

Hard job to proof read the internet but guess someone has to do it. Soldier on.

I have to agree in some circumstances, they are missing out on their children. I saw a Dad the other week in the park with his toddler, glued to his phone, toddler wandered off into the car park before he even noticed she was gone!! Same with people with dogs they walk round glued to their phones don't bother with their dog, leave it to poop wherever and they don't see it! Sad what we have become really.

Sorry, have reported.

No I don't buy it. I never had a smartphone when mine were small, and engaged with them all day long (SAHM). Yet, now that they're teens, they're glued to their own phones.

You can't blame the parents (much as people like to) - it's the culture.

@zaxxon this is about parents of young children not being present and helping along with developmental things like speech, learning to deal with frustration, emotional regulation which happen in the every day little moments when parents and children are fully engaged.

Teenage screen usage would be a different topic, but yes, of course modelling the adults (today) is a factor in that too.

Yeah, I thought this too. Amazing how the poor parenting has escalated.

But let's assume it's all true and this little girl is desperate for her mothers attention. I would.still argue that blaming the device is not the answer. This woman, in an earlier age, might have forced the child to take the bus alone or would have had a book to read etc. Devices don't just magically make people neglectful.

Ahh the old "mums pushing promising their phones" trope.

Usual nonsense berating mums, who are carrying the entire house admin load for the family. Maybe they are responding to a text from work, or school, or checking when a birthday party is, or trying to book a dentist appointment, or booking parents evening, or signing up for swimming classes, or, or, or.

And maybe when the kid is in the pram they need it to take a goddamned nap and ignoring them in the pram is the only way that can happen so they can sleep and she can have a minute to catch up with the million and one things that need her attention.

Maybe, just maybe, we should stop picking on mums for everything they do and telling them they "should" be doing it differently.