Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

[SmudgeButt]

OK I know some will think this is ridiculous. And just for context I'm not saying that parents shouldn't have mobiles but simply not use them when they are out and about with their children.

There's been lots on the news about how schools want to restrict students using mobiles during school hours. But these are kids that have been raised with practically ever adult around them with a mobile glued to their hand.

I've seen parents out pushing buggies with an excited child pointing at flowers or doggies or whatever and the parent is just walking along like a zombie, ignoring the child and simply staring at or talking on their mobile. I've even seen children with buggies or at restaurants that have a tablet, real or plastic, for them to look at and play with rather than engaging with anything else in the world.

Yes I know some children for whatever reason need to have a distraction in order to be in whatever public space. And I know that we all want to have a mobile in case of emergencies or if there's a real need to contact someone.

I guess my issue here is that the other day I was in a restaurant with DH having a breakfast out together and he said, "oh look that woman is talking to her child!" The entire time she and her friend were having their coffee etc they both talked to the child, involved her in the conversation, let her sit quietly for a bit, played with her. Simply engaged with the child as adults would normally but without any IT distractions.

Thoughts?

No chance, you're dealing with low IQ and tech addiction, it's part of the disease.

OP I wholeheartedly agree. And I say this as someone who is FAR too online. I'm waiting for an anti-tech commune to be established so I can sign myself and the family up.

I think I clicked on yabu by accident - sorry! Totally agree. Hate seeing kids with ipads in restaurants. Just talk to your child! Bring colouring in pads or blank paper and talk to them about what they’re drawing. Phones are the scourge of modern times. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes you need to use your phone. But moderate the use of it.

I think the issue is just how much our lives are now managed through our phones. I don't mean doom scrolling, I mean adult, life, parent admin. If you've been playing with your children f2f with your phone away, when you get out might be the only chance to get through some of those jobs in a timely manner. Or else the anxiety kicks up. In case you forget later. Then that means something else will happen.

I don't think it's as straightforward as "parents shouldn't be on their phones around children". Who is to say what's essential and what's not. It varies from person to person.

Personally, I try really hard not to "play" on my phone around my children (2 & 5) but I will do jobs on my phone and tell them what I'm doing. That is teaching them for the future, quite frankly.

Don't be so judgy. Not everyone has the time or resilience to keep their children away from screens in cafes/restaurants or to put off all the life admin until the children are asleep and you're dealing with everything else. And quite simply, some may need to escape into their phones whilst the children are in the buggies, to protect their sanity. Not ideal, not what they'd choose, but might be the case.

What is this thing with people saying text instead of texted - I don’t get it. How can text be a verb in the past tense? I text my mum is surely present tense? Or do people not know about verb tenses any more?

SURELY it is I texted my mum?

Agree. It’s as simple as that. Judging mums on their phone in public pisses me off. Today I was sat in a cafe with my 3yo and baby on my phone trying to book a doctors appointment on their frustrating new e consult service. You have no idea what people are doing on their phones

Can we frame this?

Exactly. Never once did we give our children screens in a restaurant when they were little, and never once did they run around a restaurant screaming. We interacted with them and brought little toys and colouring books etc with us. (before someone suggests that a screen is the same as a colouring book for keeping them occupied-it’s not. They can still interact, listen and join in with conversation etc with a toy or colouring book, they don’t have the same mesmerising ability to make the child zone out completely like a screen does).

I’m sure none of us are evil tor using a phone now and again but thanks for the validation I guess 🤪

Teacher: what do you want to be when you grow up?
Child: a phone
Teacher: why a phone
Child: because it's the first thing my dad looks at in the morning, the last thing he looks at at night, when it beeps he looks at it straight away but when I 'beep' he says in a minute, I wish I was as important to my Dad as his phone

What a load of mawkish over sentimental shite designed by half wits who think they’re clever (and probably are because other half wits are all 🥺 over this guff)

This kid’s biggest problem is perhaps they aren’t very bright.

My child doesn't completely zone out on his ipad, especially when he's playing his little games. He still interacts and engages, sometimes about what he's doing and sometimes something random.

Colouring would be a different story. He just isn't very interested and will do a few scribbles before getting bored. He's the same at home so it isn't just a colouring in a restaurant thing.

I'm waiting for an anti-tech commune to be established so I can sign myself and the family up.

If you’re that bothered why do you need a commune? You don’t HAVE to be on MN. Just don’t go on 🤷‍♀️

Excellent post. Can’t be doing with people who fear innovation. A lot of people shit themselves over the modern railway, cars, electricity and even microwaves, and now it’s phones. You can’t stop progress but you can lean into it

Doesn’t have to be colouring, that was just an example. One of mine wasn’t into colouring either, there are plenty of little toys/puzzles etc that are portable enough and suitable for a restaurant.

Puzzles don't hold his attention yet either, some of his little toys will for a bit which we always try first. Sometimes he's fine just with them and he'll only get his ipad if we stay for dessert but other times, he gets restless quicker and that's when he'll get it.

On holiday, we're less strict and he can have it whenever really.

The children!!!?!

When my kids would have iPads in restaurants when they were little (and only when necessary) they did puzzles on them or “colouring”. I didn’t allow YouTube because even with their headphones in I could hear the relentless tinny hell coming though so it was always puzzles games that we could get involved in too. I genuinely don’t see how this is different to colouring in a book. And I’m very sorry for other people that if they’re so bored at dinner with friends and family they have to stare at other families enjoying their time

The children!!!?! in the classroom 🤣 the children!!!?! Who will come out and spend the next 5+ hours with their parents?

Exactly.

Mine plays educational games with no volume. I don't see what's wrong with that at all.

On holiday (with headphones) he can watch all of the Peppa Pig he wants but day to day, it's different. No YouTube or shows at restaurants.

I agree, it's neglectful and lazy parenting. I'm so glad I brought my children up when smartphones weren't really around.
My friend has recently had a baby and the health visitor came round while I was visiting and mentioned it.. How nice it was to see a house full of people talking to the baby rather then putting it in a bouncy chair and going on there phones. She said she'd regularly had to tell parents that even when your baby isn't crying you still need to interact with them.
Of course I know there's a big difference between a mum or dad taking a break for 20 minutes or reading a map on their phone. But I get the impression that a lot of children are being brought up with parents that spend way more time scrolling then they do talking to their children.
There is a woman that I see pretty much every day on the after school bus, she wears big headphones and watches Netflix for the entire journey THIS IS EVERY DAY!! Her poor daughter who looks around six years old just stares out the window. I have reported to the school to pass on but I'm not sure if this will be taken seriously, it should do though, it's neglectful,

You don't have young kids, so you?

What's wrong with her looking out of the window? It's just a journey that you see every day, not every aspect of her life. Children don't need to be interacted with every minute of the day.

Of course it won't be taken seriously because it isn't neglectful.

Some opinionated fool attempted to tell me off for being on my phone the other day while I was pushing my baby along in the pram.

They made a point of stopping me by putting their hand out in front of me, which I nearly punched but refrained, and criticising me for being on my phone instead of talking to my (then, bemused) baby.

I was paying for my parking on Ringo.

Someone made a comment to her mate once about me pushing a pram with a phone, I was booking a train home. I turned round said loudly in the street “Sorry what’s that do you have a problem? How about saying it to my face?” - she practically ran away! If people are gonna make snidey remarks meant to be overheard have the courage of your convictions and say it to someone’s face

What's wrong with her looking out of the window? It's just a journey that you see every day, not every aspect of her life. Children don't need to be interacted with every minute of the day.

Of course it won't be taken seriously because it isn't neglectful.

@SouthLondonMum22
According to you, myself and others clearly disagree.
She hasn't seen her mum all day, children like interacting with their mum after a day at school.. being ignored while your mum stares at her screen is gross. You've got the rest of your life to watch Netflix, she gets one childhood.

Completely agree, especially the cases of wheeling a pram and no awareness of cars. The number of times so many people, not just Mums, who step out into the road without looking, so whole society thing. School kids, once allowed their phones back, are glued to them walking back, talking into them, earbuds in.

When I took my young DC out I would use mine for photos but otherwise was completely in the moment with them.

It is sad to see unnecessary phones in hand and not being present. Anything important will be a call ot wait a while to look at messages.

Oh and on holiday. Parents with young kids messaging, putting phone down, second later tapping the screen to see if they had a response, then another second later. I wanted to scream ffs just enjoy the evening amd not be obsessed with reactions to DM!!! And yes it was SM, was sat behind them. So desperate...