Parents shouldn't use mobiles around their children

[SmudgeButt]

OK I know some will think this is ridiculous. And just for context I'm not saying that parents shouldn't have mobiles but simply not use them when they are out and about with their children.

There's been lots on the news about how schools want to restrict students using mobiles during school hours. But these are kids that have been raised with practically ever adult around them with a mobile glued to their hand.

I've seen parents out pushing buggies with an excited child pointing at flowers or doggies or whatever and the parent is just walking along like a zombie, ignoring the child and simply staring at or talking on their mobile. I've even seen children with buggies or at restaurants that have a tablet, real or plastic, for them to look at and play with rather than engaging with anything else in the world.

Yes I know some children for whatever reason need to have a distraction in order to be in whatever public space. And I know that we all want to have a mobile in case of emergencies or if there's a real need to contact someone.

I guess my issue here is that the other day I was in a restaurant with DH having a breakfast out together and he said, "oh look that woman is talking to her child!" The entire time she and her friend were having their coffee etc they both talked to the child, involved her in the conversation, let her sit quietly for a bit, played with her. Simply engaged with the child as adults would normally but without any IT distractions.

Thoughts?

But the children are going home with that parent to presumably be with them all night. Why does a parent need to be off their phone on the playground - which is at most a couple of minutes

I'd love to know how they police it. My guess is that they don't.

And how are you accessing MN? Via a potato?

No everyone is looking after children

Totally agree.

It just seems like one of those snarky controlling things some Head teachers like to do. I’d be on mine even more just to prove a point 😂

Me too. 😂

If you don't give a child a tablet in a restaurant they might make a noise and then there will be a thread saying noisy children shouldn't be out to eat, so parents can't win 🤷🏻‍♀️

But @ginasevern presumably has her children SOME of the time yet she’s posts at all different hours. I hope her soul is being destroyed by her own actions. She’ll never be a world leader!

Can I read a book in the play park instead? Cos play parks are bloody boring. Happily mine are out of that age now. Hours of my life spent watching them go up and down the same slide 😴.

My dd is autistic and uses hers to regulate and with headphones in restaurants so that she can even be there. She doesn’t want to chat, she finds lots of social interaction exhausting and intensely difficult. We still have lovely moments of time together without phones. But they may not always been seen by others.

No, on a desktop computer. I'm a self employed publisher so it's the tool of my trade. I dip into Mumsnet a couple of times a week for about an hour each time. I also watch TV sometimes or listen to the radio! I don't however wander around Sainsbury's with it sending messages that can clearly wait until I get home or sit transfixed to it when I'm in the company of friends and family.

You must work a lot then as you were posting yesterday, a Sunday, between 12 and 6. Were your children not around or do you work on weekends?

Christ, not this again. Expressing one's disapproval of "screens" via an internet forum and expecting agreement from other like-minded individuals. Brilliant how you all manage to do that with a pencil and a bit of paper, actually.
Screen haters are everywhere it seems. Mostly using a screen to moan about screens. Hypocritical much?

The modern world involves smartphones whether you want it to or not. Often there is no other choice anymore.

Side note...why is it always phones and tablets. Very few screen scream queens mention laptops or tvs much at all.

I resisted the lure of the smartphone till I had no choice in the matter myself but now if my internet connection drops I feel like someone has cut my arms off and poked me eyes out.

I didn't ask for the world to change but it did. It's progress and I'd better go with it or lose access to a large part of the world.

You could, if you object to modernity so much, dig your long frock out and march yourself back to the 1850s and take your snapshot judgement with you.

As I'm self employed I work whenever I have a commission and according to the timescale involved. So the day of the week doesn't really apply.

But if you have a few minutes spare on a Sunday why spend all that time posting when you could be with your kids instead? Especially if you’re working for six hours on a non-school day. This is soul destroying for me!

Well, I just got a call from 14 year old DS ringing to check I'm home as he's currently 30m from the house and he is DESPERATE to tell me about his match. He started telling me then said, "I can see the house, I'll come and tell you now".

So clearly whatever screen time I'm doing isn't impacting him negatively! Just me becuase I've spent too much time on MN today and now I need to be present for DS who I can hear coming through the door. He's stopping to tell DH though from what I can hear! I might have 5 minutes

I know this thread wasn't about people like me but I just wanted to point this out becuase I do think that a lot of parents who get grief for being on their phones are actually very present. I've got a friend who is often on her phone. I know for a fact that most of that time is spent researching things to do with her extremely high needs children, one of whom has ASD and who she spends lots and lots of time with one-to-one. She homeschooled her for 2 years as well!

There are other options between noisy child and quiet screen zombie child, it's not either or

A child on a screen isn't automatically a zombie either.

Other options may not work as well or at all for some families depending on the options you are thinking about.

Or they may not use screens 99% of the time at restaurants but this is one of the few times they've made an exception or they are on holiday and have relaxed the rules.

Thank you everyone for the input - yes I know there are good reasons for being on a phone. And sorry for not getting back to you sooner as I was in a long discussion with my family about other things.

Sometimes I have to voice a strong opinion to work through in my brain how legit it might be. Obviously some of you agree and others don't.

And I know that not all of you are evil. (I reserve my judgement because there's always going to be one in every group, don't you think??) (sticks tin hat back on)

Have a lovely evening.

I agree to some extend. Ok it's fine to use for buying tix car park apps etc.

However I was in London yesterday and mum was on phone and her toddler was very well behaved but excited about his trip and she was playing a mindless game for at least 15 mins. Tbf she did play eye spy with him for the last five mins and she seemed to be a good mum but I do wonder what all those 15 mins here and there are doing to children long term development. That's not attacking her. Just a general question about social change . Maybe she needed the break but her boy was very sweet and wasn't creating a scene at all.

Sometimes a parent just needs 5 mins of chilling on their phone.

Reminds of that post which goes something like

Teacher: what do you want to be when you grow up?
Child: a phone
Teacher: why a phone
Child: because it's the first thing my dad looks at in the morning, the last thing he looks at at night, when it beeps he looks at it straight away but when I 'beep' he says in a minute, I wish I was as important to my Dad as his phone

I am as guilty as many of looking at my phone, my DH and I have acknowledged this is an issue, so now when our girls are home we put our phones on loud in case we get a call, but leave them in a different room, to try to combat the urge to reach for it automatically. We were getting trapped in doom scrolling and it wasn't helpful for any of us.

Our daughters school has asked for phone to be kept in pockets/bags during drop off and pick up 'greet your child with a smile not a screen'. And the difference is huge, parents are communicating with their children and each other.

She's probably spent the entire day in London with him. And he was happily doing other things for 15 minutes. It's completely fine.

It's not unusual that I'll have to take a work call or email when with my young child.

If I couldn't, they'd be in full time day care.

I'm sure I get judged at the baby groups / in the park as I type on my phone but I know it's worth being able to stay at home with my child and financially provide for them.

I also know I'm a very "present" parent at all other times.

Nowadays, our phones are used for lots of vital things, it's not like every mum is just staring at Instagram and Pinterest FGS

YABVU.

Stupid
do as I say not as I do comes to mind...