Scared to report what I think is grooming

[Zookeeperoneday]

I've name changed for this.
My good friend has a 13 year old daughter , who has a man in her life who I'm sure is starting to groom her. He's an ex colleague of dh, and once started a grievance against DH which was dismissed eventually.
Friend thinks this man is nice and I'm guessing she thinks the grievance was 50/50 which it absolutely was not. I'm sure the man has turned her against dh a bit. I feel terrible as I'm scared to report him for fear of him doing something legal against dh/me again but I know I have to.

‘The man in her life’ comment did read as the YPs stepdad (to me that is!). I only read what the OP has given us. But it seems from OP replies she may have already referred so now it's down to SS.

@Sparklybutold the OP clarified on the second post that the relationship is about this man providing an individual lesson to the child twice a week. No mention of him as her stepdad at all.

I'm clear it is a definite safeguarding and the previous DSL who said it didn't is wrong, and made a personal judgement that it was sour grapes. Not Making a personal judgement is the first rule of safeguarding.

You can report anonymously to Crimestoppers. Not clear whether he would still know it was you as we don't know your situation.

It's going fo open up a whole can of shit but I'd do it anyway.

sounds dodgy as fuck.

please report it.

Is he Ofsted registered?

I think OP fears this individual will retaliate and make false allegations against OP and her DH aided and abetted (groomed) by the parents. This could lead to legal repercussions.

Unless professionally I had to go through social services, given the background, I'd go via NSPCC they legally have power and given past interactions think they are consistently appropriate/work well on behalf of the children concerned. Good luck.

How did he justify doing this to your friend and her DH? Or does his name begin with thesame letter as their surname and you take it to refer to him on the sly?

It's reported now.
I am fearful that he will report me/dh as harassing him

How will he know it’s you though?

I saw report, better to report and be wrong than not to report.

I won't go into it in detail on here. But the timeline of the necklace gift and an event we were both at will mean he will connect it to me

Why did he put his initial? Did he say or have you assumed that’s what it is?

I assume it was a safeguarding course and gift giving was covered….

You clearly have reasons to think this man may be sexually interested in this 13 year old
and not just tut for tat for grevience

of course report and suck up any repercussions

She has reported it and is concerned about repercussions.

you did the right thing, it sounds v Michael Jackson

well done Op, Hold your nerve

I understand your concerns but you've definitely done the right thing. And I hope he leaves you alone.

No not a safeguarding course. Necklace definitely both their initials and given as a gift . "You're so brilliant at karate because of me, you're going to go far. Here's a gift for how well you are doing " (not really karate)
It's been said openly that he put their initials on.

I never said I wasn't reporting (am legally bound to)

@Zookeeperoneday yeah that initials thing is v odd. I was hoping that had been misinterpreted!