Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 45 too old to have a baby

767 replies

Catontoof · 09/02/2025 12:22

is this fair on a child?
I am seriously considering this as I feel like
therr has been a huge hole in my life.

OP posts:
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/02/2025 21:06

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 20:45

Why hopefully ?

Show quote history

See my post at 13.14 today (page 4.)

I am not repeating myself, because you can't be bothered to read through the thread....

.

oldermumsornot · 09/02/2025 21:09

No idea why it is selfish. My great grandmother and grandmother lived to over 100 and my mother is still running around in her 80s. Our kids have had an amazing childhood with every sport and opportunity. Many of their friends wish their parents would take them skiing or on exciting holidays.

SquashedSquid · 09/02/2025 21:11

Yes. Far too old and completely selfish. Get a cat.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/02/2025 21:11

oldermumsornot · 09/02/2025 21:09

No idea why it is selfish. My great grandmother and grandmother lived to over 100 and my mother is still running around in her 80s. Our kids have had an amazing childhood with every sport and opportunity. Many of their friends wish their parents would take them skiing or on exciting holidays.

Bingo!

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:12

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 20:36

I don’t understand this. My mother had me at 38. I didn’t even notice she was an older mum until I was an adult and we still have a great relationship. I’m pregnant at 38. It’s not unusual at all being pregnant at 38. Perhaps you have your other reasons but I think saying 38 is too old is ridiculous and insulting frankly.

Show quote history

I take it back! You are very young and sprightly!

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/02/2025 21:14

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:12

I take it back! You are very young and sprightly!

Show quote history

😂

oldermumsornot · 09/02/2025 21:14

I paid for cvs at 10 weeks and had full private screening for my 2nd and 3rd.

No way the kids would be carers if we were ill that would be fully financially provided for (for life and care for kids) but chances are less likely than someone young with poor health or are you all saying they are selfish for having a child

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:14

pastapeteliketoeat · 09/02/2025 20:51

@NatterNatter50

Yes, I think it is selfish to put your want to have a baby ahead of the well-being of the person being born.

Understandable in some cases, but undeniably selfish!

Eh? I have a friend who go married and spend years TTC since she was aged 24. Had years of issues. Tried everything. Finally had her miracle baby at 42. But let’s just call her selfish then. Makes a lot of sense.

I suppose everything you do in life is super selfless hey?

I’d rather a child has stable, loving older parents instead of nasty ones who just happened to get lucky in their 20’s! (I am not slating all younger parents so apologies to others on this thread who have not been as nasty to older mums on here).

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:15

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/02/2025 21:06

See my post at 13.14 today (page 4.)

I am not repeating myself, because you can't be bothered to read through the thread....

.

Edited
Show quote history

No need to be so rude , I can’t remember the user name of every single person who posted on this thread.

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:16

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:12

I take it back! You are very young and sprightly!

Show quote history

I don’t consider myself old. Honestly your attitude is so depressing.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 09/02/2025 21:16

SquashedSquid · 09/02/2025 21:11

Yes. Far too old and completely selfish. Get a cat.

100% this. ^ The OP isn't even in a relationship (if you read her posts.) She is thinking of having a baby with a man she hasn't even met yet! She is 42 now, and hoping to meet a man soon, and then get pregnant by him after a year or so, and she hopes to have another baby at 45 to 'fill a hole in her life!' That's the plan!

Utterly bonkers. OP needs to snap out of it. It's a dream sequence that will very likely not happen.

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:17

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:12

I take it back! You are very young and sprightly!

Show quote history

Or perhaps you’ve just not aged so well?? Plenty of fit and healthy 38 year olds out there…just because you aren’t/weren't there is no need for this. Perhaps some diet and exercise could help?

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:18

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:16

I don’t consider myself old. Honestly your attitude is so depressing.

Show quote history

I literally just said you are very young and sprightly! I didn't say you are old!

helpwithschool · 09/02/2025 21:19

chances are you are way to old to conceive. I am only a tiny bit older. Having a baby at 45/46 is one thing. Having a toddler in your late 40s a different issue and then having a child in primary in your 50s and a teen in your 60s is completely ballgame all together. The baby doesn't stay a baby and you don't stay 45! Unless the dad of the baby is significantly younger, you are mad! Sorry.

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:20

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:17

Or perhaps you’ve just not aged so well?? Plenty of fit and healthy 38 year olds out there…just because you aren’t/weren't there is no need for this. Perhaps some diet and exercise could help?

Show quote history

Thank you for the concern, but I am fine. Regularly mistaken for someone in their 20s, BMI of around 19 - 20. Do 10,000 steps most days. Recent blood tests showed all fine. 😊

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:21

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:18

I literally just said you are very young and sprightly! I didn't say you are old!

Show quote history

Ok ..well you can think what you like to be honest. I’m delighted to be having a baby at 38 and see nothing wrong with it at all.

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:21

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:20

Thank you for the concern, but I am fine. Regularly mistaken for someone in their 20s, BMI of around 19 - 20. Do 10,000 steps most days. Recent blood tests showed all fine. 😊

Show quote history

Of course you are 🤣🤣

oldermumsornot · 09/02/2025 21:21

Is it just unacceptable for a female over 40? What about men over 40, Sme rules? over 50? what about smokers? obese? anyone with a disability?

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:24

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:21

Ok ..well you can think what you like to be honest. I’m delighted to be having a baby at 38 and see nothing wrong with it at all.

Show quote history

Good for you. Honestly shocked by this thread. Things are very different these days, I think some people are very set in their ways and just need to move with the times a little. We are just making the best of our circumstances so wish people could just be a little kinder. Best of luck with everything x

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:25

NatterNatter50 · 09/02/2025 21:21

Of course you are 🤣🤣

Show quote history

Not sure why you are laughing. All true 😊

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:26

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:21

Ok ..well you can think what you like to be honest. I’m delighted to be having a baby at 38 and see nothing wrong with it at all.

Show quote history

Thank you very much for 'allowing' me to think what I like. 😊 I would have done so anyway.

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:26

Thanks @NatterNatter50

Cornflakes123 · 09/02/2025 21:27

Strawberriesandpears · 09/02/2025 21:26

Thank you very much for 'allowing' me to think what I like. 😊 I would have done so anyway.

Show quote history

You sound incredibly immature I have to say.

stargirl1701 · 09/02/2025 21:29

Get a puppy, OP. Cute but lots of work. Grown-up much quicker than a baby.

pastapeteliketoeat · 09/02/2025 21:29

@NatterNatter50

It's not nasty to say I think someone's decision to have a baby at age 45 is selfish. Touched a nerve there though, clearly!

I didn't have my children in my twenties, either, and they were both very much planned.

There will be good and bad parents regardless of their age at their child's birth. But to me, having a baby well past your prime child-bearing years is a selfish thing to do.

You can disagree, if you like... I'm not going to be defensive and start insulting you.