Moving to the US – Am I Bonkers?

[keithmoo]

DH has just been offered a job in the US, and it’s a really good opportunity – more money, career progression, and all that jazz. It would mean uprooting the DC (6 and 3) and moving to a completely new country, which is giving me the absolute fear. We’d likely be going to a mid-sized city in the Midwest (think Ohio/Indiana sort of area), which I know very little about apart from what I’ve seen in films – which I assume isn’t entirely accurate!

Has anyone done this? What’s the reality of life in the US as a Brit? I’m worried about things like healthcare (I’ve heard horror stories), schooling (seems like it varies wildly), and just generally settling in. Also, I’m a bit concerned about making friends – I’ve heard Americans can be friendly but in a surface-level way, and I don’t want to be stuck in some weird expat bubble.

Would love any advice from those who’ve made the move. What were the biggest culture shocks? Any regrets? What do I need to know that no one tells you?

Also, please reassure me that I won’t have to live off terrible coffee and weird chocolate for the foreseeable…

People saying healthcare in the US is expensive : Don’t employers usually cover insurance for the whole family? Is co-pay very high!?

We live in Florida, moved from the UK 4 years ago. It's been amazing. I had a baby last year and the healthcare was exceptional. Not completely free, think we contributed about 3k but it was incredible. If you have enough money, the US is a great place to be.

Lots to see as well, we are very outdoorsy and have loved the national parks. We were blown away by Blue Ridge, Smokey Mountains, Zion, Yosemite, and we are going to Yellowstone with our baby in June.

From afar, the UK looks horrific. DH's employer might want him back in the UK next year and our hearts sank when he told us that.

People have been lovely. We don't get into politics with anyone.

Tbh my in laws voted for Brexit and then Reform at the last election and as an immigrant to the UK myself, I found that horrible of them anyway so I'm used to avoiding the topic of politics.

Just ensure the package you get is worth it. The US is a very expensive place to be.

I live in a very liberal area in a mid west state. Just like the UK, there are places where I would not live. For us, we have better schools and healthcare than we would
have had in the UK. Taxes are lower which more
than offsets any health care costs I have. Please ignore the naysayers who just see Trump.

fwiw I had more worry about my kids getting stabbed in the UK than I worry about getting shot here.

please feel free to pm me

Also, please reassure me that I won’t have to live off terrible coffee and weird chocolate for the foreseeable…
I'm sure that your family can send you care packages of Dairy Milk, though I've no idea if punitive tariffs may apply in the future.

Seriously though, I'd be waiting to see what happens before making any long-term decisions. Wait until the dust clears and you can see what remains after Musk has finished with his wrecking ball.

Where you are going is key. I would find Columbus, OH a lot more palatable than Indianapolis for example. But the mid west is the mid west and most of those people will 1) be Republicans 2) wont have ever left the US so be prepared 3) church church church
Healthcare - yes. It is a bloody nightmare, presumably your DH job covers you for benefits but get ready for the co-pays and the paperwork and the exclusions though if you’re all in relative good health you should be okay.

It’s a strange time right now, Inoersinally wouldn’t go back to live there but if you’ve got money & are white it won’t be too awful.

Yes it would e covered for the whole family. Depends on the isurance. A large company would have a relocations team that can help understand their policy and I would ask colleagues who have relocated for their experience.

The lack of gun control, schools needing gun scanners, the very expensive insurance based healthcare system including the need to co-pay ( unless provided for by your husband's job? ) , the emphasis on religion, and the rise of the far right and the politically changing landscape right now would make it a big no for me.

Okay you did not say that previously. So you criticised the HV system, even though your area does not operate it.
You can always see your GP.

We opted to move to Canada instead as the politics and some of the American culture didn’t sit well for us. However we are there frequently as we’re close enough to the border to go for lunch or to visit friends. DSil also lives there
At the moment, America is not an amazing place.

coffee - find a little indie place because YES the coffee is like dishwater in general!
Chocolate - bring some from home! Or stick to M&Ms - they’re the same. Avoid cadburys, it’s not the same…

You’ll have to drive everywhere, so get used to that idea too.

It varies wildly.

This article suggests

Looking again at KFF’s 2023 report, employee contributions toward a family plan were $6,575 annually—roughly 27% of the average premium— and $1,401—or about 17%—for a self-only plan.

www.peoplekeep.com/blog/what-percent-of-health-insurance-is-paid-by-employers#:~:text=What%20percentage%20of%20businesses%20offer,that%20will%20provide%20enough%20value.

And that doesn't count extras you might pay for on top like prescriptions or excess charges etc

Long term? Are you sure? As for work - how are you going to work? Will you have a visa to work?

No way I'd move to the USA at the moment

How dare you say something perfectly reasonable!!! Joking aside I heard a comment on the folk who hold up billboards saying "LOVE TRUMPS HATE" that it may well have a double-meaning i.e. a lot of what we see is folk who are very excited about hating Trump.

ok I should have clarified - there are HV but they don’t ‘visit’. So you were expected to go to them. But as I was too ill to go I never saw anyone. As I was too ill I should have been ‘visited’ as part of their priority list but every day I was just told that they weren’t able to make it. In the end I stopped chasing….

it was Covid and it was impossible to get a gp appointment and was referred back to the hub which was not local. I had my 8 week appointment with the gp and that was it.

I think if you're white, decently off and never get pregnant and have any problems with it while you're there and don't get seriously ill, you will probably be fine providing there isn't a civil war and/or they don't decide to throw out all 'foreigners' suddenly.

I hate trump so let’s get that out of the way

But - you can have a lovely life in the US. Much of it is lovely and much nicer than the UK. Property can be amazing compared to ours. It is expensive compared to here right now so the higher salary might not go as far as you think. But not sure about Ohio! Many other areas I’d rather live. You really need to visit your area.

How high co pay is, and what the insurance policy covers varies by policy. You have to look at what your employer is offering. You usually pay a premium that is subsidised, so you need to know how much this costs monthly. Insurance plans often only let you see certain Drs and attend certain hospitals.
The Affordable Care Act sets out the services an employer health insurance policy must cover. But Trump wants to take away a lot of these requirements, and has already started this process. So it is even more important to understand what the insurance policy actually covers.

Trump will make a difference - tariffs will impact Americans and they should be aware of what he wants to do in land grabbing in the Panama Canal, Greenland, Canada and now Gaza. Americans need to pay more attention to world affairs.

@Daisymae23 Yes the pandemic was a very difficult time and at times there was a shortage of GPs and other health staff because so many were off ill.

I’m a Brit in the US, feel free to PM me.

American just like Brits vary widely and so you can’t really generalize eg they are more surface level. I’ve found the opposite and they have been so friendly and warm. I think some of the surface level talk may be that a lot of Americans are religious and if you aren’t then that can make it a bit trickier but I luckily haven’t found it an issue as don’t have any super religious friends. The more religious types do tend to flock together.

In general Americans are much friendlier, the weather where I live is sunshine 99% of the year, schooling has been fantastic and my children have access to extra therapies as needed (speech and OT), really well invested extra curricular programs, wrap around care is the norm.

Healthcare has been substantially better here and I’ve been diagnosed with two autoimmune issues I struggled with for years in the UK. Making sure you have good health and dental insurance is of course a top priority!! But we have all seen specialists within weeks when needing them and dental care is immediate.

Food wise I love all the Mexican food but getting a good kebab, a decent Indian or Chinese can be tricky! I don’t eat most processed US foods as they are filled with harmful food dyes, corn syrup etc. We eat pretty healthily however. Avoid most crappy American food and you will be thankful for it.

Convenience is huge here!! All shops will be open all day, Sunday trading hours do not exist, you can go to the pharmacy or to get you kids an extra outfit for school at 7pm at night if needed.

The state I am in is blue and so I have access to healthcare. Previously lived in a red state and the fear of an ectopic was quite high for me. I had early pregnancy bleeding and was terrified. I’m not sure what the provisions are like in the states you’ve mentioned.

As others have mentioned religion is huge here and I assume everyone is a Christian unless told otherwise. Definitely not everyone is however! My own husband was raised in a very religious household and is not religious at all.

My family in the UK are so deeply unhappy and struggling so badly along with my previous colleagues in the NHS that whilst I would love to move back for a few years to experience the UK with my children I am not sure we could ever really afford the type of lifestyle we have here. We are a one income family here and middle class but I think in England I’d absolutely have been forced back to work now to fund things.

Yes…

Employers pay varying percentages of the insurance cost the employee pays the rest as a deduction from there pay. There is usually a choice of plans. Some have very low premiums costs and some have higher premiums. Generally speaking the lower the premium the higher the treatment cost is and the higher the premiums the lower out of pocket cost.

As an example using estimated round numbers…

My company pays $10,000 I pay $4000 in insurance premiums. Then I pay copays and a portion of a lower negotiated (by the insurance company) rate for some treatments up to a cap each year. My cap is $5000

If I see a GP for a wellness visit no copay
GP for a sickness visit $20
Specialist $40
Specialty Diagnostic Services (MRI for example) $60
ER (A&E) $100 not charged if I’m admitted
Hospital is a percentage of the bill usually 80/20 (80 paid by insurance 20 paid by me again up to that annual out of pocket max).

The last 10 years or so my DH and I have probably spent a couple of hundred dollars above our premium. This year I unfortunately have a significant health issue and have already hit my annual OOP max. So I will pay $5000 but the rest of my treatment including hospital stays will be covered 100%.

I'm in the USA. I'm sort of your target demographic (I have UK citizenship and lived there for many years; left in 2016) and sort of not (I also have US citizenship and grew up partially in the USA).

In the USA right now, EVERYTHING is in flux. We don't know what will happen, day to day. If it were just you or just you and your partner, I could give you a lot of reasons to take a chance here (and a lot of reasons not to). A lot of what's happening now is taking rights/investments (the current government will disdainfully call them "entitlements") away from vulnerable people. For you, coming to the USA for the first time, you've never had those things here and don't plan to claim them, so not a big issue for you.

Given the uncertainty, I would not bring children here unless I had a reliable backup plan to leave.

However, I CAN tell you that you can get good choc and coffee here. You can also get almost any UK thing you want, if you can pay for it. And you may find a lot of US-made stuff you'll love too. None of that is really an issue if you're somewhat affluent, which it sounds like you would be if you come to the USA.

** edited because I can't spell.