Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get a bit tearful because no-one brought me any flowers/balloons at the hospital?

68 replies

Seashell71 · 08/05/2008 13:10

Ok I accept my hormones are all over the place but last week had my lovely baby-boy and of course quite a few people came to visit at the hospital... my pil brought a "baby boy" card and, er, that's it.
My dh and my other friends came and noone brought a flower/balloon/card/pressie.
It was an elective c-section, so everyone knew the day baby was coming.
I know that what matters is that baby and I are well (we are), but I can't help getting earful when I think of it.
All other new mums near me had balloons,flowers and cards on their bedside table.
I'd never go to visit someone who's had a baby and not bring at least a card and a small present.
AIBU?

OP posts:
OsmosisBanana · 08/05/2008 13:13

I didn't get anything either. Got some flowers del'd to my house a few days later though. NOTHING from DH. Hmm.

GreebosWhiskers · 08/05/2008 13:13

YANBU

Seems a bit strange not to go with a wee something tbh. Poor you

BUT congratulations on your brand new baby boy

claricebeansmum · 08/05/2008 13:14

I would feel pretty blue about this too.
I know that it is not the most important thing but one would like to feel a bit spoiled after lumbering around a baby non-stop for 9 months.

Drop a very big hint to DH!

paddlinglikemad · 08/05/2008 13:14

oh yes I was same when I had DC3 the others on the ward seemed to have balloons and flowers fighting for space on their lockers, I had a one card I think...when I got home there was a another card but that was it..think our friends.family just thought that because it was our third they didn't have to bother!!!..YANBU

CrazyMofo · 08/05/2008 13:21

here are all the ballons and gifts you missed out on

YANBU, i would feel a bit upset too

x

WilyWombat · 08/05/2008 13:23

OK - well personally Id start saying to familu "OK then where are my flowers...chocolates appreciated too, all donations received with enthusiasm" I would have been really cross if I hadnt received any from hubby - have to say I got beautiful yellow roses with DC1 and a bunch he had grabbed from the petrol station with DC2 but still its the thought that counts

I know how important it is, lots of fuss over the baby (which is right) but you feel like you want a fuss made of you too which is only fair really

Oh & congrats

Pinkjenny · 08/05/2008 13:24

Dh didn't buy me anything, and when mum came tearing into the hospital after my section, she hadn't brought me anything. She was mortfied and came back with all manner of enormous flowers and balloons. I think her priority was just to get in and see us both tbh.

Although its a bloody nuisance getting them all home in the car. I remember dh carrying them across the car park.

Dh never did buy me anything. Typical.

jesuswhatnext · 08/05/2008 13:27

YANBU - however, i didn't get any flowers as my then dh was arrested for murder the day i gave birth to dd

Iota · 08/05/2008 13:28

YANBU

you should have sent them down to the League of Friends shop to buy some

Morgan · 08/05/2008 13:32

Firstly congratulations and a virtual new baby boy balloon

No yanbu - i did have flowers but not a balloon for either birth and i wanted them! When I had dd my second in Dubai i was in a private hospital with own room and the local ladies had huge balloon arches over the door and flower arrangements on stands outside the rooms and in the rooms and hampers of food and sweets spilling out into the corridor and i had one small arrangement from dh's work. Never got anything either time from dh at the hospital or after. I was tempted to nick one of the arrangements from the next door room

I agree time to drop some hints.

VinegarTits · 08/05/2008 13:34

What a bunch of tightwads! i would be upset too, have a virtual bunch of flowers and congrats on your new baby!

dingdong05 · 08/05/2008 13:35

YANBU I sent my bro to get me a balloon from the shop. Even though I had flowers delivered once we got home I really wanted something in there!
WTF jesuswhatnext?! That was quite a dramatic entry for your dd!

nickytwotimes · 08/05/2008 13:37

I'd have been miffed too, and I'm not normally bothered about cards, gifts, etc.
Buggers!

NotABanana · 08/05/2008 13:38

YANBU

DS1 was born unexpectedly in the evening so hubby brought me a card the next morning and a pile of magazines and papers to read. On the last day I was in he sneaked off to the flower shop and bought me flowers. 9 months later I got a diamond ring.

I got flowers and a card with DD too, but no flowers or card with DS2 but his well being was priority and it really didn't matter.

fiodyl · 08/05/2008 13:45

With DD (1st baby) I had flowers, cards, pressies, toys, baby clothes etc. I was in for a week and had a private room which was full up by the time we went home. I had visitors every day and DP brought in anything that had been sent or brought round to the house for me and baby. It was a struggle trying to fit it all into our little Fiesta on the way home though!

With DS it was completely different. He was born at 00.59am and I was told Id be discharged in the morning. DP went home to sleep for a couple of hours and came back at 10am with 2 cards, one baby boy one and a valentines card (it was valentines day)

People did come to visit and bring cards after I had got home, but not as much as the first time( I guess they thougt I already had everything) but it was pretty much 'carry on as usual' the second time round

SoupKitchen · 08/05/2008 13:47

Yanbu to expect some flowers and balloons, when you got home from having new baby
but many hospital now restrict flowers due to infection risk from the water( carries a bacteris after 24hrs that can promote chest infections)
Was ths possibly the case where you are

Congratulations by the way

markiedarlin · 08/05/2008 14:38

I'd be a bit miffed, but I remember when I had my DS1 my ex-dp bought a card to the hospital the next day with "Congtrats on the birth of YOUR new son"!!! I was under the impression that the baby was he also, but according to the card it was MINE. Don't think I had one off him when we had our second DS.

MKG · 08/05/2008 14:46

Don't worry. I gave birth to ds2 the day before our 4th anniversary. Now me being the very smart part of our pair managed to get dh a small gift, wrap it, and still remember to put it in my hospital bag as I was getting ready to go to the hospital. Do you know what dh got me . . . .NOTHING! I handed him the present and said Happy Anniversary. He looked at me and said "is that today". Well needless to say I've been reminding him for weeks about it and I will not live it down that he forgot our anniversary. I managed to give birth and still remember.

bergentulip · 08/05/2008 15:05

But are they usually the types to bring flowers/chocs/cards? If not, then I would not expect them to change for a baby's arrival.....
My pils don't tend to do anything, even send cards, but I know they care. It's just the way they are.
Thankfully my side of the family are a little more cheesy/thoughtful like that, so I got a few bits.

Bit unusual not to be brought stuff, and miserable if other mums around you have a load, but just enjoy the fuss made of you and the baby from here on in.

Congrats! xx

bergentulip · 08/05/2008 15:06

And on DHs being a bit rubbish with presents and dates and marking occasions - I actually had mine ring up from work recently to ask me when his(our) own son's birthday was!!! (!)

I despair, truly!!!

claricebeansmum · 08/05/2008 15:15

at jesuswhatnext

BrownSuga · 08/05/2008 15:19

OP, I didn't either, and everyone around me did. Felt really forlorn and alone, especially as I'm not in my native country with none of my family here. I didn't even think to bring a teddy for his crib to personalise our space a bit, and only had 1 visitor other than my inlaws and DH in the 4 days I was in.

I hope you had loads of stuff when you got home. Congrats on the safe arrival.

Miaou · 08/05/2008 15:25

I didn't get anything at the hospital when I had ds2, but then he was no. 4 and the only family I had to visit me was dh and the other 3 dc's and dh didn't see fit to break the habit of a lifetime

When I was in hospital having my appendix out, the woman in the bed opposite got flowers most days, plus food, cards, mags, etc etc. She was a very nice person but it was apparent from her reaction (ie not at all surprised) that she expected these things. I got new knickers and some shampoo from my mum .

doesn't bother me in the slightest, but if it bothers you then you need to make sure people are aware that it does.

Occasionally dh buys me chocolates "just because" and that means far more to me than being bought stuff because it's expected - but different strokes for different folks I guess.

colacubes · 08/05/2008 15:34

Ohhhhh thats terrible, you should have got a little something, to celebrate, and to say "thank you" for gc, and ds. you are not wrong to feel a little weepy, its something we should always remember for another.

My aunt in law, whos a midwife, brought me some lovely fresh fruit and a bottle (mini) of bubbly along with a special champagne glass. Was lovely.

Congratulations, on your ds, I will send you a bunch of virtual flowers. () thats them by then way!

LazyLinePainterJane · 08/05/2008 15:38

Well, no-one even came to visit me!