To think children shouldn't be swearing in primary school

[Dishwashersaurous]

I'm genuinely interested in opinions and how this would be tackled in other schools.

There is a boy at my son's school who every single lunchtime will come and swear aggressively at my son. I understand he also does it to other children.

I've told my son to report to a teacher every single time, which he does.

However, it appears that there is no consequence or punishment for this child for the swearing. Then the next day the same thing happens again.

I intend to talk to the school about it because my son is now dreading breaktime and being sworn at.

However, Aibu to expect children not to swear at a primary school and that there should be action by the school to stop a child who does?

I would have any specific issue with swearing in the playground. However, if it’s being done aggressively towards an individual, it should be dealt with like any other nasty or aggressive behaviour.

So you genuinely wouldn't be concerned about a primary school pupil swearing.

This is why I am asking because I believe that there is no reason, justification or acceptable behaviour for a primary school pupil to swear.

What you're describing seems to be some form of bullying, which I would want dealt with by the school.

Anyone who thinks primary aged kids don't swear is deluded though.

I wouldn’t be concerned if it’s done without malice. In my view, these are just words and some people get too angsty about them. Clearly, DC should be taught when it is and is not appropriate to do so. Swearing between friends went on when my DC were at primary school in the 2000s.

However, like any other form of bullying or aggression, the incidents involving your DS need to be dealt with.

The context is so important, and yours is worthy of a call to the school as it sounds as if he is aggressively swearing and IMO thats not ok.

I swear, not aggressively but probably alot in general conversation, I never swear at my kids but swear infront of them so id be deluded to think they dont swear.

However, if they were randomly swearing at people aggressively then thats an absolute no in my book, i also dont condone them shouting it in the playground when younger children or anyone really could hear.

It sounds like bullying is the issue. Kids swear from a young age, I heard lots of fucks and shits at primary school in the 80s (don't remember hearing cunt until later though). My experience was kids swore at primary school but you didn't hear teachers swear much until secondary school.

In your case the real problem is the child's aggression. You can't stop them swearing and can't prevent your child learning the words.

@Dishwashersaurous That sounds more like aggressive behaviour that absolutely needs raising with the school.

Swearing though is pretty par for the course. My son in year 1 has been taught the middle finger, and the word 'shift', because some kids (including the lovely teacher of swear words and frequent in-class hitter) in year 1 can't say shit yet. My son asked us about both. And if he was still allowed to say 'shift'.

You are being naive if you don't realise this is everyday language at home for many children.

I think saying fuck, shit or any other word is nowhere near the awful things on the list of what happens in primary school ranging from bullying, harassment, stealing, aggression.

My daughter was attacked on a school trip and assaulted, she did not fight back, the mum took zero accountability for her daughters behavior and then brought up my daughter had said "Fuck Off" to her suitcase when it tipped over 😂

So ya know, she was fine with her daughter assaulting someone but god forbid she hears the word fuck.

I remember hearing lots of swearing in the playground in the 80s - and I remember a particularly effective assembly where the Headmistress bawled us out over it.

There has always been, and always will be, swearing in the playground.

But the swearing your child is experiencing is directed at him as an act of aggression and that is not acceptable.

I think it’s pretty sad that primary school children are exposed to swearing so regularly that it is becoming part of their vocabulary. I know it happens but it’s sad and I feel sorry for those children and the environment they are being brought up in.

I don’t like it and don’t swear much at home so don’t expect my DC to. I raised it with school in y1!!! And I was told nothing they could do so apparently it’s acceptable behaviour.

Well neither is acceptable in my opinion. Obviously the abuse is not ok and she should have been disciplined for that but neither is the swearing, particularly if they are primary aged.

They didn't when I was young. Genuinely, when I was in primary 6 I remember seeing "fuck off" written on the wall in a leisure centre swimming pool. I had no idea what that word meant I had never encountered it. And I'm not even 40

Same. I don’t remember swearing at primary school either.

Yes, I’m mid thirties and it wasn’t common place at school when I was there. I remember coming home in year 6 having learnt a swear word for the first time and getting very told off for saying it at home.

This is partly why I asked because my children and their friends don't swear. They know the words by know that it's not acceptable language so wouldn't ever use it.

Maybe I am incredibly naive but I honestly don't expect children at primary school to swear, or for the school to think it's acceptable behaviour.

Certainly no one swore, or even knew the words, at my primary in the 80s.

There will be different rules for different kids. Some kids at my DS's school can tell teachers and lunch staff to fuck off and only receive a warning. Other kids will loose behavior points for tiny little things. It's not fair and the kids know it. What's the point of a behaviour policy?

(Losing behaviour points is more serious than a warning)

Swearing is an interesting issue. If the child is swearing aggressively at your son - telling him to fuck off for example then he absolutely should be made to stop.
Saying something like ‘for fucks’ sake’ when something has gone wrong is a grey area. I’m inclined to think that kids need to know what swear words are and that they are so frowned upon in most circumstances as that is exactly what gives those words weight when you truly need them.

For example, I worked with a woman who HATED the word cunt. Really hated it, you knew it disgusted her. Then, one day, when someone had done something pretty awful to her at work she called them a cunt. And we knew how serious she was

I don’t think it’s particularly sad in comparison to the multitude of other things that go on in schools. I am in a senior professional role and swearing happens occasionally at work.

Obviously DC need to know that swearing is totally inappropriate in some contexts, but I do think we need to move on from some of the pearl clutching around these words.

Swearing is more common in primary age children than you think!

Swearing covers a lot of ground. Kid saying shit when they miss a penalty is very different from kid calling a girl a bitch.

What are they saying and in what context.? Are they bullying or threatening him or calling him names? If so I think that is the issue you should raise with the school rather than the language the child is using.

I can assure you that many of them will swear at school.

Many parents think their kid wouldn't swear.

Most are mistaken.

Surprised by the amount of people happy with primary school swearing!!
Think I was quite fortunate to be in a fairly sheltered rural school and swearing was really not a thing in primary. I remember it happening a few times from P7s/when I was in P7 and it wasn't tolerated by teachers you definitely would have gotten in trouble if heard!
It's really sad it's obviously so common. My DS learned swear words (F word) in nursery and I was shocked and pretty gutted to be honest! I've heard work colleagues talking about their nursery age DC swearing and think it's funny.