To think children shouldn't be swearing in primary school

[Dishwashersaurous]

I'm genuinely interested in opinions and how this would be tackled in other schools.

There is a boy at my son's school who every single lunchtime will come and swear aggressively at my son. I understand he also does it to other children.

I've told my son to report to a teacher every single time, which he does.

However, it appears that there is no consequence or punishment for this child for the swearing. Then the next day the same thing happens again.

I intend to talk to the school about it because my son is now dreading breaktime and being sworn at.

However, Aibu to expect children not to swear at a primary school and that there should be action by the school to stop a child who does?

And even worse; I hear men swear to their babies or calling them names when they cry around public places

We wouldn’t put up with being called a “piece of effing shit” at work after all. Why would we expect a primary age dc to at school?

The problem is that when you've got children punching people in the face and destroying classrooms, a few one syllable words sadly aren't a priority because we have bigger fish to fry.

Of course, we'd all agree that there should be a focus on standards at all levels and swearing is probably the tip of the iceberg on a level of disrespect where the other end is punching someone in the face, but punching someone in the face can lead to physical harm where as swearing doesn't and you only have the capacity to deal with so much because, ultimately, you are there to teach.

I do PPA in the staffroom on the same corridor as the HT and DHT's office. This week, I just don't know how they got any work done because in the 2hrs and 30 mins I was in the staff room, they were constantly dealing with behavioural issues. Including a child who trashed their office. They spent the whole time dealing with behaviour problems.

And that was a fairly standard morning.

How on earth do you know there was no swearing? Did you bug the classrooms amd the playground? Even children at private schools swear, you know!

It is horrible and I would hate my dgd to hear it at primary school

Is your issue swearing or your son being sworn at? They’re two different things. I knew swear words in primary school, I’m baffled that you claim nobody in your entire primary school did. They swear in plenty of those 80s films we grew up on, I loved Back to the Future, they definitely swear in that.

My daughters in primary 7. So heading to high school in August and honestly it's like since hitting p7, the kids have become wild. The stories she tells me are shocking. I had her final parents evening tonight and her teacher has always taught p7 then moved to the lower part for 2 years now back up at p7 and she said she can't believe how different older kids are now. My daughters had the same classmates all through and now suddenly they all think they are gangsters. My daughter's outgoing and loves a chat but she's timid too so any song of trouble and she does recluse ans scares easy. Even at 11 she scares when the teacher shouts and I'm not surprised she does. One student said to another outside the school gates one Tuesday ' I hope your family drop down dead tonight' the other student beat him up. The students dad who was beaten up said well you deserved it. My daughter was like 'oh my god mum! No matter how much you hate someone you never say that! It's just so crossing the line and horrible' like where do they learn this stuff from! My daughter has swore to me when telling stories of what folk in class have said and I'm like why these kids saying these words lol! Like it's crazy to me. Her teacher openly said the class is a riot and she can hand on heart say my daughter is one of only 4 kids in the year (50+ kids) that behaves. Never had a row at school and never has to be told twice or told off and genuinely is scared to get into trouble by teachers. I've always had the behave in school have respect and try your best attitude and it does seem to work so far.

I agree, no reason for swearing, disrespectful nor threatening language. There is nothing wrong with having standards.

It is very intimidating to me, as an adult, to have people swearing around me too. I hate swearing on public streets and in parks too.

If people want to use gutter language at home, that is their decision but sad for the kids there..
Children will never learn to choose accurate descriptive words and a respectful vocabulary if they are allowed to grow up in schools that condone swearing.

Depends on the area. At my primary school, a lot of the parents are very rough sorts of families who swear casually with the kids. I've heard some of the reception kids tell each other to fuck off (in a jokey way as well)

My youngest DD is 'one of the boys' at school and some of her mates have potty mouths (7 year olds ). I've raised my kids not to swear and that language is disgusting to use, but some of her mates appalling language has been rubbing off on her. I've had to tell her off before for calling her brother a "poof". About a month ago I watched her play a ball game with her friend, she threw a soft foam ball at his head and he flinched, and she called him a "fucking pussy".. I was absolutely mortified, grabbed her by the hood of her coat and frogmarched her back home but the other mums and dads thought it was hilarious

If I heard either of my children swear, I would wash their mouths out!
They know they aren't to use bad words, my husband and I very rarely swear at home, except if we hurt ourselves or something!

Not sure it has much to do with the area. As I said upthread, my DC went to an incredibly middle class primary in the 2000s (which parents would literally move house to get into). Swearing went on in the playground.

I’m really surprised at how much of a fuss some players are making over what are simply words. Clearly swearing shouldn’t be used in a bullying or aggressive manner, but I think in 2025 some people need to unclench about more casual use.

Using swear words and swearing at someone aggressively are very different things. I would expect that most primary kids hear swearing in their school and are no worse for wear from it. I went to a nice Catholic primary school and have to this day never heard my mum swear, but I definitely did with my friends. We all grew up fine and have proper jobs and mortgages now.

Funny, I would say by 2025, at this stage in human history, we should be better aware of ways to establish and maintain a peaceful, respectful, and inclusive learning environment.

I would certainly say in a country where children are forced to wear school uniforms because uniforms are, inter alia, believed to encourage better behaviour and facilitate better learning outcomes, administrators would realise that uniforms are required because general school environment and school culture are important.

But apparently joined up thinking is too much to expect.

They shouldn’t be swearing, but the reality is that they do, because sometimes all kids are naughty and do things they shouldn’t. And always have. I don’t think swearing in front of other kids in the playground is a big deal. It’s happened in every school in the land for centuries.

If the teacher doesn’t hear the swearing, there isn’t a lot they can really do just because your son happened to snitch.

That doesn’t mean they don’t swear around their friends when you’re not there.

My parents absolutely would not tolerate swearing at home from us and I never swore in the house, ever. I was fully aware it wasn’t allowed. I still swore like a trooper with my friends at school, though.

Yeah fekkin little guttersnipes. Your kid will have a miserable (even more than most) school career if he goes running to the teacher everytimr someone swears at him though. They’ll do it more to wind him up. Little blighter might even have Torrets.

Swearing is very common at primary school…. kids learning new, taboo words and trying them out. It’s exciting for them.

It was the same when I was at primary in the 80s.

I don’t take issue with general swearing, but I don’t like it directed at people. It is bullying if aimed at other kids unkindly.

Derogatory language aimed at others and as common use should be in the schools anti-bullying policy along with possible consequences.

I am not going to accept DC swearing is ok on any level. I doubt many professional parents would want this in school or many others. It’s not acceptable.

I would also question why it’s accepted because a child has sweary parents. School is also about a social education. That’s why kindness, sharing, helping others etc are also considered what dc should learn and valuable. Would we tolerate drug taking, sex at school, drinking and smoking because dc see it at home and parents do it? Or do we maintain standards of behaviour most of us consider suitable for school age dc? Obviously we do and swearing is poor behaviour.

I’m glad the school in this case has it as a punishable offence. Not sure why op didn’t read the behaviour / discipline policy in the first place though.

The amount of weirdos on this thread saying things along the lines of "I can't believe so many people are ok with swearing in primary schools" is really worrying for the future of this country. Absolutely zero reading comprehension on show.

Just because people know that it happens doesn't mean they endorse it or would accept it in their presence.

I went to 2 different primary schools in different (very middle class) parts of the country in the late 80s-early 90s, and swearing was prevalent in them both. I left the first one to move away around 7 years old, and one of my few memories of that school is having to do 100 lines at lunch time because I called someone a bastard for throwing a snowball that went in my ear.

I never once swore in front of my parents / family / teachers etc and they probably wouldn't believe the words I knew by the time I was 12.

It’s never acceptable. If someone swore at work. I wouldn’t be including them in meetings with clients. They certainty wouldn’t be doing any overseas work where swearing in some countries is offensive.

@xILikeJamx It is a shame you did not read the OP and understand the context of the thread. It’s really about behaviour policies and what a school does about swearing. Not whether it happens or not.

You’re confusing issues. Would you be fine with this child if he had exactly the same tone and volume, but was saying cabbages? And would you be upset if the boy was swearing quietly to himself!?

I am not going to accept DC swearing is ok on any level. I doubt many professional parents would want this in school or many others. It’s not acceptable

beautiful bit of snobby classism there @TizerorFizz. Sorry to disappoint but I’m a very senior professional and swear a lot. As do most colleagues from CEO down. And clients. 🤷🏼

I personally don't have an issue with swearing per se.

In your case, I'd have an issue with the aggression. And I'd have an issue with the aggression even if there wasn't swearing. But you can have swearing not directed at anyone and that doesn't particularly bother me.

For example, my DD (year 1) was told by an older child in the playground at school last week "I'm going to cut you". I think that's far worse than if a child swore after they broke something or hurt themselves.