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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sil stalking my Sm

118 replies

Foreveronthattrampoline · 05/02/2025 14:48

Whenever I post something on Sm…pretty rare these days. Sil has obviously seen it, but doesn’t like it or comment etc, but will then text Dh saying for example: ‘Are you going skiing?’ if I’ve posted something about future plans.

I just find this a bit annoying and odd, would you?

Why would she do this?

OP posts:
TacticalEvasion · 05/02/2025 15:15

If she’s one of your followers/friends it’s hardly stalking if you post your info there for your followers to see. It’s then only natural for her to then connect with her sibling to enjoy an exchange of information/catch up a bit.
I haven’t posted on FB or insta for years but occasion pop on to see what DN is doing and I will then chat to my DSis about it. My sibling even directs me to go and have a look what DN is up to now on Insta or TikTok or something.
Why does your SIL chatting to DH about something you’ve publicly posted bother you so much?

MK19590 · 05/02/2025 15:16

If you don't want people to look at it, don't post it or block her

skippy67 · 05/02/2025 15:28

I think you mean following, not stalking.

username299 · 05/02/2025 15:30

I wouldn't find it odd that other people know what I've posted on social media. I wouldn't find it odd that my husband's sister asked him questions.

Redglitter · 05/02/2025 15:33

She's not stalking you, she's following you. That's how SM works.

If you don't want her knowing your business stop posting about it

TenderChicken · 05/02/2025 15:34

Nothing weird about it.

It is a bit weird that you post to social media and say people are stalking you when they see your posts...

purplecorkheart · 05/02/2025 15:36

No I would not find it annoying. I simply don't post anything on social media that I do not want people to know. Nor do I really care about likes or comments.

If your brother is like mine it from his wife's sm that I find out a lot of their plans.

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2025 15:37

Your post is incredibly disrespectful to the feelings of people who have actually been stalked.

Grow the fuck up.

ItGhoul · 05/02/2025 15:37

You're the one being odd here. She's following on your social media, not stalking you. She doesn't have to like/comment on your posts. Your social media is broadcasting what you're up to, she's following that broadcast. That's all. There's nothing weird about it. It's what social media is for.

ZingyReader · 05/02/2025 15:37

How rare is “pretty rare”?

outerspacepotato · 05/02/2025 15:39

You're the one posting the info on social media.

You can't really control what your sil talks to her brother about. Why would this even bother you?

BreezySqueazy · 05/02/2025 15:41

If you don’t want everybody knowing your business, don’t post it on SM. Simple.

Why do you not like her speaking to your DH directly about it, is it because she’s not commenting on your post therefore reducing your public comments and likes?

I have no patience for people who complain about SM. If you put your info and photos out there on the internet, you can’t then complain about privacy or people gossiping about it!

Dearnurse · 05/02/2025 15:43

Foreveronthattrampoline · 05/02/2025 14:48

Whenever I post something on Sm…pretty rare these days. Sil has obviously seen it, but doesn’t like it or comment etc, but will then text Dh saying for example: ‘Are you going skiing?’ if I’ve posted something about future plans.

I just find this a bit annoying and odd, would you?

Why would she do this?

If you post something on social media everyone can see it , including your sister inlaw and if your pitting it in a public domain then she might see it and ask your partner, her brother about it .. how are you getting upset ? Block her if you don't like her 🤣

Digdongdoo · 05/02/2025 16:09

Why are you posting stuff online if you don't want anyone to know about it? YABU. YAB ridiculous.

zingally · 05/02/2025 16:38

Just block her, or put her on limited profile.

When I had a similar irritating work colleague, I just created a filter that included everyone else apart from her.

ConsuelaHammock · 05/02/2025 16:42

Woman posts her business on social media for all to see!
Woman is shocked when someone comments on a post ( but in real life and not on said social media post ) that woman has posted on social media for all to see?
Yip it’s you.

sillysmiles · 05/02/2025 16:43

Is the issue that she doesn't like or comment on your posts??

Or that she talks to her brother??

Neither are reasonable. I often see things on SM, comment on them in RL but never like or comment on them online.

Surely you post on social media so people know what you are doing and that facilitate social interactions.

holju · 05/02/2025 16:45

It'd be even weirder if, having seen the posts, she pretended not to know what you were doing. Are you really just miffed that she doesn't 'like' your posts?

dothehokeycokey · 05/02/2025 16:49

Wtf?!

If you post on a public platform don't moan people read it ffs

I don't ever know or understand why anyone wants the world to see their life story on sm let alone hear every conversation because everyone now seems to walk round with their phones on loud speaker which also drives me bonkers.

It's just odd odd self indulged behaviour.

CarpetKnees · 05/02/2025 16:54

I'm with everyone else.
You've put some news on your SM, and you know she follows you on SM. Why would you think it odd she has then read it ? Confused

Why would it be odd for her to mention something interesting in your lives, when she is chatting to her brother.

The word 'stalking' is completely misused in your post.

JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 16:55

Why are you complaining - you WANT people to know about what you do don’t you?

BreezySqueazy · 05/02/2025 17:01

JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 16:55

Why are you complaining - you WANT people to know about what you do don’t you?

What OP wants is attention for her SM posts and she doesn’t like that the attention is going to her DH instead. I bet she’s fuming about the way this thread has gone because that also hasn’t had the positive attention she was looking for!

WingsofRain · 05/02/2025 17:05

I agree with PPs that you evidently don’t understand the meaning of the word “stalking”.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 05/02/2025 17:08

Is this about the “ stalking” or her not liking your posts?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/02/2025 17:09

WingsofRain · 05/02/2025 17:05

I agree with PPs that you evidently don’t understand the meaning of the word “stalking”.

Or the concept of social media.