Sil stalking my Sm

[Foreveronthattrampoline]

Whenever I post something on Sm…pretty rare these days. Sil has obviously seen it, but doesn’t like it or comment etc, but will then text Dh saying for example: ‘Are you going skiing?’ if I’ve posted something about future plans.

I just find this a bit annoying and odd, would you?

Why would she do this?

If she 'liked' or commented on your posts, would that STILL be stalking, @Foreveronthattrampoline ? Or does it only count if she reads something that shows up on her timeline but doesn't respond in some way?

Huh? I get a notification every time my sil posts. I’m not stalking her. Sounds like her brother tells her nothing and she’s trying to make conversation/connect.

Ignore the usual lot flying in to try and make you feel like shit for asking a question and having feelings op.

I get what you mean! It’s your sister in law not a random stranger. It’s normal for family and close friends to interact on the social media you use. And yes it can feel wierd for a close friend to family member not to interact with you directly. I’d wonder why as well if it was someone close

I don't have social media because

1. I'm a private person
2. Slightly paranoid
3. I think that if I'm important enough to friends/family we ought to be able to keep in touch anyway

You seem to have my number 2 problem ; being slightly paranoid. Solution : quit social media. Nobody is stalking you: you are providing information for the whole world to see.

That's not stalking. Don't be so daft. It sounds like you are just annoyed that she doesn't acknowledge you on SM.

OP you’re essentially annoyed that SIL isn’t adding to your social media clout that she’s speaking to her brother instead.

This may be a ‘you’ problem

Wow 😂 what a pile on.

I’ve hidden my stories on Fb and Ig from that side of the family as I just can’t be arsed with it, so there’s a lot she doesn’t now see. But I made an Instagram post on the grid part after Christmas (I cannot hide this in any way, have looked into it and it doesn’t seem possible) and every time I do, she comes rushing to question Dh about it, not in a lighthearted ‘Oh I see you went such and such a place, was it nice?’ But in an interrogating, questioning way…It’s the way she is, hence why I hide her and them on everything else.

If you are posting news on social media you must be intending your audience to see it! Though if you regret having her as a SM friend you can post to a filtered audience so she won't see the post but you can avoid the drama of unfriending.

Or is it that you're annoyed she looks at your posts but doesn't "like". Some people seem to think that's rude though not sure why.

Edit - sorry cross posted. That does sound very annoying!

I mean, this sums it up really.

I'm exactly the same. (private and paranoid.) I do have FB and Insta accounts, I did post on them for a while but I haven't done for years. My profile settings are always watertight, I dont' allow tags to appear on my timeline etc. I keep abreast of status updates from friends but I don't always acknowledge them with likes or comments. I am not obliged to.

I have zero patience with people who keep their SM accounts set to public then complain about other people 'stalking' their SM and knowing all their business. You wanted to attract the attention of all and sundry? You did. Stop complaining and grow up.

Presumably your SIL and your DH actually like each other so it seems completely normal she would text him about stuff. DH and his sister talk nearly every day as they are good friends as well as being brother and sister. If I posted something on Facebook she probably would talk about it with him rather than with me.

So you are annoyed you aren't getting the likes/comments publicly?! Not seeing the issue, assume you dont like her..

I get you. My SIL obviously looks at my posts as does similar, but never ever posts or sends me a message. I think the last message I have from her was about 2 years ago and I have no idea what my nieces look like as she never shares any recent photos or anything about her life but she's always looking at mine. It's annoying

How do you know she looks at your posts?

PSA: nobody HAS to post on social media. And if you don’t want certain people seeing your posts then either don’t post or remove them as a friend/follower

What?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have unfriended people on SM for this, and in real life too

I might see friends posts, but I comment or like only very rarely.

Because she goes straight to Dh to interrogate

I haven’t commented on a post in about 10 years. If I see people are getting married, having a baby, bought a house, having a birthday etc I message them my congratulations privately

Didnt realise I was commuting a social media faux pas. Do people actually get annoyed that they missed out on a post comment?? What does people commenting on a post bring to your life that a private message doesn’t? Do you need public attention and adoration that badly?

I wasn’t talking to you.

But presumably you WANT her to see your posts? What would you rather she do - comment on your post? PM you? Ignore you?

Block her. Simple

I don’t care if she comments or not, she just never even asks me about it or any nice, lighthearted comments, it’s just straight to message Dh…I dunno, I find it quite odd

Not sure what is difficult to understand. Your issue seems to be she is reading your posts but then speaking to your DH about them rather then commenting online.

Seems to me you would be far less annoyed if she was engaging with you online providing you with public likes and comment...