Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

[theworriermum]

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

Are you choosing the right hair cut? I go for a trim only, no washing or blow dry and it’s £18. They don’t faff around layering or thinning or making a particular style because that’s not what I’ve paid for. I wash my hair that morning and they just spray wet it before trimming.

I don't understand why you booked in with a different hairdresser instead of making and waiting for an appointment with the only one you trust and making sure you could get there when the time came? I understand you might have wanted a pick me up, etc but ime it's always worth waiting for a good hairdresser.

This is why I love my salon and hairdresser.

Each Junior has to be an apprentice for 3 years, go to college once a week and they close the salon on a Monday and Weds at 5pm (open till 8pm every other day) for the Senior Stylists to do extra training for those in their last year of college.

As a result, they’ve been going for over 40 years and have brilliant staff and customer retention. I have to book 2 months in advance (book again at the end of every appointment) but they always always listen. I’ve been with them for 10 years and have seen 1 person unhappy at the end of their colour. The manager (does my hair), went straight over and came up with a FREE plan to put it right. Brilliant service and brilliant stylists.

Hunt down similar!

This thread is crackers! So many peopls saying "s/he never does what I ask" "s/he always gets it wrong" - going back to the same person when you know they didn't get or do what you wanted the previous time. Isn't there some quote about the definition of madness being to repeat the same thing and expect different results?

Where are you all finding these terrible hairdressers? Does noone have a friend with nice hair who you can just ask for their hairdresser's details and go and see them. Obviously even better if your friend has similar hair to you, but a decent hairdresser will be able to work with more than one hair type!

Taking the time and effort to find a good hairdresser is worthwhile, but I think mainly done through word of mouth. The look/nature of the salon tells you nothing about the actual people cutting the hair. Decent hairdressers will have a portfolio (maybe on instagram, maybe just something they keep themselves), so you can see what they've done for other people and what kind of cuts they seem to favour. And going to the same salon each time (but not necessarily the same hairdresser) is essentially starting again each time. Just because someone cuts in the chair next to the person who did a good job before, it doesn't mean there will be any similarities in their approach or ability!

To counter all the horror stories here, I think I've only had 3 hairdressers since I moved to the midlands in 1996. The current one is probably on her 5th salon, with a stint of mobile/at home cutting too. I've had cuts from pixie to shoulder length, and been blonde, copper and brunette. She knows what my hair will and won't do, and tells me if I ask for something daft!

I feel you OP. Currently heavily pregnant and stupidly decided to try a wispy fringe to hopefully offset the face bloat and give it some shape. It's just not what I showed or asked for at all and it usually wouldn't bother me as much but I just feel horrific right now there isn't one thing I like about myself.

@Barleysugar86 The best haircuts I ever had were by a male hairdresser too, apparently trained at a famous salon in Paris.

He was so so skilled at cutting curls. It's as if he could see, not just the curl on the day, but also visualise how it might be in different humidities, and how it would grow, and then cut at exactly the right angle in the right place so that it fell beautifully, not just then but for months afterwards. A curl whisperer!

Unfortunately for me, this was some 35 years ago in Cairo, and I've not been able to get back for regular trims.

I ditched the salons years ago, only one of the hairdressers I ever had would cut my hair as I asked and also did not chat to me unless I chatted to her. She also would blow dry my hair without also using straighteners as I don't like them. Unfortunately, she left to have a baby and never went back.

I now have another mobile hairdresser who cuts really well, colours well and does pretty much what I ask in the cutting area. However, after three years of blow drying she still uses a small brush when I like a large barrel brush, it puts more volume in, I've now given up asking her to put volume into the style, I now use my Revlon One Step after she's gone to put the amount of bounce into it that I like.

Fortunately, she's much cheaper than a salon, she's also nice and so I put up with the blow drying annoyance as everything else is good.

It has taken me ages to train my hairdresser not to feather the ends of my very fine hair, which made it look like straw, and I don’t want it shorter than shoulder length. She’s a good cutter overall so I went back and she has finally got it. In her defence, English is not her first language so there has been a lot of miscommunication at times.

Why would you take that position? Believe her - she made her feelings known and they were disregarded. Even if the hairdresser was right, they should not have proceeded against instructions without getting agreement from her first, as part of the consultation. You 'bet' it looks lovely - it doesn't matter if you, the hairdresser or every single other person on the planet thinks that her hair looks good - if she doesn't like it, that is all that matters, and not only does she not like it - she specifically asked the hairdresser not to do it.

Try cutting your own hair. EBay sells scissor sets. One for trimming one for thinning.

At least even bad haircuts grow out.

I feel you. I’ve got very thick curly hair. I like it layered and thinned and to keep the curl. All hairdressers seem to want to do, though, is introduce a couple of long layers and blow dry it straight. Maybe we should swap?

I have found that paying a small fortune at an upmarket salon gets me what I want. Maybe some hairdressers have only one style that they can cut, and that’s what you get?

I’ve only ever found three hairdressers that I was happy with. The absolute best one left to go travelling and I haven’t got over it several years on. He came back after a while, but not to our city and it’s just too far to get too. Plus, he’s so popular that he’s not taking on new clients and I’d need a mortgage to pay the prices anyway.

I feel you OP. I have very thick, coarse hair and have tried so many hairdressers over the years. I always joke that if I look away for one minute, I end up with thinned out layers. I don't mind having thick hair, I do mind thinned out strands that looks unhealthy and looks like a mullet in 2 weeks. I think once they start thinning out, they're like 'oh shit, there's so much' and they don't know when to stop. My best advice would be to find an old-school hairdresser, not a chain - they generally seem to be better trained in blunt cuts.

This is why I have used the same hairdresser for 30 years - every time I came out of his salon feeling like a million pounds and walking on air. I can only afford the £70 for a cut and blow dry two times a year so I really appreciated him and how he remembered what my hair does and the way it grows and he did the most flattering and low maintenance cut so the hair could do its thing!. But now he has retired and I have no idea where to go or what to ask for from my next hairdresser!

https://www.goodsalonguide.com/about-us

I found my hairdresser from this website and have been happy with her for over 15 years.

I have thick hair and so many stylists try to get the thinning scissors on it. Many hairdressers also still seem to think that everyone wants the Jennifer
aniston layers which years later baffles me!
im super cautious now after having my hair re styled at 20 and it being the biggest disaster.. at that age it really did ruin my life.
on balance, I now have an amazing and very experienced hairdresser.

I have found my people! I have fine straight hair and endured stylists chopping layers into it for years. They always said it would give my hair more body. Except that, having had one over-priced shit experience too many, I went to Supercuts for a trim and, when I commented on layers not being cut in, the stylist actually said "Oh no, you don't want to do that with fine hair. Why would you cut it off?" I could have hugged her. Since then I've only ever been to similar places where they dry-trim my hair. Literally just trim, nothing else. It's brilliant and costs about £20.

I did once find a hair stylist who would be honest (albeit off the record) about why things can be so bad - she said it's because badly trained and/or lazy stylists only bother to do one style and they do it to everyone. Fine if it suits you but you're screwed if it doesn't!

My advice is to NEVER choose the cheapest option in the salon as you’re likely to get someone with very little salon experience and more likely to be disappointed with the results.

Unfortunately one of the worst hair cuts I ever had (so bad that another stylist asked where on earth I'd had it done) was done by a Director, the highest grade available at a "luxury" salon. When I complained and went back, they gave me another stylist who went to great lengths to tell me why I was wrong in my opinion that I didn't like my hair having chunks chopped out of it or being different lengths. And then charged me full price. I never went back.

I have a lady that cuts just as I ask, but I still have to work myself up to booking with her. Why?

She drops her comb down and it flicks my head, not super hard but quite firmly - like being flicked by a finger. Every time. snip flick snip flick snip flick. It drives me insane. It is like a form of water torture.

I have asked SEVERAL times to stop, one time I asked five times during a single cut. She nods politely, but nonplussed like she doesn't see what the problem is, and after a few rounds, she forgets and goes back to it. I get more and more irritated during the cut and it ramps up each time I ask her to stop and she restarts. Flick snip flick snip.

Why do I put up with it and go back? because I have wild thin baby fine hair with a huge cowlick at the front and a double crown at the back that if cut wrong falls into a shape that makes me look like I have a tonsure. As an added complication the two crowns have two hair patterns, in opposite directions.

She is the ONLY person who has not given me a terrible cut, she doesn't chatter, she doesn't thin my hair, she doesn't layer, she works round the cowlick knowing it jumps up and she cuts perfectly at the back to work with my two crowns. She is absolute perfection as a stylist except for the constant assault by the comb. flick snip flick snip flick snip.........arrrrrgh

I find things always start out well in the beginning but once you become a regular customer they stop bothering. My last one cut a great shelf of hair off by my chin while the rest of it was below shoulder length.

The one before was worse. First she said she couldn’t see me that day but would get her trustworthy colleague to do it. As he started cutting, I asked him how long he’d been at the salon and he told me it was his first day!

Moments later she walked past and said loudly “Still the same, old haircut Sweetgingercat?”

I will never go back there.

Maybe this is it, my hairdresser is older than me, and I absolutely love her. She started out as a hairdresser and she’s one of my dearest friends

she is a phenomenal hairdresser

im so sorry you’re all having such awful experiences.

My hairdresser is pretty good - I've been going to him for about 10 years and whilst he listens to what I want and does it, he seems to be a deranged conspiracy theorist. He was talking to me about submarines and listening technology last time ("they're watching us all you know") and I have to agree because, you know, he's got scissors.

I had to change colourists after an experience last year where she was so distracted, despite me asking her to cover up the white hair just above my ears (I'm a redhead and go bright white rather than grey), she missed a big chunk and because the rest of my hair was coloured, I ended up looking like bloody Wolverine until it all calmed down! Aveeno clarifying shampoo was my savour!

I go to a salon which is part of a small chain where they have apprentices that train through to level 3. Their training is really thorough and well supervised. I never get a bad hair cut there.

Even the same hairdresser doesn't cut it the same twice! Learn to cut your own hair..when a hairdresser gets it right it's amazing but it's such an expensive gamble.

Their claim of being 'the only nationwide salon finder in the UK is spurious'. I looked at the 3 towns closest to me (all within 4 miles), population of over 200,000 in total, and not one salon is listed. The closest it gave me was 9 miles away.

Salons will pay to be in that guide, so most good ones won't need to (because they're busy enough already), and it's entirely self selecting.

It's great that you found a good one through it, but the Yellow Pages (remember that?!) would have done the same job.

I love this thread. After a lifetime of thinking I'm being weird about professional haircuts or have awkward hair, it turns out there's just a LOT of bad hairdressing out there!