Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

[theworriermum]

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

My hairdresser for some reason hates to uses scissors, she always wants to razor my long, already fine hair, I hate it it makes my hair all ‘pointy’ for want of a better explanation, I just want an inch of the bottom and slightly shorter around my face, I mean razoring fine hair is insanity it’s literally taking any thickness away, it’s infuriating, you have my sympathies OP.

I’m with you OP. I coloured my hair recently after being indecisive for months. My hair is dark and I stressed that I wanted some dimension but I want to keep it dark. I showed her photos of chocolate brown highlights in dark brown hair. Stressed that I want it to look subtle. She reassured me it would be fine.

I had blonde highlights in my dark brown, almost black hair. Like, wtf! I built up the courage to say it’s too light and she said oh in one of the photos I showed her the tips were light so it’s just like the photo.

She “fixed” it by putting some toner in but now the toner has faded I have copper highlights. I just wanted something subtle, that’s all!

I would understand if she explained that something went wrong and she would fix it, but it’s the weak excuse of the tips in one of the several photos I showed her. And then to make me out to be awkward by whispering about me to other hairdressers! Why do hairdressers do it!

This is why I just go for a dry trim nowadays.
Straight cut along the bottom , no layers , no feathering , just a blunt trim all dead ends off.
Whenever I used to get a cut and blow dry they would tinker about with it and also have been given the front razor layer thing without being asked .
So now I go to a local small salon that just does a basic dry cut.
Wish I’d done this years ago.

I’m sorry, I’m growing out a similar mishap after I asked for a blunt trim with no layers and came away with a choppy layered bob I cried. Quite a lot.

I'd LOVE for a hairdresser to come on here and give us the other side. I truly believe it's because they get bored and love getting scissor happy like most of us did with dolls as children.

The trim is also blunt and looks so odd. I really really miss my hair, especially as I feel so damn unattractive right now.

I have same experience taking my boys to the barbers. Doesn’t really matter what I ask for, what grade they agree to nor the pictures we show them - they always get a short back and sides. Plus they add wax and style the hair. The next day after a hair wash the fringes are always wonky donkey. I have previously vehemently asked for “just a trim and tidy-up” and they took 0.5cm off all over and then looked pissed off when I said take off more.
I only get my hair done a couple of times a year, with self trims (see YouTube) inbetween. I also do my own colours, usually on a whim when bored. Last few times I have visited the hairdresser they have commented on my “gorgeous tones” : mwa-ha-haa .This is me, adding a bit of this and that colour periodically (to pass away time on rainy days).
Hairdressers and barbers: when we get our hair cut, and unless otherwise stated, we want you to follow the previous cut. Trimming-off enough to look as though we have been to the hairdressers but not so far as to have received a new style entirely. I still mourn for my amazing hairdresser who just knew and always did an amazing job. I received compliments from lots of people after every single cut. 5 years ago she moved into the management of salons and I have so far failed to find anyone quite like her.

I have struggled to find a hairdresser who can cut my (perfectly normal) hair for years.

@theworriermum i can totally relate.

I have very thick, coarse wavy hair. It’s like hairdressers just cannot cope with the texture and take thinning scissors to it… all that does is ‘fracture’ the wave/curl and make it look really ‘bitty’ and frizzy.

I’ve learnt to say every time please DO NOT use thinning scissors on it, blunt cut only!

You have my sympathies… its frustrating and takes ages to get back to where you started.

I have now found a hairdresser who will listen, knows my hair and will do what I ask for but I have to go to her ramshackle house where she fosters pissy cats. The weeing kind, not in the cross American sense. I guess it must be worth it as I do keep going back.

I paid £157 to have the same hair colour as Sansa Stark at Rush once- absolutely not the shade I asked for- it took years to recover.

A lot of hairdressers in my experience are trained to do what they can do, if that makes sense, and can rarely cope with going off any other direct instruction when someone is sat in front of them. Do you remember the early 00’s when everyone would walk out of Tony and Guy with the same hairstyle?

my bugbear is no one seems to know how to blow dry straight anymore, using a dryer and brush, just get the GHD’s out, and it makes my hair look so flat.

I loathe going to the hairdresser. I have very fine hair that I can style well. They make me look like a freak. They cut masses off when I've asked to keep the length on top. I just loathe it. I go as little as possible.

I once said LONG layers only and ended up like Rod Stewart, it took years to grow out.

@theworriermum omg please post photos. Pen out your face but if you have any before pics it would be interesting too.
Hair takes a life of its own during pregnancy and maybe he saw something he thought you needed.
You might thank him when you grow into it even if they didn't think it was up for discussion. I bet bet it's lovely 🙂

So sorry for your loss op, hair is such a huge part of who we feel. I last went to a hairdresser in 2000, I was a skint student, saved up specially to get it done for an Christmas event, long straight hair just needed some "professional" shaping she styling. I came out with a bob, I was devastated, she massacred my hair so badly I have never done it again. YouTube self cuts with only myself to blame if I get too scissor happy ☺️

I’m at the hairdressers tomorrow and have the usual feeling of nervousness. I have plenty of pictures, so fingers crossed. It’s the second time with this stylist, no scissors and rarely thinning shears, thankfully she hates these methods.

Previous stylist just did what she wanted to, full on razor cut, without asking me, I presumed my highlights were going to be the same colour, oh no, she decided I would be blonder, it washed me out.

I would much sooner go to the dentist and have a filling, seriously, at least I get what I’ve asked for 🤷‍♀️

Do you all actually pay for these unsatisfactory results?

Very much agree. I'd say the quality of hairdressers has plummeted as years go on.

Do you take photos with you of the kind of style you actually want and are you realistic that they are relatable to your hair type? And deleted the pretty model face behind the cut and thought about how your own face will look?

I didn't mean to quote Sooty! Sorry!

Haven't let a hairdresser loose on my hair for 40 years because of exactly this. I cut it, I dye it. Seems nothings changed with these scissor happy hairdressers.

OP, I had something similar happen, and I went somewhere else where, although they couldn't put my hair back, they were able to blend in the layers and it looked a bit better. Maybe go somewhere else for a consultation and see if there's anything they can do? Consultations are usually free. Actually, at least twice, that route has saved me.

Having front layers taken too far back was the absolute bane of my existence between about 1988-2004. If you asked for some layers at the front, hairdressers used to love cutting ALL the hair at the front right back to your ears. It was as if they were trying to make me look as un-sexy as possible.

In more recent years, I think they've got used to the style where you have long hair left under the shorter layers at the front, but back then, they never left an under-layer of length to frame your face. I cannot tell you how many times they cut ALL the hair at the sides too far back. I'm getting annoying flashbacks just thinking about it. There are photos of me age 18 with just wisps of long hair at the sides with a bunch of shorter side layers. And I had photos of exactly what I wanted, as well. Made no difference.

I think I actually put the under-layer of front hair at the sides into hair bands once to stop them chopping it back!

I have textured hair and I have to stop them "texturising" it. That means they cut diagonally and also do that shaving motion down the hair shaft. 😡If they don't cut straight across, I can't do a single thing with it. I blowdry it as well as I possibly can and it still looks a mess, if they "texturise" it. Why would you texturise textured hair???

Completely agree with the op

It's like talking to a child, explain it again and again and again, but they still don't do as you ask?!?!

All I want is a blunt cut, no highlights

The amount of people who insist on the exact opposite is outstanding

Layers??? Layers???

No!

My hairdresser is a very cautious cutter. I have to keep on saying more more to get him to cut to where I’d like it

I have thick hair also- I love that its thick! But I am very clear about what I want and don't want now at the hairdressers and I feel they are good at listening. I've been going to Rush the past couple of cuts and have had two young male hairdressers just by chance and they have given me lovely cuts. Exactly the blunt thickness I wanted. I feel like they really listened! I actually found having a male hairdresser a really pleasant no nonsense sort of experience- I feel like the female hairdressers were more likely to go to town on the thinning/ feathering.